


Dragged Kicking and Screaming   Or How Burt Hummel Mashed the Hummels and Hudsons Into One Functioning Family

by pixiealtaira



Category: Glee
Genre: Gen, family fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:40:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 55,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23647072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pixiealtaira/pseuds/pixiealtaira
Summary: Somehow the Hummel household and the Hudson household had to come together…
Comments: 20
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

Burt supposed, looking back over the day of the Great Lights Fiasco and forward to the looming Hudson-Hummel First Family Hash-It-Out Meeting, that he should have been proud of Kurt for lasting as long as he had without flipping out. He also came to the realization that maybe they hadn’t been all that fair when combining traditions, either. Kurt was right, they had constantly told him no all season while they did Finn and Carole’s holiday traditions, starting pretty much since they got married. In fact, they had kind of just gone with how Finn and Carole did a lot of things since the wedding and things weren’t running very smoothly. The lights fiasco had certainly driven it home. He didn’t know if he could make things right, but he certainly could make things workable. Sighing, he wished he could have something harder than a Mountain Dew to drink.

A great deal of Kurt’s (Hummel) traditions were simply logic based and Burt should have remembered why and how they were started. Hummels had put up the Christmas Lights in October since the ER visit of Kurt’s 10th year. Anything not finished by Halloween was finished Thanksgiving weekend. That year they both fell off the ladder while hanging lights in the snow in December. Kurt ended up with his wrist wrapped for three weeks due to a bad sprain, but Burt ended up with a cast for six weeks because he broke his ankle. The ER doctor suggested hanging lights before it snowed and then just plugging them in when December started (The doctor said he actually never took his down). The practice was born the next year. Two weekends before Halloween, Burt and Kurt took the time to string the Christmas lights around the eves, windows, doors, and porch posts. They were properly plugged into a series of outdoor power strips which had built in timers. (They learned about using OUTDOOR power strips with timers from the electrician they had to call after shorting out half the house by using improper power strips the year Kurt was 12. That was also the year the electrician talked them into an outdoor electric system that wasn’t hooked into all the inside stuff. It made it so Burt could run tools outside without browning out the whole inside, which was a huge bonus.). The lights didn’t get turned on until the first weekend in December, when they added the lights up the path and the hanging stars, which hung from the inside of the roof on the porch and the small potted trees which sat on either side of the front door.

Burt had not been able to hang lights when they usually hung them that year, and Kurt had been so busy taking care of Burt (and the garage and all the household chores and keeping up his homework and glee and dealing with stuff at school) that he had not had time either. Kurt asked two Wednesdays (The Wednesday after the wedding, the Wednesday the day after Kurt started at Dalton) before Thanksgiving week if Burt wanted him to come home early from shopping on Black Friday, or even stay home from shopping on Black Friday, so they could put up the lights then…as they had no snow that had stuck yet and the day looked like it would be clear, however on the Saturday after Thanksgiving it was supposed to snow and it was supposed to keep snowing for a week after that. Burt had told him no…the excuse he gave Kurt was that they hoped to be in a new house by Christmas but the real reason was Carole and Finn had already started planning The Third Annual Hudson Christmas House Lighting Party for two weeks after Thanksgiving week and had informed Burt that that would be when lights were put up outside, not before. Or at least they said they had started to plan it…and Finn had been talking about it since the start of Kurt planning the wedding. Burt was trying to make things work and so didn’t argue. Kurt had just started at Dalton, so Burt figured he wouldn’t care too much. After all, he was bound to be too wrapped up in that to notice, really.

(He also told Kurt that Kurt didn’t need to locate the Advent Calendar that they had always had out…even before Kurt was born the thing was on the wall (It was a felt tree with little felt ornaments. He and Lizzie did it from the start. Lizzie had a roommate whose mother sent Advent treats while she was at college and had Lizzie had been entranced. She spent from their wedding to the end of November making their calendar for their first Christmas together. It felt wrong without it.). Nor did Kurt need to pull out the candles for the window sills, which they traditional set out starting on the first. The candles had been a tradition in Burt’s family since forever. Burt was slightly afraid his great grandmother would show up and haunt him about those candles, but…it was for the best, he’d convinced himself after a ‘discussion’ with Carole. Burt told Kurt it was because he wasn’t going to be around the whole time and so it would be a waste of space, time, and effort. Kurt had tried to convince his dad that they could do an Advent Calendar like his mom had talked about that gave her the idea in the first place…little treats to open every day to celebrated the season. He could do it at Dalton until he came home for winter break and his dad and Finn and Carole could do it at Lima, or they could arrange it so that the days he took his turn with the calendar were days he was home. Burt had ignored that idea and put off answering. The reason he gave Kurt hadn’t been the real reason. Carole wasn’t fond of candles in the windows, she thought it looked too showy. Besides, Finn was likely to want to play with a lit candle, so they couldn’t do those…Finn couldn’t be expected to be told No too often during such a wonderful season. And Carole had never heard of the type of advent calendar that the Hummels did, and she insisted that this first Christmas things would be too confusing as it was to introduce Finn to a new idea. The Hudsons didn’t do advent calendars before so they weren’t now. But it was easier to give Kurt other excuses, so Burt did. He also told Kurt he wasn’t going to take Kurt to the Nutcracker or the Tree thing, Carole and Finn wouldn’t like those and it wouldn’t be fair to make them watch something they wouldn’t like.)

Burt had known before Thanksgiving they weren’t going to have a new house before Christmas, he and Carole hadn’t even looked seriously at that point, since Kurt was at Dalton, boarding there until the end of the year. He hadn’t had any qualms telling Kurt a bogus reason for not doing the lights though. At the time he was really just trying to keep peace and make Carole and Finn feel at home and welcome. He had been working on the concept that Finn’s lack of taking care of things, like basic picking up after himself and his laundry, was due to unfamiliarity and not being comfortable enough in the house to pick up because he felt he didn’t know where things belonged or how to work the appliances and Burt had decided it might be best not to push the issue too much since they would be moving sooner or later. He’d made a deal with Kurt about the chores as it was, guaranteeing Kurt could do his daily chores on weekends and Friday night and the larger weekend chores and get his allowance still, and extra if Kurt made pre-made dinners for the rest of the week, the deal to be revisited when Kurt wasn’t boarding at Dalton…so the chores were being done in the long run. And it wasn’t like he and Carole weren’t really looking at houses –they looked at ads in the paper and on line and picked up those little booklet things that were free at stores. They just were not looking seriously enough to actually talk to a realtor or anyone about it. Carole and he both didn’t think they had really needed to yet. The only time they had to worry about Finn and Kurt having to share was during the weekends and holidays and the first few weeks Burt just told Kurt to suck it up and deal when he looked like he was going to toss a fit. (Burt refused to acknowledge that after he said that that first weekend, Kurt called Hank and the man had helped his son move four truckloads of stuff into a storage unit, since the whole ‘deal with it’ conversation had come about because Finn kept going through Kurt’s stuff and had even ruined and broke a few things.) They put a thin wall (not a real wall...one that could be removed easily) and a set of doors (and Burt had to refer to them as a set of doors and not French Doors when getting the man to come in and frame in the archway separating the bed area from the rest of the basement to be able to put doors in because Finn tossed a fit when he heard them referred to as French Doors) on the bedroom to allow the boys to sometimes have privacy and called it good. They figured it would all be fine. In fact, he and Carole didn’t seriously look at all until after Thanksgiving. Granted prior to Thanksgiving there had been just two weekends after the wedding weekend and they hadn’t been exactly smooth, really, and neither Burt nor Carole had really ever given thought to what the ‘end of the year’ really meant in terms of boarding. (He was ignoring it like he was the whole ‘deal with it’ reality, thinking about it would mean Burt had to talk about it and possibly deal with fallout from Finn and thus Carole about it…and Kurt was a good kid and could just deal with it, like he always did….not easily upset and unable to deal with too much like it sounded like Finn was.) Thanksgiving week, though, had been the call to action.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanksgiving break had been the whole school week long for Kurt, even though it had only been three days for Finn. It should have been fine. They had had the discussion about where people were sleeping (one in each twin bed in the bedroom). Burt assumed that was ALL that needed discussed. He was wrong. A ton of things probably should have been discussed before the week started…heck, before the weekend before started, like visitors and school schedules and the concept that Finn’s school was McKinley and so he went to school when McKinley was in school. Kurt’s idea of Thanksgiving break activities was not the same as Finn’s. Kurt thought Thanksgiving break was for studying and cleaning and getting ready for the big day. He did major chores that eased Thanksgiving day the weekend before…like clean out and stock the refrigerator and inventory the cupboards and pantry and stock the basics and clean the oven and wash everything in the kitchen in preparation for cooking. He wrote papers and did any homework and created a study plan for the rest of the week…which left little need for massive amount of study on Thanksgiving day and Black Friday...generally. Burt liked the practice. It reduced the stress of the Holiday and allowed everyone to be on the same page.

The weekend only sort of went as planned. Carole had put her foot down on massive cleaning in the kitchen, although Kurt managed some of it. Kurt was barred from taking stock of anything, as well. Carole insisted that action would make her feel inadequate, as she’d done the shopping recently. (Burt considered later that he wasn’t even sure Carole had ever looked in the downstairs pantry at that point, he knew Finn NEVER knew it existed at all.) Kurt shrugged and turned to other chores and studying, it was just the weekend and Kurt could get it all done for the four of them over the rest of the week. The getting ready part came in to play particularly hard, though, after Carole told Kurt Monday night just before she went up to bed that she invited family over for the holiday on Thursday and that everything needed to be perfect. Of course she hadn’t informed Burt of the invite of others either, but…things were as they were and he was trying to make sure that she and Finn were felling welcome and comfortable, so he didn’t fuss. Kurt, well, Kurt nearly flipped out. Thinking back, Burt didn’t blame the boy. Kurt liked to have a plan and work towards things, really, and he’d already been halted in his usual plan several times over. Yes, the boy could do wonders in a short time, but when he was given more time to plan and then implement it, things were incredible. Two days was not enough time, in Kurt’s mind, to put together a huge gathering...and as Carole started listing off people who were coming, Burt agreed with Kurt it was a HUGE gathering. Burt rather agreed that it was something that had needed a bit of a warning.

Kurt rose to the occasion, though. Kurt put up the books he’d been focused on from Saturday afternoon (He couldn’t leave until the Dalton Warbler’s had gone over the Sectionals performance the day before, so it was late afternoon since Warblers didn’t focus well when hyper.) until that moment (even while doing chores) and made lists of what was needed and what needed done. (Burt ought to have considered that those books were important considering that the week of Thanksgiving, during which Kurt usually offered himself up for as many extra weekend chores as he could do so Burt could pay him his allowance on Wednesday for use on Friday…one of few allowances which had no use stipulations…Kurt simply asked to be able to just do the two or three large chores that were necessary for Thanksgiving and his daily chores, and that any extra dad really wanted done be chores that were extremely needed so he could focus on the books. It was entirely out of character.) There were lists of food and snacks and things to be done and places needed to gone to and people needed to be contacted. There were lists of people coming…sort of. Burt had looked at the list making as a collaboration at the time, but when he thought back about it he realized that Carole had dismissed all the traditional foods Kurt and Burt usually had (butternut squash, baked potatoes, corn on the cob roasted on the small gas grill Burt used in the winter and fruit pies instead of pumpkin) and only included foods that the Hudsons ate and left Kurt with the majority of the household chores and the majority of the major cleaning issues and the majority of the cooking. And the majority of thinking about logistics and reality. In fact, the only thing Carole had listed as her being in charge of cleaning was their bedroom and their bathroom. Kurt had gone to bed Monday night asking if, since he wasn’t going to be able to hit the books as he needed and was going to have to be doing weekend chore chores, could he get weekend chore pay and Burt telling his kid he’d think about it, but if he paid Kurt weekend chore pay, he would do the same with Finn. Kurt had snorted at that, but at that point Burt hadn’t realized why.

“Great. Maybe I’ll get help around here. By the way, can you tell Finn to put his smelly socks into the laundry hamper which I added one of those odor removers to. Not on the floor where they make the room uninhabitable. I’d stay up later and do more but I’ve got at least another hour or more I need to do of school work. I’ll list other things I think of while I do my school stuff. I should have kept my work with me and done it while hashing out what needs done before Thursday…I think I could have read and wrote out lists. If Finn comes home past midnight, tell him to be quiet coming in. I thought we had a 10pm curfew on school nights unless at a school activity?” 

Burt went to answer ‘of course you do’ but Kurt was down the stairs before Burt could answer. However Burt couldn’t help but think over Kurt’s parting statement because he couldn’t remember when Finn had come home for the last few weeks on school nights when he’d gone out and he knew the boy wasn’t out anywhere studying. Burt made a mental note to talk to Carole about that.

Kurt cleaned all day Tuesday…taking care to get the room downstairs with the TV in it ready for guests and all the bedrooms clean and tidy and ready to be seen (even Carole’s and Burt’s even though Carole had said she’d do that. She decided Kurt would need to when she realized she wouldn’t be able to get to it because she had to go get some shopping done. Burt had assumed she had meant groceries and such. She had instead driven into Columbus to find a new outfit and see some friends from when Finn was a baby.)…and all the bathrooms ready to been seen and used. Kurt washed the bathroom floors and the tubs and showers and all the toilets. He had even washed the walls, since Finn had aiming issues. Kurt cleaned the kitchen (and Burt was home from work for lunch when Kurt was in there and heard the boy muttering about how he was awfully glad he’d chosen clean the oven (he’d managed the oven part before Carole insisted he was keeping her and Finn and Burt from lunch and cleaning the stove top would keep them from dinner as well), clean the cupboards (which had meant wipe them down according to Carole…Kurt had managed to get things back in the cupboards they belonged in, but had no idea what was stocked and what was needed. Burt could not tell him how two half used packs of Jello ended up in the cupboard with the plates.), and clean the refrigerator (which he’d done late night on Saturday after Carole told him he was in the way and she’d do it sooner or later) as his weekend jobs). He left the living room and dining room for the next day. While he cleaned he listened to recordings of several novels and short stories and some videos about history, stopping at the opened books spread all over the house to check facts and write notes or fill out worksheets. Kurt had gone out shopping and got snacks and sodas and games people could play as well, particularly children’s games which Kurt had removed from the house several years prior because he hadn’t thought they needed them anymore (They had had a few still but when Burt asked why Kurt hadn’t pulled them out, Kurt replied that he was not trusting kids related to Finn with his beloved games…and they were in storage and buying new ones that could be donated or tucked away for further use was easier. By Saturday Burt could see Kurt’s point. Half the games were missing pieces and several had been destroyed completely.) Kurt also had to buy the basic list which Burt had thought Carole had bought the week before but had not been bought after all...turkey, ham, potatoes, stuffing, pumpkin, eggs, flour, rice, bacon, cheese, beans, and all the canned goods needed and all the vegetables and everything else.

(Kurt called Carole to text him the grocery list since she said he had to do it and she had NOT let him inventory the cupboards, or pantry or fridge or freezer. He called back when the text came through to make sure he was reading it right. He turned around his SUV and drove home and checked the cupboards and freezer and pantry before going back to the store. Kurt called from the shopping market to the shop to ask Burt if Burt wanted him to pay for the groceries himself or if Burt was going to reimburse him later. Burt asked why he’d need to. Kurt informed him then that Carole hadn’t left him any money to shop with…just informed him by note he needed to do the shopping and then texted him that they needed everything needed to make the items on the list and enough for a large crowd…like more than 50. She saw his list on the counter and wrote the note telling him had better just shop for the groceries needed still and not just the snacks Kurt’s list had indicated he was going to buy. She had also texted him a list of details, which he got while he was shopping. Kurt had thought it odd that they needed it all since part of Carole’s excuses when making the list was that was what they’d planned for and Kurt thought that had meant some shopping had been done, but Kurt had looked and none had been done and Kurt was looking at 400 bucks for groceries and he wasn’t thinking that it was right for him to cover it…Burt told him he’d make sure he was paid back when he got home and to make sure he had the receipts.)

As soon as he returned to the house, Kurt started the preparation on things that could sit if stored right…like cheese trays, veggie and meat trays, and cookies and other baked goods and such. Burt had got home about a half hour before Kurt did and watched Kurt in action. Finn wasn’t home yet, and Burt had asked about Glee and been told they weren’t having it that day, so he didn’t know where Finn was…or Carole for that matter. Kurt had also called around and found extra seating from as many people as could lend some and that could fit into their house, so more people could sit and visit and such than could currently do with what they had. Puck showed up for dinner, with Finn trailing behind him in a snit…Finn hadn’t been ready to go home yet…about an hour after Kurt got back from shopping. Kurt sprang for Pizza and did a good basic clean of the living room as the boys ate. Tuesday night Kurt and Puck, since Finn wouldn’t help and Burt wasn’t supposed to do that type of heavy lifting yet, drove around to places with extra stuff and fetched it to the Hummel house. Then they moved furniture around and stuffed in extra sofas and loveseats and recliners and arm chairs and then added in loads of beanbags and still left room in the center so they could put up card tables and other folding tables and chairs. Kurt cleaned under everything moved and washed walls behind everything moved as they worked. The whole time Kurt carted around two books he was reading and a folder with worksheets in it and every time he could he filled in answers on worksheets when he had to do any waiting. Carole got home just before 9pm, declared she had an exhausting day and headed up to their bedroom.

To Kurt the Wednesday before Thanksgiving had always been for cleaning and cooking…last minute cleaning and upkeep cleaning and full out cooking. How else was a great Thanksgiving day to be had? It was also about listening to John Denver and the Muppets and finding the garlands for the mantle and banisters and setting out the holiday type items on the bookshelves…like the little lanterns and bowls of glass balls and the old fashioned toys. It involved getting the advent calendars together so they would be ready for the first and making a list of anything he needed to pick up to finish things off on Black Friday. 

None of that was allowed. Carole didn’t like fussy knick-knacks or garlands on banisters and Hudsons didn’t do advent calendars. Therefore, Kurt was not doing an advent calendar, of any sort. Carole informed Kurt of her thoughts on those matters very firmly and loudly, often. What Carole did want was all the book shelves dusted and reorganized so they looked less…nerdy. Kurt needed to move some of the books and replace them with other things. She told Kurt he needed to find places for more pictures of Finn and more of Finn’s stuff to add around the house instead of the things he usually put up for Christmas. She disappeared for an hour and half finding those items while Kurt thoroughly cleaned the living room…in silence.

(Burt later found the activity notes for Kurt’s activity advent calendar tucked into the back of the odds and ends drawer, wrapped together with a rubber band and a note on top that just said ‘Keep Trying’ and certain bits of baubles that were very important to Kurt tucked away places that Only Kurt would see them…the wooden top and the bag of marbles from Burt’s great grandfather which were given to Burt when he was little and the China Doll that Kurt’s mom had been given by grandmother before she died that had been her grandmother’s when she was little were tucked in the China Cabinet in the dining room, next to the wooden nativity and the mandolin that always rested in it, locked in…and Burt knew Carole believed the key was lost and so things inside were stuck there. The Christmas Star and the Angel were on top of the book shelf by the boxes that sat on the top and acted like bookends for the old encyclopedias from Burt’s grandparents.)

John Denver and the Muppets would interfere with whatever Carole and Finn were trying to listen to so it was out. Kurt tried to sneak it in a few times, because Carole wasn’t in the area and Finn wasn’t even awake to be doing anything, but Carole heard and yelled each time. Nothing was playing; no one was trying to listen to anything. He didn’t understand the reason he couldn’t listen it. He tried other music. Kurt was told not to sing, not to dance and prance about, and not to listen to any of that ‘stuffy old people Christmas music’ or ‘loud obnoxious teen Christmas music’. Kurt had had the radio on. He was then yelled at that it was the start of Christmas season and Christmas music was the only acceptable music, when he set his music to his ‘cleaning and scrubbing’ playlist.

Kurt washed walls that hadn’t been done the evening before and vacuumed floors and furniture and drapes. He washed down all the surfaces in the dining room and washed all the windows and glass surfaces. He polished the table and chairs and cupboards. Kurt was up by five am. Early morning was focused on the cleaning parts. As he cleaned and Carole commented Kurt was more and more stressed about it. 

All of the Hudsons’ relatives were coming the next day for Thanksgiving dinner and to meet the new family members…all of Finn’s relatives (two sets of grandparents, several aunts and uncles of Finn’s and several cousins of Carole’s and well over two dozen of Finn’s cousins of various forms…like half the people were related to Finn’s dad and not even Carole…Kurt and Burt were a bit confused.). Everything had to be done right…done perfect. Carole didn’t like how he did anything. It wasn’t how she would do it. It was easy for him to focus on the cleaning part since his other options were pretty much not there and he kept being told NO and Carole kept freaking out over everything being perfect. It was focus on cleaning or take to heart everything Carole was yelling about.

Focusing on cleaning in the early part of the day meant he wasn’t in Finn’s way. Kurt expected Finn to help out as well, as soon as he was up and about; after all it was his family coming. Besides, everyone works together to make the holidays good. Burt even helped on Wednesdays after he got off work. Of course Kurt also expected Finn to be up early, maybe not at five am…but not well past mid-morning and into the next part of the day.

The afternoon was about cooking to Kurt. It was about pre-mixing what Kurt could and baking cookies and pies and snacks. It was about basting and brining and marinating. It was about pre-making meals for Burt for Friday and the weekend and getting things together to make leftovers great and not boring. Kurt listened to things he could sing and dance to, usually the soundtrack to a musical that was more or less recent. Sometimes it was an afternoon where Elvis movies played in the background on the TV and Kurt sang to those. As Kurt baked he pulled out and washed the Christmas Linens for the Kitchen. He changed the regular dishes to the holiday dishes and pulled out all the seasonal mugs.

Carole didn’t like the Christmas stuff for the kitchen and she hated the music Kurt wanted to listen to so he was told to find other things and NOT to sing. Furthermore, she was baking rolls and those took priority over anything Kurt wanted to bake, he could do his baking later that night. Kurt managed to pre-make meals for the weekend before Carole took over. She had gone out to get lunch and bring Finn home lunch, before basically curtailing his baking. Kurt managed his brining and marinating. He got some salads made. He managed some snacks that didn’t need to be baked. And he did most of the mixing and kneading for Carole’s rolls. He wondered when Finn was going to come help.

Finn thought that the Wednesday before Thanksgiving was Vacation and Vacation meant Finn didn’t have to do anything. That particular Wednesday Finn thought was for playing video games in the living room with all his friends, even sports friends who picked on Kurt, and eating all the snacks that had been bought for the next day and drinking all the sodas bought for the next day and leaving trash all over the place. He figured if they started at about 10am, they could get a good 12 hours of play in and his mom would be happy to feed everyone. Burt had to step in when he came home for a late lunch and to ask about some stuff he’d just considered that they needed. The noise was so loud that Burt couldn’t hear what Carole had had to say about his questions. Finally he had to tell Finn the party needed to move somewhere else before two, without him as he was needed to help get everything ready for Thanksgiving and HIS family coming over.

(Kurt was sporting a bruise on his arm that Burt could see due to the short sleeves he was wearing to cook in, which he supposedly got from ‘falling’ into the door frame between the kitchen and hall and a scowl that had Burt worrying that members of the household would have ringing ears within minutes when he got to the house. Burt looked at Kurt with his ‘do you want to be working without pay’ face and Kurt went and put a sweater on, still glaring but not looking like he was going to take out someone’s knee-caps. He never did find out what really happened.)

Carole and Burt argued, Kurt threatened NOT to do anything else to help nor to go out shopping to replace everything Finn and his pals ate, and Finn threw a fit about how unfair it was that he had to do things when all his friends didn’t. Kurt ended up doing the shopping to replace what Finn had used up and to stock up on snacks since Finn couldn’t be expected to starve while he was home for vacation while Burt and Carole still argued. Burt watched as he grabbed the grocery jar money to do so and didn’t blame the boy. Although Burt had come home the night before and immediately gone to the computer to transfer the cost of the groceries to Kurt’s account, he also chastised Kurt on the amount of bags of chips and the amount of dips and the amount of soda the boy bought…over twenty large bags of chips and well over three hundred cans of soda. Finn and his pals had gone through every single can of soda and all the chips and dips before Burt got home and were whining about not having more when Burt arrived at the house. They had also gone through six packs of lunch meat and six loaves of bread and a jar of peanut butter and a jar of jam…not small jars and the tacos Carole had brought home for them all. He wasn’t even certain the grocery jar money would cover what Kurt had to replace. Burt was still home and still ‘discussing’ Finn’s refusal to help in anyway when Kurt got home from replacing the snacks. It hadn’t been a short trip. Burt chuckled when Kurt unloaded paper bags, with writing on the side that said ‘Finn’s snacks for Friday’ and ‘Finn’s snacks for Saturday, eat some leftovers you idiot’ and a sack that said ‘Kurt’s snacks for the rest of the weekend because all mine fit in one bag because I’m not a hog’, as well as chips and dips and sodas and crackers and spreadable cheeses and a larger variety of veggies…the kind Kurt preferred for his veggie trays…for the next day.

Kurt got home long enough to clean the living room again from the mess Finn’s morning gathering had made and clean the front bathroom again since the boys Finn hung with couldn’t aim, only to be sent back out when Carole realized they didn’t have enough tables and chairs and dishes and that they probably needed tons more meat. Kurt had called the shop and Burt gave Kurt the pre-paid shop card as he swung by on the way back to the store, new list in hand. Between Kurt and Burt and the guys at the shop, they had Kurt’s shopping list down to a new card table and four chairs, using the shop’s poker night table and chairs as well as Wades extra card table and chairs and sitting kids at end tables and the coffee table and older teens or adults if there was still too little table space at the couch and chairs with folding trays, which they had a good dozen of between all the guys at the shop. Burt would bring the stuff the shop guys had home when he was done for the day. Burt won the nice plastic/paper plates and plastic silverware argument, which took place over the phone with Carole when he asked if she was paying for the real stuff and what they were going to do with all the extras. Burt had gone back into work for a few hours and then had gone to pick up extra roasters and crock pots from Hank, since his family only used one each on Thanksgiving. They only had so many for use during bowl games season. Finn spent the rest of the day in the boys’ bedroom watching TV and playing video games on the TV Carole had bought and moved into it for Finn’s use and refused to do anything. By the time Kurt got home with everything Carole and Burt kept calling him to pick-up on his second shopping trip, Burt was home again and nothing more had really been done to clean up and get things ready for the next day except Carole had finished another batch of rolls. Burt helped Kurt unload the grocery type items from the SUV, rolling his eyes at how many groceries there were. Burt chose to ignore the chocolate advent calendar Kurt came home with which Kurt removed back out to his SUV as soon as he found the bag that had held it.

The rest of the evening (and night) was filled with Kurt’s commentary on how he hoped Carole’s relative (a different one each comment, by name and relation) would enjoy his efforts at which ever activity he was doing. Every single thing Kurt did was accompanied by a comment. (I hope Finn’s dad’s mother enjoys these carrots I’m washing for the vegetable tray, it took five minutes to find bulk carrots that weren’t too thick like those I bought yesterday. Are you sure others in the family don’t mind carrot sticks from large carrots cut in fourths? I know Finn’s cousin Norry wanted baby carrots; those were in the tray I bought. I hope these pieces of broccoli aren’t too big for your brother Bobby’s taste. I hope your mother likes Bell Peppers on vegetable trays, I went back and got the orange ones, since you said the yellow ones and red ones weren’t what your family was used to…only orange and green. I hope your sister Jan likes this ham I’m starting, with brown sugar and pineapples, or maybe she’ll like the ham I have in the other roaster with the honey mustard glaze. I hope your cousin Rick likes the potato salad; I made a ranch one after you said he hated mustard in his potato salads…after I had completed the normal one. I do hope we finish off both. I made a pasta salad as well; I hope it is to Finn’s grandfather’s taste since you insisted it was all he had his heart set on. Would Edna prefer a hot spinach dip or one with spinach and artichokes? Who is Edna related to anyway? Oh, she’s Finn’s Uncle Randy’s ex-wife. Well I hope Uncle Randy likes crackers with his hot dips, I have the stuff for that cheese and sausage dip set aside to start as soon as we wake up. And his current wife Linda will be here too? Does she like ranch to dip her veggies in? Oh, only store bought dips for her. We’d best go get some more. I hope Finn’s cousin Eric likes this salad…he said Eric likes raisins. I hope the bathroom is clean enough for your father. I hope your cousin Lily approves of my dusting job. I hope Finn’s dad’s sister Alice thinks the vacuuming is done well enough. I hope the windows are clean enough for Finn’s cousin Molly.) Burt was simply annoyed until Carole complained that even after she called Kurt and told him the exact brand of pickled asparagus her Aunt Jane liked, Kurt managed to buy the wrong one and therefore Kurt needed to go out again and get the right one. Kurt replied that she didn’t tell him a brand, she told him a store. She told him the brand of garlic stuffed green olives that her Cousin Joy’s husband liked and the brand of pimento stuffed olives that Finn liked and the brand of pimento stuffed olives that Finn’s cousin Lucy liked and the brand of pickled artichoke hearts that Cousin Amber liked and the store to get the right tea blend for Grandma Martha and what flavors of hot chocolate to hunt down so everyone would have their favorite as an option, but nothing about a brand of asparagus. He also sprinkled in plenty of ‘such and such would be easier and get done quicker if Finn could help’s, much to Carole’s annoyance. Burt had said no to sending Kurt out again for a single brand of something they already had and listened to a ten minute rant about brats. His annoyance was sliding into anger.

It wasn’t like Burt was just mad at Kurt. Burt was just as mad that Carole wasn’t making Finn help and was calling Kurt a brat as he was about Finn’s refusal to do a single damned thing other than order people to get him snacks and dinner and drinks and Kurt’s sassy bratty attitude. Then Carole realized they had forgotten to get gravy and she was not going to make it from scratch, and nor was Kurt going to make it from scratch because that just wouldn’t look right. Kurt was in the middle of cooking and Burt had already said no to him going out again anyway, which was unfair on everyone by the way…and so she sent Burt to the store to get it. By the time Burt got home, after standing in line for an hour with just 8 items (Two very large jars of gravy, three jars of the right type of Ranch dip, the right brand of pickled asparagus, and a the exact brand of bread and butter pickles for Finn’s cousin Jimmy, who would eat nothing else and Kurt didn’t get the right ones the first time…and yes, Carole realized that this specialty brand was a whole four bucks more expensive than the regular brand and like almost six bucks more than store brand but Jimmy needed the specialty brand…those were what he liked, not any of the cheap ones… and a bag of mini candy bars for himself), he understood a bit more of Kurt’s mood (Kurt, who was making pies and cakes, and who was cleaning the dining room again because Carole had decided to make her roll dough in the dining room and not the kitchen and got flour and stuff all over. While Kurt cleaned her mess in the dining room, Carole was ‘reorganizing’ the mantle and items on the book shelves in the living room and putting things that weren’t ‘right’ for her family that was gathering to see none too carefully in a box which was then shoved into the closet in the hall). Burt had hit nearly irate in terms of mood. Finn never did anything to help out on Wednesday. Kurt stayed up until two in the morning, partly because Finn wouldn’t let him in the bedroom and partly because someone had to stay up while the first turkey cooked and Carole wanted all the salads and dips made before morning and had decided they needed more cookies and treats. Kurt slept on the sofa in the television room downstairs.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanksgiving morning started early, with Kurt and Carole working to finish up cooking. Kurt turned on the TV to the channel that showed the parade with the Broadway show peeks. That lasted all of ten minutes. Carole refused to watch the parade on the channel that had the Broadway numbers. The TV was turned to the parade the way Carole and Finn liked to watch it and Kurt was scolded for not having done so in the first place. Hudsons just watched the ‘normal’ showing of the parade. Kurt couldn’t turn on any music to listen to…the parade was on TV. He also couldn’t go watch it…there was too much to be done. Finn came into the kitchen at nearly 11am, while every burner was being used and the oven was full and things to go into the oven backed up and demanded a hot breakfast…and not one done in the microwave…before starting to stuff Carole’s rolls from the day before into his mouth by the handful. Carole yelled at Finn about that, but allowed him to take off with a whole plate of cookies since she couldn’t make him a hot breakfast like he wanted. She demanded Kurt make up some of the refrigerator rolls to replace what Finn ate…in fact he probably needed to cook like six to ten tubes of them just to be safe and more cookies. Burt shook his head at Kurt when Kurt went to say something about it and Kurt just sighed. Kurt did make sure it was known that the cookies were not being replaced…there simply was not time. Finn whined and Carole fussed, but Kurt held firm. Finally Burt dragged Finn out to start hauling in the folding tables and chairs Kurt had picked up. He whined the whole time about it not being fair that he had to work at ‘hard stuff’ and how Burt should make Kurt do it so Finn could go watch TV. Then Finn sat in front of the TV and watched games and whatnot while Burt put up the tables and got the chairs set out (even though he wasn’t supposed to be doing so). When it was nearly noon, and everyone was supposed to start showing up, Kurt went and got dressed…and was promptly told by Carole he needed to go change into something that made him look more like a normal boy. Burt bypassed that explosion by telling Kurt that the rest were going for a casual nice look and why didn’t Kurt go fine a nice sweater instead of a dress shirt, vest and waistcoat. Kurt came back in a sweater that while it didn’t look too manly didn’t scream girly either. Carole was about to start on him again about his choice, when Burt stopped her. Kurt also came up with the books he’d been reading when he could on Tuesday and the folder of worksheets. When Carole stopped yelling about his clothing, she demanded he go put the books and school work away. There would be no highly intellectual stuff while her family was there. Burt sent Kurt down to put his books away and then in to mash the potatoes and make sure the stuffing was almost done and switch the scalloped potatoes in the oven over to rolls so they could get the green bean casseroles in in time to cook properly. Burt told Carole not to whine about Kurt’s look anymore…and to tell her son to at least put on pants without a hole in the butt if she felt the need to manage a child’s clothing choices. Finn refused to change until his mom pointed out that if he didn’t change certain cousins would be able to see his boxers and asked if he really wanted them to know he was wearing boxers with little smiley faces on them.

The day didn’t get much better. Family started showing up late. Burt soon found out that Carole had actually told everyone one to two, not noon, even though she told him and Kurt noon. It was ok, more was done in the kitchen. As soon as family started arriving Kurt was kicked out of the kitchen. The only thing left to do was remove the green bean casserole from the oven and turn the heat off from under the gravy. Finn took off to the bedroom with four male cousins who were about his age, leaving the cousins just younger to try to follow. The older boys spent the next hour screaming at the younger boys when they got upset when they kept getting tossed out. Finn wouldn’t let Kurt in the bedroom either. Burt finally sent all the younger boys outside and into the garage with balls and games and a space heater so they wouldn’t get too cold. The girl cousins all took over the television room downstairs and were watching Barbie movies and gossiping and making the boys yell from the bedroom because the girls were giggling too loudly. The master bedroom was where babies were put down for naps in playpens and so off limits to Kurt. Finn wouldn’t even let Kurt near the bedroom to get his phone or iPod or laptop or his school books, nor would Finn hand them out. (Burt couldn’t get them because if Finn gave Burt items from the room then his cousins would know he shared with Kurt, which would ruin his entire reputation in his family, according to Finn.) Carole wouldn’t let Kurt in the kitchen, not even to just sit. The TV was turned to football in the living room, with much arguing going on because no one shared favorite teams, it seemed, but Kurt wasn’t welcomed there after he said he didn’t have a favorite team. Finally Kurt took to sitting on the stairs to the upstairs and reading one of the books he’d taken off the shelf in the living room…one Carole had put there about National Parks, until he was called on to set the tables and put food out on the counter. Burt believed it was at the point Kurt pocketed a deck of cards from the kitchen, because Burt saw him playing solitaire later in the afternoon. Finn didn’t help one bit, nor did any of the other cousins.

Dinner was a landmine of issues all on its own. Burt suggested that they could do what his family did every Thanksgiving and go around the room saying one thing each person was thankful for. Carole shouted no at that, very adamantly before stalking off into the dining room where most the women were. Kurt shrugged and suggested that maybe there were too many people. They settled the kids around the kitchen table, three card tables, the coffee table and at end tables around the living room, smooshed tight and even then they nearly didn’t have enough places to sit to eat. There was an argument over who would pray over the food, as some of the group didn’t think others of the group were quite the right type of Christians and therefore prayers they said wouldn’t count. Then there was a great deal of sneering because Kurt didn’t close his eyes during the prayer, or fold his arms or hands (Carole snapped at Kurt when Kurt pointed out that to see him without arms folded and eyes closed meant that the ones commenting didn’t have their eyes closed either…and apparently they were actually religious, so shouldn’t that be the greater sin…Burt was glad Kurt was far enough away that she couldn’t reach him.) Kurt ended up sitting at the table with the very little kids and making sure they ate and didn’t spill. He also had to listen to them call him names for telling them not to do things like throw food or hit other kids, because Finn wouldn’t let Kurt sit at the tables with the older kids. However that meant Kurt was close enough to hear all the homophobic talk and anti-intellectual talk and religion is everything talk at the adult table and close enough to hear Carole take credit for everything Kurt had made and done for the gathering. Burt tried to smile at Kurt and let him know he was sorry. Kurt just shrugged and shook his head sadly. Kurt sat through dinner and did as he was told. Kurt cleaned up. Kurt took out the trash. Kurt helped take down all the extra tables and chairs and Kurt moved them to the garage, one by one…only one of the younger boys helping because he thought it looked fun.

Kurt then washed up in the kitchen as all the adults and some of the other older kids sat in the living room and watched sports some more and chatted and joked around. Finn was supposed to help…Finn went back downstairs with the same four cousins as before. The dining room was pretty full. About half the kids were playing card games, and Carole chased Kurt out of there when she noticed him going to sit down. She instead sent him downstairs to set up movies for the little boys and girls who were in the television room and then upstairs to check babies. Then Kurt was the one to pass out desserts to everyone and keep the desserts flowing until they were all gone…along with the drinks.

The Drink situation was another whole issue altogether, and a huge one at that. The Hummel household did beer with the occasional glass of wine at certain holidays…glass being the key word. Burt came from a family where drunk people were not the best of souls to be around and people were drunk too often, Lizzie came from a family where drunk people were not the best of souls and people were drunk too often and Burt when he first started working at the garage dealt with a co-owner who was a drunkard and very nearly lost the other co-owner the whole place. When the man bought the original co-owner out after that man nearly ran someone over while driving under the influence, he made it a rule that garage worker gatherings stayed relatively sober and if they weren’t you stayed over someplace or got a cab home. Burt and his co-workers stuck to beer and never more than three a piece at all gatherings from then on….poker games, sports watching parties, wedding receptions, picnics and barbeques. Furthermore, Burt’s current medications made it so he couldn’t drink anything at the moment. Kurt, knowing that his dad would miss his beer during football games had gotten rid of what had been at the house (half a case of Buds…). Kurt even got rid of the cooking sherry and cooking wine. There was supposed to be NO ALCOHOL until after New Year’s AND his doctor said he could. Even certain cough medicines were supposed to be called in to see if he could take them. Carole knew this, they had discussed it at the wedding…which Burt got special permission to drink a small glass of champagne for a toast and then was regulated to sparkling ciders for the rest of the time. It was the reason Kurt had spent part of Tuesday picking up sparkling ciders in various flavors from all over town and finding the recipes for virgin drinks and picking up the mixes that could be made in non-alcoholic forms. Needless to say Burt was nearly as pissed off as Kurt was when Carole brought out boxed wines for dinner (not even good wines) and he was well aware that the only reason Carole didn’t get away with pouring him some after he said no was because Kurt had stood and headed for the drawer which held the papers which said he couldn’t have any and she knew Kurt was willing to read them aloud and cause a fuss. He was impressed Kurt hadn’t blown up as more and more alcohol appeared throughout the evening and Carole and her family started demanding Kurt make them mixed drinks and cocktails. There were different rums and vodkas and whiskeys and gin and sherry and more boxed wine and beers of all sorts and wine coolers and Burt seriously considered asking to see how much Carole had spent on alcohol alone. Kurt just informed Burt that if he ever got in trouble for it, they were all going down…and started videotaping Carole’s family members as they demanded their drinks and threatened to get him punished if he said no.

By the time the pies and cakes and cookies were gone, at which point most the adults were well past tipsy, talk had become very vulgar and nasty and degrading to most people…including homophobic slurs all over the place. Then Finn came up stairs and found out he and the cousins holed up in the bedroom only got one piece of pie a piece and one slice of cake a piece and one plate of cookies and the rest of the desserts were gone and he started screaming and yelling at Kurt until Burt, who was not drinking at all, stopped him and pointed out that they could have come up earlier for more dessert and that they had the same amount as the other kids downstairs and therefore no one was purposely picking on him. The Finn saw what Kurt was doing and tried to insist since Kurt was drinking…since anyone touching alcohol was of course drinking it any chance he got, Finn ought to be able to take some of the gin and whisky downstairs for him and his cousins. Burt was telling Finn no when the man who’d asked for the drink Kurt was mixing at the time decided Kurt had taken too long and he needed to be ‘taught a lesson’ in making people wait. Finn’s Uncle Randy was removed from Kurt, whose bruised arm was going to be even worse off than it already was, and Kurt was told to pack up the stuff for mixing drinks, he was done. Burt turned around just in time to relieve Finn of the bottles of whisky, vodka, and gin he was trying to take to the basement. As Finn stomped back downstairs hollering obscenities and Kurt and Burt removed all the stuff they used to mix drink and just left solo cups and the bottles of alcohol on the table Kurt had been stationed at, the adults in the living room got more and more…rude…over what they were watching, which switched over from sports to some sort of conspiracy theory religious based TV show and the kids playing cards got more and more wild. Burt realized the language and name calling the adults were doing was spilling over and the kids needed to be removed from the dining room and the adults bad examples…besides no kid need to see their Aunt Joy stripping or grandfather catcalling his own flesh and blood or their father running to the bathroom to puke. He set Kurt to carrying the garage poker table, which was bigger than the other card tables they had located, down to the basement and set all the card players up in the laundry area. Kurt brought down the dips that were left over and broke out from hiding more chips and a cooler of sodas. He checked on the kids watching movies and headed upstairs before Finn could complete his new rant to Burt about Kurt bugging him and the cousins he was hanging with. Burt noticed a din even louder than Finn from upstairs, though, so Finn was sent back to the basement still pouting.

Kurt had to tend to the babies because most of their parents were drunk and the two Mother’s that weren’t wouldn’t leave their poor dear sick husbands because they needed them more than their screaming children did. Burt was glad he’d taken on some responsibility for his son when he was a tiny baby because he was able to show Kurt how to change diapers on tiny tots and make up bottles and burp babies, since Kurt had never babysat anyone younger than about nine months before. Even their adventures with Robbie’s son at the garage didn’t start until the lad was about four months and could hold his head up. Several of the babies tucked up in the master bedroom were not even two months old yet. Several other were nearly three and Burt thought leaving them in the playpen and ignoring them for so long was nearly as criminal as leaving the infants alone for so long…but Carole insisted that was just the way they did it in the Hudson family. The baby din was so loud that Burt swore one could feel the sound and Kurt’s eyes were twitching. Kurt convinced his dad to lend Kurt his phone. Kurt set Burt’s phone to play kids songs. They had the din down to just those crying because they needed something like a bottle or diaper change. Kurt and Burt worked through those issues quickly and Burt left Kurt to entertain the little ones while he went down to see what had set the adult off into a louder hullabaloo. Burt turned the channel and put on a recorded game before fists started to fly. Burt went between the basement, master bedroom and living room making sure no one was hitting the point of distress that needed medical care. Kurt kept trying to get Burt to stay up and take care of the babies…constant climbing up and down stairs like he was was NOT good for Burt’s health, but Burt declined. He was the one listening to Finn as he tried to take over the entire basement for just him and the few cousins he was palling around with, after all, and Finn was somehow blaming Kurt for all the cousins having to be down there. By the time the recorded game was over, more than half the adults were passed out and empty bottles was scattered across the living room. One of Finn’s girl cousins had taken care of his behavior down stairs for Burt by threatening to tell her mom Finn wanted them to have to go outside in the dark and FREEZE to death just because Finn wanted to show the other big boys one of his games on a bigger screen and if she went and told her mom FINN wouldn’t be getting anything from any of their family for Christmas. With Finn pouting but settled, things in the basement started to settle as well.

Kurt and Burt and the very few adults not drunk helped find spare blankets and such to cover those who’d passed out in their chairs (including Carole, who Burt just left where she’d passed out - After all, all sort of babies were in the master bedroom). Kurt helped the girls turn the television room downstairs into a slumber party room and found them all movies to watch all night long. Kurt was the one to help Burt drive people back to hotel rooms and maneuver them into said rooms if they had them (and thankfully several families and each grandparent set had them…although they only left families at the hotels if an old enough child was there to watch younger ones or one of the family members wasn’t drunk. Families who did not meet that condition spent the night at the house.) Burt was the one who made Finn open the bedroom and turned it into sleep-over central for all the boys. Except Kurt. Finn refused. Burt removed Kurt’s phone, iPod and wallet before he left the room. Kurt ended up being the one to deal with the babies whose parents were passed out drunk throughout the night, anyways, so in the long run Finn’s fit didn’t matter. At the time, Burt was so annoyed with the whole lot of them that he basically ignored it and passed it off as Finn being overly sleepy and so irritated. He didn’t automatically bank the conversation as a problem they would need to deal with.


	4. Chapter 4

Needless to say that when it hit 1am and Kurt told Burt that he was going Black Friday shopping, even if he had to cart a baby or two with him, Burt not only told him yes and that he could leave as early as he wanted but gave him a credit card and simply asked he get Burt’s gifts to his sister and his aunts and uncles and cousins and maybe Finn’s gift and some of Carole’s gifts and to try to keep his personal spending on the card to one or two things per store and that he wasn’t even going to count any of what Kurt spent as allowance, which hadn’t gotten paid to the boy yet, so long as he only spent money for one or two items for himself per store, or had a good reason he went over that amount. Kurt’s smile was a bit diabolical and Burt briefly worried, but Kurt rarely took his ire out on his dad in the form of massive shopping his dad had to pay for…mostly because Burt hadn’t ever let him get away with that. Kurt managed to get all babies asleep before he left at 3:30 am. He told Burt to call him if he was needed, but only if the need was an emergency type. Kurt hugged his dad as he left and promised to bring home a treat. Burt sat in the chair in the bedroom and dozed where he would be able to hear babies but also where he could hear…hopefully…the sound of someone being spectacularly sick downstairs. He managed several hours of dozing before anyone even stirred. He woke to the smell of coffee. Kurt had set the coffee maker so it would start brewing at 9am, even as annoyed as his son was. Burt served coffee to those who woke for it…using that as a guide for who was still too drunk to function and who could now start heading out. He found boxes of doughnuts on the counter at 9am, as well…with a note saying Kurt was staying out a while and was going out farther than Lima.

Most of the relatives were gone by the time Kurt came home at noon. Kurt nodded to his dad as he pulled in and Burt tried hard not to flinch when Kurt pulled out four huge rubber totes that were very obviously heavy and put them in the garage, before starting on bags full of stuff, one after another, while singing at the top of his lungs. Burt was trying to get the few who hadn’t left settled in hotel rooms or situated with other family who lived nearby them driving instead of those still too woozy to do so, so he chose to just close his eyes and offer up a prayer he wouldn’t regret giving Kurt the card. He promised to have people from the garage drive vehicles home when no one was able to drive and didn’t want to stay somewhere and sober up. (Burt had Kurt call to the shop and ask Wade who needed the money most and wasn’t working a shift…he had no problems taking their pay from the household account if needed and making sure Carole replaced it.) The house was a disaster. Finn was sprawled on the couch moaning that no one had made him breakfast yet, even though Kurt could see the empty bowl on his tummy and several doughnut boxes that weren’t empty. Kurt snorted and told his dad he was keeping the card a bit longer. He offered to go buy him and his dad lunch. They ate while listing out what needed to be returned and moved that afternoon and what could be done later in the weekend. Finn whined that Kurt hadn’t bought him anything, and then screamed when he was asked to help clean up…even if that cleaning up was just picking up the bottles and plastic cups tossed around the living room. Kurt called Puck, who he figured could use the extra cash Kurt was willing to fork out for the help.

Instead of putting up the non-garland greenery around banisters and over the mantle and along the top of bookshelves like the Hummels usually did after Kurt got home from shopping on Black Friday and then wrapping gifts to be sent off, Kurt and Puck did all the getting things back to normal that afternoon while Finn went out to one of the football player’s houses and Carole slept off her hangover. Kurt made Puck a ‘leftover’ package and promised to bring by cookies and a pie in return for the help he gave, on top the fifty Kurt slipped him. Since Burt couldn’t lift and move furniture, he went to the basement to clean up the television room and at least do some tidying in the bedroom. Burt figured all was fine and the rest of the weekend would be fine, as long as Kurt didn’t see the state of the bedroom which was a type of mess Burt had NEVER seen before…not even with Mildred’s boys or his cousins when they were growing up. Burt’s form of tidying was to pile magazines and stuff like that into a stack and set it on Finn’s bed and pile the dirty laundry, including all blankets into the laundry room and put all old food and trash into the trash and take all the dishes upstairs. It took a couple of hours…and eight bags of trash from the bedroom that would have to be taken to the dump that he determined Finn would be paying for.

Finn lost it when he came home to the room not being the mess he’d left it and lit into Kurt, who didn’t know what Finn was hollering about. Kurt and Puck kept pointing out that Kurt had spent all afternoon taking furniture back to people they borrowed it from and had not been downstairs at all. Carole was woken by Finn and started yelling at Kurt for touching Finn’s stuff. Burt finally heard the commotion from the living room where he was removing the rest of the trash that Kurt and Puck hadn’t picked up while they were moving out the barrowed furniture. He informed everyone that he’d tidied the bedroom up a bit and if Finn was upset about something maybe he’d like to explain to Burt what was so wrong….to which Finn turned bright red and hightailed it down to the basement and slammed the bedroom door shut again…and refused to allow Kurt into the bedroom for the rest of the day. And Night. Kurt slept on the couch upstairs to keep himself far from the wrath of Finn.

Saturday Kurt spent washing and cleaning. Burt told him when he got up that he couldn’t take Kurt to their annual movie and Kurt couldn’t go on his own until the house was clean. Kurt shrugged and agreed but told his dad to pick four weekend chores for Kurt to do for weekend chore pay and the rest of the cleaning Kurt did that wasn’t the usual he was doing at extra chore prices. Burt looked at the living room again and ask for Kurt to do the deep cleaning of furniture and carpets as his weekend chores and he’d pay the rest at extra chore prices…but the deep cleaning had to involve steam cleaning as best as possible the sofas and chairs and told him Finn got extra chore pay for the chores he did since he wasn’t around when Burt was handing them out. Kurt agreed that that would work fine, with a snort and raised eyebrows. Finn was still refusing to help and refusing to let Kurt in the bedroom. Carole was still sick from the amount of alcohol she’d drunk with her family. Burt had to go to work. Finally, when Burt got home around three pm and found out Kurt had not been allowed to even get a change of clothing that day or use his bathroom to shower, Burt went and informed Carole that if Finn did not let Kurt into the bedroom, which they were supposed to be SHARING that Finn would be finding someplace else to sleep for the next two nights. Which led to the Finn Fit of how it wasn’t Kurt’s room it was Finn’s room because Kurt didn’t live there anymore and so didn’t need it and how it wasn’t fair that Finn had to allow Kurt in Finn’s room since Kurt didn’t really live there. He just wasn’t going to do so anymore…Kurt would just have to go stay at Dalton permanently until they had a new house, which he shouldn’t even get a say in since it wasn’t like Kurt really lived with them anymore and so he didn’t need anywhere that was his. Kurt quietly pointed out that he spent three nights at home and four nights away, which was as near to half as one could get in a seven day week and that it was Kurt’s bedroom and had been Kurt’s bedroom for over 7 years, two weeks of Finn sleeping in it did in no way make it Finn’s and if Finn was so delusional that he thought it did well then he was not only sadly mistaken but he was also slipping into insanity and perhaps needed locked up, which would solve the whole issue.

Finn started yelling, Carole started yelling and Burt watched a bit amused as Kurt went into the bedroom, grabbed a change of clothing and headed into the bathroom. He heard the shower turn on while Finn and Carole still yelled at Kurt for being so mean. Burt wasn’t even sure either had noticed Kurt wasn’t even in the room any longer. When Carole started yelling about how badly her head hurt and would everyone just stop yelling at her (Finn being the only one yelling), Burt just turned her around and sent her upstairs. Finn followed, complaining to his mother how Burt was being unfair and how much he deserved to have the room and how could she let Burt talk to him like he was (Burt hadn’t said anything other than to tell Carole to go get some pain meds and lay down if her head was aching that badly.). Burt followed trying to direct Finn to something other than yelling at or complaining to his mother who wasn’t feeling well. The rented steam carpet cleaner was standing by the front door, with a note saying Kurt had rented it for the whole weekend because he felt the downstairs might need the deep cleaning as well and he’d get that done at some point. The spills on the couches had been removed and furniture cleaned. The sofas and chairs Kurt had had to use the steam cleaner on had signs taped to them which Finn kept poking at. The carpet in the dining room had been cleaned, the chairs all sitting on top the table as it dried. The kitchen was clean and the bathroom was spotless and no longer smelled. A note was left on the counter that said Kurt had taken all the extra trash except that which Burt pulled up from the bedroom that he was going to have Finn take and pay for, to the dump and that Kurt didn’t need repaid, even though Kurt had had to do so in clothing he’d been wearing for two days.

Really, Kurt’s prompt removal of all Finn’s stuff from the bedroom into the television room (including Finn’s TV and gaming systems), and Kurt’s removal of the television and game systems and satellite box and video machines and all the movies, books, throw pillows and extra blankets, and games from the television room to his room while they were upstairs was not at all unexpected. It was a bit surprising how quickly Kurt could strip a room of a huge amount of stuff, but the action was not surprising. Nor was Kurt telling Finn he could sleep on the couch and use the bathroom upstairs until they had a new house unexpected. (A bit ridiculous, Kurt wasn’t going to be there for a bit of that time and really, it could be months.) It was unexpected when Burt could not locate any of what was removed from the television room when Kurt went back to Dalton on Monday (nor could he find any of what Kurt had unloaded on Friday after shopping.). Kurt was the one who wouldn’t leave the room for the rest of Saturday and all of Sunday. Well, he left the room on Sunday morning to send Finn upstairs and quickly steam clean the carpets downstairs and then to ask Burt if he wanted Kurt to bake up a few batches of cookies so Burt would have them at the garage like they always had out during December, but Burt told him that Robbie’s wife was doing the cookies for the garage that year and Kurt made a bit of a strangled noise, slammed the bedroom door shut and then didn’t come out for the rest of the day except the half hour it took for Kurt to return the rented machine. Finn spent the day complaining that Burt was watching the television and wasn’t watching anything good and that there wasn’t anything good to eat because he didn’t want left overs (to which Kurt did pop up and yell at Finn since Finn’s snack bags each had a family sized bag of chips, a six pack of soda, two large bags of beef jerky, a bag of cookies, a box each of fruit snacks and granola bars, and large bag of trail mix and if Finn was finished with both sacks he could just starve because going through that much junk food was ridiculous.) Finn also whined that he needed money so Burt should just give him some, then he could go out and buy the new video game he wanted. Burt asked which chores Finn had done and Finn had laughed and told Burt he wasn’t a slave so didn’t do any, Kurt telling him to do some didn’t matter because his mom wouldn’t make him and so he didn’t have to, Kurt could do it all. Burt then watched as Finn stormed about when Burt told him without doing those chores he wasn’t getting the pay for them. Then Finn asked if he need to give the shopping list for the gifts for his friends to Burt or to his mom and should he put Rachel on the list or buy Rachel’s gift himself and how much would Burt hand over for that gift anyway….and Burt asked the boy why he thought someone other than Finn was buying gifts for Finn’s friends, he had an allowance, he should use it.

Burt rolled his eyes while Finn got mad and started whining about how he shouldn’t be expected to buy gifts for his friends, that was what parents were for. In fact, they should give him double the allowance he was getting at the time since there were double the parents in the house and both should give him money. He almost considered telling Kurt that he should come up and bake because then Finn might stop whining about things…but Finn also might not stop and Kurt and Finn and finances would not be a pretty picture, especially since Kurt only got an allowance if his chores were consistently done, rarely did his dad hand over money just because and his other pay came from working at the shop…and Burt had never bought gifts that were from Kurt to others since Kurt was three. Even back then, he earned his money and bought gifts for others. Granted that year Burt got Chap Stick and lotion since it was very dry at the garage and a box of chocolate cherries, but still. That night at dinner, Kurt lit a candle and hummed the little tune his mom had found and taught him ages ago about advent and then handed his dad his Christmas list and asked if Burt wanted his letter to Santa that night or the next Sunday. Carole asked why Burt still got a Christmas Wish list from Kurt, after all he was a teen and why didn’t Burt just ask, but before Burt had a chance to answer Finn snagged the list.

“There’s like nothing good on here!” Finn shouted. “Like dude…it’s Christmas. Where are the new TV and Xbox and stuff? Seriously, you listed ‘a new shirt, please no red plaid’ and the name of a cd and a new board game, with some names listed to the side and the names of some movies. This is a crap list.”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “If I want something big…like an Xbox…I’ll buy myself an Xbox with money I’ve earned. I don’t need my parent to buy it for me for Christmas.”

“What about Santa?” Finn said.

“My list to Santa is always even simpler than that. I write which books I would like so Santa knows which book to bring, and what color my coat is so Santa can give me gloves and a hat or scarf. I note if I’d like some sort of card game or dice game.”

“But, that’s stupid. Santa is like there solely to bring you the awesome stuff you can brag to everyone about when you get back to school. I’m asking Santa for a new truck and I know it will be there for me.”

Kurt just shook his head. “Finn, you ran over someone. My dad is NOT going to get you a new truck…and he certainly isn’t going to help you with insurance or anything like that. Do you even have a license? If you do, did you LIE to get it because there is NO way you should have got one. Besides, Only if you are the kind of person who likes to make others feel bad and who only thinks about popularity and is a braggart is Santa there for that. Some of us, even as unreligious as we are, remember that Santa wasn’t always all about the big money items and that for millions of kids around the world Santa can’t be about those big money items and we choose to honor others by not being nasty.”

Burt knew when Kurt changed his Christmas gift ideas…it was when they helped provide Christmas for a family in need through the garage the first time back when Kurt was in Kindergarten. Lizzie had explained that sometimes families had a hard time getting things for Christmas and people had to help. That same year Kurt sat next to a boy on the bus right after Christmas and when Kurt asked him what Santa brought for Christmas he answered a coat and boots and a hat and gloves. Kurt answered he got a stuffed bear and the Mouse Trap game and some legos. The boy answered that he would have loved a toy or two but Santa probably knew he didn’t have a coat so gave him that instead. Kurt had gone home and cried to Lizzie about how it wasn’t fair he got good stuff and some kids didn’t. The next Christmas Lizzie took Kurt to the angel tree at the mall and they bought a few presents for that and then she took him to the local food bank and they had a tour and she helped Kurt learn about how to donate and help there.

“I’m putting up the tin in the shop tomorrow and I’ll have Hank send out texts to our frequent costumers that it is there. Did you want to set out a box like last year?” Burt asked.

Kurt beamed. “Could we do two? One for new unwrapped toys and one for used or new coats?”

“Why?” Carole asked. “Don’t you think that makes you look…well…pushy or like you are lecturing people?”

“You know, we usually have a food drive in November. For various reasons we didn’t get the box up for the canned food this year. Guess what? Hank took over 100 cans to the foodbank last week. People who want to HELP others like an opportunity to do so that they know is neutral.” Kurt said.

“Well, I think it gives the wrong impression and I don’t think we should do that anymore.” Carole said. “I think it makes it look like you are trying to take over things that are done most often through churches or at stores themselves. I think it makes people think you think you are better than them.”

“If I stopped,” Burt said. “I’d have most my workers walk out. People ask when we don’t do it, Carole. If I don’t put boxes out, one of the other men will. Finn, please give me Kurt’s list back.”

Finn balled it up and threw the list to Burt. “I’m not writing you one. But I want a new Xbox and at least six games for it and I want Santa to bring me the new PlayStation. And I want a new iPod, one of the ones with lots of space and I want a new TV and I want a new computer with a fast internet connection and a tablet and a laptop and I want a new truck and I want…” Finn said.

“Your mom just bought you a TV and you have a new Xbox that I’m not sure what it was for but it is new and your iPod was for your birthday, so it is new. You have a working computer which is fast enough to game on without a problem and you broke the laptop you got for your birthday within two months. I don’t think a laptop is coming your way anytime soon after that.”

“But…” Finn started before Carole cut him off to ask if anyone wanted seconds.

“And we will be discussing this whole hit a person with a car and the whole driving thing…does he even have a license, Carole?”

“I don’t think…” Carole started, but didn’t finish saying anything when Burt glared at her.

The discussion turned to sports for the rest of dinner and Kurt disappeared back into the bedroom. Finn whined about everything for the rest of the night and Carole let him to avoid speaking about driving issues.


	5. Chapter 5

Kurt told Burt as he left Monday morning that he would be home that weekend on Friday evening and to remember he only had the next two weeks of school before his winter break started…and he would be in his room all of his vacation. Finn could share it with him, Kurt was willing to have the room shared, but he would be in his room until they had a new place. Kurt reminded Burt that Kurt wasn’t boarding after school started up again, either. They couldn’t afford it and the only reason he was able to at the moment was because the boy whose space he was taking up had been in Africa with his family until January and he needed to be on campus to fit in the early morning classes he had had to complete. Next semester his earliest class would be 8:30 am, not 6am…like it was currently. Burt was aware he heard Kurt…he remembered thinking that he’d have to speak to Finn about it, but it had been 4 in the morning, so by the time Finn got up and they managed to get him out the door…Burt had pushed the conversation with Kurt aside, for the most part…or at least the talking to Finn part.

Burt made the appointment to seriously start looking for a house Monday morning as soon as he got to work. He didn’t regret his haste in doing so either. He came home to find that Kurt had padlocked his closet shut after removing all Finn’s stuff from it into a pile on Finn’s bed, removed his computer (which Finn couldn’t get on anyway because Kurt had it password protected and that had been a constant fight since Kurt started at Dalton in the first place) and stereo system, and removed all the nice towels and all his bedding. Burt assumed at least the towels and bedding were in the closet, although he wasn’t certain the missing electronics were. Burt heard about the missing items all week long. He wasn’t sure why, Finn didn’t use most of them. Burt figured it was probably just the fact that Kurt removed the items that irritated Finn so much. Burt went out during his lunch break to see houses with the realtor. He wasn’t making any progress.

When Kurt came home that weekend…with stacks of books and papers that were nearly taller than he was…Burt asked about the electronics and all Kurt did was laugh. Then he locked himself in the bedroom, tossing Finn’s stuff back out. When Burt called him on it Kurt had laid it out for him very blatantly. Kurt had to take the semester finals at Dalton, even though he had been at the school for less than 4 weeks. Kurt was taking the classes he ought to have been taking as a first semester junior, and had an hour long extra class for catch-up in those where he had to complete every assignment the classes had done before he transferred in. He had four extra classes that Dalton kids HAD to take as freshman or sophomores that he was also taking which had to be completed…every bit that he’d missed. And Dalton students didn’t just have six or seven classes to start off with, they had between eight and twelve…in a system more like a university or foreign school than like McKinley. Kurt had to get at the very least a B- in everything to keep on the Warblers as a new transfer student, even though students who were not new to the group only had to maintain a C in all their classes. Dalton taught at a MUCH higher level than anywhere in Lima ever even dreamed of…including the campus. Finn’s behavior the week before lost him several days of studying that Kurt hadn’t been able to afford and put him behind. Kurt promised to show up for meals and do his chores at some point, even a weekend chore or two, and that the electronics were all safe and sound and could come back when Kurt was home.

Finn tossed a tantrum, Carole and Burt fought about certain children’s attitudes…Carole complaining about Kurt and Burt complaining about Finn. Kurt came out for meals, in fact Kurt cooked all three nights, and Kurt’s chores were finished by the time Burt checked at 10pm each night. Kurt even managed to clean out the refrigerator again and do a deep cleaning of the basement area (vacuuming and spot cleaning carpets that was missed the weekend before because of inability to move furniture or get access to rooms, making sure everything that was still out was put away, pulling out chairs and the couch and vacuuming behind those, cleaning the seating, dusting and wiping down shelves and other things). Burt was given a list of damages to shelves, walls, end tables, the sofa and chairs, carpets and other things that happened that Kurt didn’t know about and that weren’t there when he cleaned pre-thanksgiving Sunday night. Kurt noted that they could have been there when he quick steamed the carpet downstairs, as he’d done that in a hurry and hadn’t made notes of anything. Finn laughed about the list and basically said ‘so what’ when Burt questioned him and Carole got upset with Burt again when he said that Finn had better figure out some way to fix the damages. Kurt changed out the china in the cabinet in the dining room so that the Christmas China was on top and in front and set up the small nativity and few porcelain houses and people they had on the bottom shelf. The stuffed snowmen graced the fireplace mantle before the weekend was over. Sunday, Kurt handed his dad a stack of cards and the Christmas Newsletter printouts and reminded him to sign them and mail them out by the Next Wednesday. Kurt also popped his Advent Chocolate in his mouth in front of Finn every morning at breakfast and refused to share the Christmas Cookies he had baked at three in the morning Friday night. Finn yelled and whined and Carole responded by telling Burt that Finn needed to be able to use the upstairs TV to make him feel better…gaming with some of his friends. She removed the snowman from the mantle and threw them in the closet when he said that Finn would watch TV on his TV down stairs and he wasn’t having guys over until Finn did his homework, which he knew he hadn’t because he bragged to Kurt that he wasn’t stupid enough to do his homework all weekend like Kurt was. Finn took off on Saturday and Carole didn’t even know where he went and didn’t come in until almost 2am. Burt called Carole and Finn on that, since Finn made so much noise coming home he woke Burt and Kurt. Finn whined and Carole took him out to the movies Sunday afternoon. Burt rolled his eyes and settled into his chair to watch the shows he liked.

Needless to say, Carole joined Burt in house hunting on Monday, agreeing to two hours an afternoon until they found something they could agree on. It took until Thursday to find one. It wasn’t happening soon enough, in Burt’s opinion. But at least it was happening and neither Finn nor Kurt got to help pick, which would save some fighting. Each boy would have their own bedroom and bathroom, there would be two guest rooms and there was not only a living room, but a den and family room and a bonus room…so Kurt’s stuff didn’t have to mix with Finn’s much. The master bedroom was NOT on the same floor as the other bedrooms and had an office attached to it. There was a large dining room and room off the kitchen that could fit a kitchen table so they could eat less formally. The kitchen was large and had a huge island that people could sit and eat at as well and had a pantry upstairs. The basement wasn’t finished, but was blocked out for three more rooms. The parts finished were the laundry room and the cold storage area, the utility room and a rec room. It had a detached three car garage that Burt could turn into a shop. It would be great for them. However, they ended up not being able to get into a new house until the third or fourth week in January. The family selling it wasn’t moving out until after Christmas and then there were things that needed done before they could move in. Which meant Burt had no reason to not allow Finn’s and Carole’s Third Annual Hudson Lights party on Saturday.

And maybe if finals week hadn’t been so stressful for Kurt, 15 classes worth tests or presentations in 4 days Burt found out later, and if Kurt hadn’t come home on Friday morning to then do a full day of charity work at the garage so that Tad Williams’ minivan would be fixed in less than 24 hours, (Tad had shown Kurt how to change the belts in Ford trucks when Kurt was a younger teen and didn’t even mind when all Kurt talked about was musicals, even though Tad himself had never heard of any of them. Kurt had admired than man since then, even when Tad stopped working at the shop and went to work mechanics at the John Deere place on the other side of town.), since Tad’s wife was due with kid four three days prior and that minivan was their only vehicle, Kurt would have managed not to blow up for the whole of Saturday and kept his temper in check like he’d managed at Thanksgiving. However, the circumstances leading to Kurt’s explosion were indeed in place.

When Kurt had gotten into town at 10am Friday and stopped at the shop, he’d looked wiped out and Burt was seriously worried about his health at the point. However when Kurt found out about Tad’s situation, Kurt had taken on the job and refused the pay (which he knew would make Christmas near impossible for the family). It had unfortunately taken him until 2am to finish since had to drive around hunting down the parts needed and then fix the vehicle. Kurt nearly logged more time calling around to find parts and then driving from place to place picking up parts than he’d logged driving to and fro from Dalton. Burt knew he and the others would never have managed to get the van done that day…it would have taken them a full week. But Kurt had had it finished and delivered to Tad’s house so it was there when Tad woke and they had it ready to go when Tad’s wife went into labor Saturday night near midnight.


	6. Chapter 6

What it all boiled down to though was that on Saturday, Kurt was working on about four hours of sleep when the guys that Carole and Finn had invited to the Third Annual Hudson Lights Party showed up at 7am, ready to be fed breakfast before starting to work. Kurt had been sleeping on the living room couch because Finn had locked the bedroom and Kurt at nearly 3am didn’t want to cause a huge fuss. Finn wasn’t even awake yet to greet his friends, so Carole made Kurt act as host and make breakfast. In the first twenty minutes, the boys had knocked a coffee onto one of Kurt’s bags (‘It was just the bag that holds my shower caddy and face scrubs and lotions and stuff like that, Dad. It is dark and won’t show the stain and everything in there can be wiped down or replaced easily. I even have an extra hairbrush and toothbrush here at the house anyway…I am sorry about the carpet though. I think maybe steam cleaning it might work…’), tipped over the box that contained all Kurt’s desk belongings from Dalton and then didn’t pick it up so the pens and pencils ended up kicked from one end of the house to the other, and decided to go through Kurt’s suitcases and make fun of his choice in underwear and his uniforms and his pajamas and his regular clothing (and got upset when Burt finally got the laptop and the books from the box picked up while Kurt picked the papers that were spread all over like they’d actually been picked up and tossed and told them to stop with the teasing). Puck and Sam showing up at that point helped corral the worst of the lot and Kurt took off to take his stuff out of the living room (three trips putting it back out into his SUV, which he then locked), even though Carole was upset with him for leaving the boys and not being a good host. He didn’t even stay outside, but came back in and got the guys all sitting down and engaged in the TV and watching cartoons before he even was able to get dressed in clean clothing and do any sort of morning activities, like brush his teeth and hair or use the toilet. Still, Breakfast was served at 8am and Finn decided to make his appearance finally.

Kurt didn’t lose his cool at breakfast. He didn’t respond in any way other than to move when one of Finn’s football buddies pushed him out of the chair he’d sat down in. He didn’t do anything other than get himself a new plate when Football Nelson took his plate (football Nelson had already eaten a full plate of his own). Kurt didn’t even answer in anyway other than calmly when Finn noticed him there and questioned his presence, while stuffing food Kurt had made into his mouth. Even Burt was getting ready to lose it then. It didn’t help that Carole had decided to make herself champagne and Orange Juice to go with her pancakes and omelet.

(“Mom, what’s he doing here?” Finn whined, with his mouth full.

“Don’t speak with your mouth full, honestly! I live here, Finn.” Kurt replied, rolling his eyes.

“No, you don’t. You live at Dalton.”

“No, I boarded at Dalton, and I don’t anymore. My vacation started yesterday. I don’t go back to school until the 10th of January. And even then, I’m driving back and forth next semester. I live here.” Kurt explained slowly, like he was talking to a small child.

“Mom! He can’t be here, he doesn’t live here! And if he doesn’t have to go to school, I don’t either.” Finn hollered. Other people at the table looked at him trying to figure out what he was talking about.

“Finn, your school doesn’t start break until the 22nd, you have to go and if you don’t go you will not get any Christmas presents!” Burt told him.

“You can’t say that. Mom, tell Burt he can’t say that!”

“Finn, dear, Kurt will be working, won’t he Burt.” Carole said. “I’m sure Kurt will be working every day you have to be at school, because it wouldn’t be really fair if Kurt had so much free time when you didn’t.”

“We’ll talk about it later, Carole.” Burt said. “However, it is not Kurt’s fault his school gets out for vacation earlier than Finn’s.”

Kurt shrugged. “I guess I could finish up the other things that need to be done while at the shop. I don’t mind. But I won’t work if it will effect anyone else’s hours negatively or if my time will be a problem since I wasn’t scheduled in. I also have to finish the supplemental courses that I started in August, so it’s not like I’d be bored if I can’t work. Not to mention the all rest of the things that need to be done for the holiday season.”

“You’ll work for free, of course.” Carole said.

“Can’t. I’m a certified worker. And Union. I have to be clocked in and out and the taxes have to be done properly.” Kurt said. “Dad has a bit of leeway, because it is a family business, but not much due to union issues. However me being certified was way better than me not being certified.”

They all ignored Carole’s glass slamming against the counter and her plate being pushed away as she exited the room, supposedly to get the boxes they would need. The boxes had been sitting in the corner of the dining room for three days already.)

Kurt didn’t respond with anything more than a whined ‘Dad!’ when Finn said not only were they only using Hudson lights and decorations but Kurt wasn’t invited and couldn’t help after Kurt asked if he needed to get the boxes of lights and outdoor items from the shed. And Kurt didn’t lose it when Carole told him to wash all the dishes and then make sure the bathroom was clean enough for their company. Kurt did mutter about how the boys were used to using the restrooms and locker rooms at the high school, of course a bathroom without crap smeared on half the surfaces was clean enough, but he didn’t yell or scream or even refuse. He cleaned up and checked out everything, even doing a quick clean of the bathroom.

The dark circles under Kurt’s eyes and his stance, which was not his normal good posture but more an exhausted sag, had Burt sending Kurt up to the master bedroom to catch some more sleep as soon as he heard Finn telling a few boys who didn’t want to actually go outside to go to the bedroom downstairs and play video games on Finn’s TV. Carole got upset –she didn’t want Kurt in their bedroom snooping about- but Burt asked if she was going to have Kurt help with the lights after all and she backed down and went back to her doctored orange juice and watching TV on the small TV in the kitchen that had come to the house with the Hudsons. When Burt looked in on him at 9:30, less than ten minutes after he sent him up, his boy was sound asleep.

By 10am, only an hour after the start of ‘putting up the lights, Hudson style’, Burt should have questioned things. In that hour six packing boxes, the square ones labeled books, stuffed full of strings of lights had been dumped out on the Hummel’s front lawn…in the snow. In little squares were piles of lights in a tangled mess. Personally Burt couldn’t figure out why the lights were outside in the first place but it was apparently a Hudson thing. The boys were supposed to untangle them and see which worked and which didn’t. No one was doing so; they were running around pushing each other on the ice and into the snow. It wasn’t until Carole came out and shouted about finding the power strips that anyone looked at the tangled masses of lights after they dumped them out. She handed them off to one of the football players and Burt went over to look at what Puck and Artie were doing…which was laying out huge inflatables along the front of the yard. Burt could only be glad Kurt wasn’t seeing those yet. Burt turned around just in time to see the football player who’d been given the power strips kick snow at one of the other boys, right onto the power strips which were plugged into the socket that had been covered by duct tape so it couldn’t be used. The socket directly hooked into the inside electric system. Not one of the well-grounded sockets that were not covered by duct tape which were all on their own breakers and system, one designed for outside electric use and one which did not short out things in the house…of which the kid had ten options…one less than a foot away. 

The snow getting into the ‘not for outdoor use’ power strip popped the fuse and Burt watched the lights in the dining room all go out. He heard the alarms on the smoke detector and carbon monoxide detector start up. He heard Carole yelling about how to make the noise stop. He saw Kurt at the window glaring down at the boys in the yard who were still pushing each other around and kicking snow at each other for the most part. Kurt left the window and a few moments later the noise stopped and the lights came back on. Kurt then marched out of the house, no shoes on, and removed the power strip and then replaced the duct tape.

“Everybody look at me NOW!” Kurt shouted in a louder voice than Burt was aware his son owned. He sounded a bit like that batty cheerleading coach, which was probably where he learned how to do the voice.

All the boys looked his direction.

“Listen up, you imbeciles. You can plug things into outlets…the little holes that you put the end of the cord into…that have no tape over the covers. Tape….no pluggy. No tape…yes pluggy. Oh, and remember electricity and water are not happy together…together they can make owies.” Kurt said with a smile…of a sort. Half the boys still looked confused.

“Dude. There’s no water around here. It’s winter.” One of Finn’s football friends said.

“Snow is like water, Randy.” Puck yelled.

“No it isn’t.” Someone else yelled. 7uyi8

The whole lot started screaming and yelling at each other about it…and Burt was terribly disappointed that Finn was on the snow wasn’t water, not really, side of the mess. Kurt just rubbed the bridge of his nose and went back into the house, shaking his head.

Puck and Mike, after watching the piles of lights nearly get stepped on twice and having close calls themselves in the shoving matches going on in the yard, took Artie to the living room where they got started untangling the lights that Puck had also fetched from the front yard. It was not going well…and everything was damp because the lights had all been covered in snow. Sam came and joined them, nursing a slightly black eye. Burt brought him an ice pack and told Puck that maybe if he plugged an end in he could at least see which lights went to that strand. They had only managed to free three strands of lights by the time 11:30 rolled around and Finn and the crowd came in demanding lunch. Nothing had really been accomplished outside that Burt could see. Burt watched as Carole put the sandwich supplies out and then got everyone mad at him when he kept the hoard from eating until Puck, Artie, Sam and Mike had got their food. By the time the sandwich supplies had been devoured and nothing but empty plates were left, Puck and the other Glee club boys (minus Finn) had freed four more stands of lights that worked and three that did not work. 


	7. Chapter 7

Burt realized when looking at the empty plates he had not saved any lunch for Kurt and he’d better go upstairs pretty soon and make sure his boy wasn’t actually sick, since even when exhausted Kurt usually didn’t sleep so long during the daytime. Carole stacked the dishes that needed cleaned to the side of the sink and fixed herself another doctored orange juice, this time with a lot less juice, and moved to the living room with a magazine and her laptop. He got sidetracked by Finn and some of the football players fighting in the dining room over who was going to climb on the ladder to hang the lights, to the point of pushing each other into things. The rattling of the glass in the front of the china cabinet demanded interference.

“If anyone breaks something in there I will be collecting the cost of replacement from your hides in the form of free labor OR reporting the destruction of property to the cops.” Burt finally yelled after telling them to stop with the fighting over twenty times. He later considered that might have been a perfect time to have halted the gathering and sent everyone home and thus they would have avoided Kurt’s epic take-down. But, he got further sidetracked by arguing with Carole about rough housing inside and how Finn and his friends should never have to pay to replace anything they broke…and the ‘fairness’ of it all. Burt noticed the bottle on the counter wasn’t the champagne bottle any longer and was instead Gin. With all the shouting and yelling from the hoard of teen boys, he wasn’t sure he blamed her.

The first indication that Kurt was awake was when Burt heard a screech from the master bedroom. He looked around and noticed the boys were outside again, for the most part. Artie and Mike were still trying to untangle lights and that small group of boys who hadn’t been doing anything other than playing video games since they got to the house was still at it. Burt ran to the door and opened it in time to hear Kurt’s voice from the window.

“Finn Hudson, so help me if you lean that ladder against the WINDOW I will come down there and do something about it. In case you are too stupid to understand, windows are glass…you cannot lean the top of a ladder against glass, it is likely to break!”

Finn moved the ladder and leaned it so the top was against the actual house. Burt groaned, of course the kid couldn’t actually use the ladder tall enough to actually get onto the roof. He was about to go out to the garage to get the taller ladder when he heard Kurt voice again.

“If you hammer in another nail where you are currently trying to hammer in nails,” Kurt yelled. “I will make you replace all the rain gutters around the house. All of them, Finn. I will make you pay for them. Gutters are not cheap, Finn. You put another hole in one and you will be bloody sorry. One hole I can patch, more is replacement! Use your freaking brain for once! Why do you have a hammer in the first place?”

“I can hammer nails into the house if I want!” Finn yelled back.

“No, you cannot and that isn’t the house! That is the rain gutter….it is NOT supposed to have holes in it!”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about. I always nailed holes at our house.”

“IF you had a rain gutter I bet it leaked! IF it worked at all because I bet you never even ever cleaned it out since you don’t freaking know what a rain gutter is, apparently! Do not put nails in my house and definitely do not put them in MY rain gutters.”

“It isn’t your house. It is Burt’s and mom’s house.” Finn said.

“You still haven’t explained why you even have a freaking hammer! And it is as much MY house as anyone’s.”

“Finn! Do not put nails in the gutter!” Burt yelled from the ground. “Who gave you that hammer anyway? I don’t recall anyone asking about using tools.”

“We have to hammer up nails so we can hang the lights,” Finn said. “I shouldn’t have to ask to use tools if I don’t want to!”

“And I told you three weeks ago that you have to ask before using tools after you put the hammer through the wall because you didn’t know how to hang up anything inside the house properly. That has not changed!”

“He put a hole in the wall? Where?” yelled Kurt.

“I patched it and painted it, Kurt. It is fine now.” Burt called back. He could head Kurt still muttering about it even as Finn brought the attention back to Finn.

“But how are we going to hang up the lights?” Finn whined.

“Use the clips…you know that baggy with all those white plastic bits that your lights came with…the one sitting on my living room floor! Surely one of those around here knows what those are and how to use them!” Kurt yelled.

Sam waved his hand and Puck went and brought the baggy to the ladder. After a few moments of pushing and shoving because Finn didn’t want to get off the ladder (it was his house, after all) and Sam couldn’t seem to explain how to clip the slips onto the gutter well enough for Finn to be able to accomplish that task, and Puck wouldn’t let Finn hold the baggy after dropping it twice Burt sent the boys onto the roof with a stern warning to be careful and not goof off. He heard them fighting still even as they moved towards the porch roof and the tall bushes that flanked the porch. He then went to stop a fight over whether an inflatable penguin should be by an inflatable polar bear because the polar bear would try to eat it that had turned to a pushing fest and was sounding close to a punching fest.

Burt had just managed to stop the fight over the polar bear and penguin inflatables, and was going to move over and halt the argument over if Santa in the Outhouse could be by The Nativity without causing God anguish when he heard two shouts.

He turned to look at the shouts in time to see a truly terrifying sight.

Kurt was slamming open the front door with a look of fury on his face that Burt had never seen before. His eyes were fiery and even his hair seemed to stand on end. His face was grim and set and Burt knew he should head off what was to come but he couldn’t seem to make himself move.

“Finn Hudson,” Kurt shouted more calmly than Burt thought he was going to given his look. “If you are not on this ground in 1 minute, I will come up there and remove you from the roof myself. YOU will get down here and then march your imbecilic sorry excuse of an ass into the dining room where you will sit in a chair quietly and do nothing but THINK of HOW UTTERLY STUPID what you just did was. If you do not do so, I will call the police and have you arrested for assault.”

Finn looked over the eve and sneered at Kurt. “You can’t do that. My mom won’t let you.”

“I no longer give a flying FUCK what your mom will and will not let me do today, Finn. YOU FUCKING PUSHED TWO PEOPLE OFF THE ROOF! What the HELL is wrong with you?” Kurt screamed. “I am counting!”

“They wouldn’t let me do it my way!” Finn shouted back.

“One.” Kurt spat out.

“Burt, tell him he can’t boss me around like that!”

“Two.” Kurt continued.

“Finn, I happen agree with Kurt. Get down here now.” Burt said.

“Three.”

“You can’t make me. I’m going to tell my mom.”

“Four.” Kurt growled, starting to head towards the ladder.

Finn must have decided that either he couldn’t tell Carole from on top of the roof or that Kurt was serious about removing him from it because he was to the ladder by the time Kurt yelled five and down it by six and into the kitchen by seven.

Burt went over to the two boys who Finn had pushed off to make sure they were all right.

As Puck pointed out, both had landed in the bush so the fall wasn’t much and they climbed from the bush onto the porch. They had some scratches but nothing bad.

All the football players stopped arguing over the inflatable placement and started stringing the lights that were available on the bushes and trees…very quietly.

Burt, Sam and Puck went into the house, where Artie and Mike were staring towards the dining room with a look akin to terror.

“Mo..” Finn started to speak.

“Shut Up!” Kurt yelled at him, his hands on his hips and his lips pressed together and his glare hard enough to make Puck go ‘eeepp’.

“Bu…”

“Shut Up!”

“You Can’t…”

“What part about sit quietly are you too stupid to understand?”

“Mo…”

“Oh God. Fine, you cannot sit quietly and think about how stupid what you did was? I will spell it out for you.” Kurt shouted.

Finn opened his mouth but Kurt just continued on.

“You pushed two people off a roof, Finn. Two people who are supposed to be your friends. You could have KILLED them. My dad’s heart cannot handle manslaughter committed at his home! Nor can we afford a wrongful death suit, which both sets of parents rightfully would have been entitled to bring about because you are a complete and utter imbecile. Never in my whole life have I seen someone act as thoughtlessly and irresponsibly as you. And the rest of this lot is not much better. You’ve been at this farce of a lighting party for over six fucking hours and NOTHING has been done, because you are all too lazy and stupid to do anything and have the attention spans of drunk ants. All you have done is eat and fight. Sam has a black eye. You nearly killed each other pushing each other around on the ice outside. Mike avoided being hit by a truck when Football Nelson pushed him into the street only because he is agile and aware of his surroundings! You fucking nearly put the ladder through the window. You pushed people off a ROOF! For the Third Annual Hudson Lights Party you all are FAILURES! How did you ever get anything done in the years before?”

“Umm, Carole took whoever was injured to the ER and we decorated the bushes and trees.” Puck said.

“And then when she was taking the next trip to the ER we set up the inflatables,” Mike added from the living room.

Kurt turned to Carole and Burt was nearly certain Kurt was going to explode. His eyes were twitching and his entire body seemed to vibrate with fury. He put on a smile that would have scared every villain in any movie Burt had ever seen.

“You have taken kids to the ER during one of these ‘parties’ and are doing this again?” Kurt asked very coldly.

“This is the first one no one has been taken to the ER yet.” Puck piped up. “Last year Roberts slipped on the railing by their front door and fell, spraining his ankle at about 9am and then Finn got into an argument with Adams and missed and punched the glass in the screen door instead. She had to take him to get stitches not more than fifteen minutes after she got back from taking Roberts. They got home around two or three. We covered all the other cuts and stuff while she was out with the ER kids. Mike is really good at putting on ace bandages and telling if something is broke or not.”

“The first year was the year Finn and Nelson fought and fell into the street and both cracked their heads on the curb and they had to call an ambulance. Carole patched the hands of Rupert and Johnson, and put a bag of frozen peas on Lewis’ black eye after she got home with Finn and Nelson. Then she had to take Peter Mars and Finn in after they fell over the couch while fighting over the remote when we went to watch a movie. Finn only sprained his wrist but Mars’ hand was broken.” Artie said. “It was all anyone could talk about for almost a week.”

“You have got to be kidding me.” Kurt said. “So much for a responsible adult.”

“Now Kurt,” Burt said. “Carole is your step-mother and you cannot speak to her that way.”

“Carole has not done one damn thing to help this morning while you have been running all over trying to keep these complete idiots from permanently damaging themselves…even though you should not be doing so because YOU are the one who was recently in the hospital and are supposed to be still TAKING IT EASY! I have the paper work that SAYS so!”

“Kurt, boys will be boys. You just don’t understand.” Carole said.

Burt winced. Kurt did not deal well with the whole boys will be boys thing.

“Well, I supposed useless mothers all over the world who can’t be bothered with their offspring and teaching them to be decent human beings would agree with you. MY mother taught me differently. Enjoy your boy when he is behind bars for his idiotic behavior which you refused to call him on… because he killed someone or harmed someone important so badly that the cops were called in. Or over stepped with a girl. Or got someone pregnant. Or ran someone over and hurt them enough to be arrested for it and momma wasn’t there to talk the cops called out of hauling him off. Or drank himself silly and got caught showing his willy to the young girls in the neighborhood. Or drank and then decided to get behind the wheel of a car and ran into another car, killing a whole family in one fell swoop, and setting others into the hospital where they DIED too. After all…boys will be boys will only get you so far in front of most judges. Meanwhile…Men will be taking over this shindig. The men of this household will have the lights up in two hours, at most. By the way, my bedroom had better be clear and clean by the time I am done.”

Carole opened her mouth to say something but Kurt turned his back on her and walked away.

“Dad, I am getting OUR lights out of the shed. Would you like the red and green or the white lights this year?” Kurt said in much too sweet a voice.

Burt looked out to the yard and all the inflatables. “White.”

Kurt nodded. “Mike, would you be willing to hold steady the ladder?”

“Sure, I’d be glad to.”

“Sam and Puck, there is a first aid kit in the bathroom on the second shelf in the closet that holds the towels. I think between the two of you, you can cover each other’s scratches with the antibiotic ointment. Wash everything first with soap and water. Use a washcloth. Put a bandage on anything bleeding or that is in a spot that might get infected easily. Artie, we’ll be glad to use any other lights from in here that you can salvage. You guys have done a wonderful job getting what you have untangled. Thank you for your hard work.” Kurt said.

Kurt stopped at the door and pulled on his boots and coat, Burt noticing for the first time he’s stormed out in just socks and without a jacket.

“Burt, are you going to let him talk to me like that?” Carole yelled.

“You know what?” Burt said. “Today, I am. I will not have this type of ridiculous behavior at my house, Carole. If Finn wants to have these parties, there will be no fighting…and make no mistake, what has been going on all day today here has been fighting. Roughhousing will happen outside and then safe conditions will be maintained. All dubious activities will stop when someone gets hurt and they will NOT start back up. Arguments will be finished with words, not with fists. This whole pushing and shoving each other when upset with each other will stop. If the behavior is not stopped, Finn simply won’t be able to have friends over.”

“But…” Carole started.

“But nothing. I grew up with rough and tumble cousins. Heck, there is nothing dainty and ladylike about my sister, really. She could flatten most kids on the block and routinely did. We were never allowed to behave like this. Don’t get me wrong, we didn’t just sit quietly and have tea parties. But once someone got hurt or a fist was swung in irritation and not because we were actually boxing, or once we broke anything, the good times were halted and everyone went home and my sister and I worked our butts off to make up for whatever went down. I don’t allow my nephews while they visit to behave like this. I will not allow Finn to behave like this. Finn was reckless and careless and willfully so today, and that is not OK. He pushed two people he insists are his friends OFF THE ROOF, Carole.”

“He didn’t mean it.” Carole said.

“Bullshit.”

Burt walked out and let Carole stew. Finn was whining while Artie kept telling him he was going to tell Kurt that Finn was whining.


	8. Chapter 8

Burt left them inside and went to watch as Kurt had the whole lot of the boys in the yard focused and organized. Kurt had replaced all the power strips with the ones that were made for outdoor use and were also timers and had sets of boys wrapping each bush and tree with lights from the untangled bunches, another two groups were resetting up inflatables…in smaller groupings which he suspected Kurt had had a hand in putting together. The final group of boys was handing Kurt up lights as he quickly and efficiently set the clips and then hung the lights…tool belt sitting on his hips. He and Mike were leading the whole crowd in Christmas songs and most were singing without much fuss. Before long Sam and Puck came out, carrying Artie down the porch stairs, carting out the last few strands of lights they’d managed to get working and untangled.

They joined in the singing and Kurt took a moment between songs to set them to the task of lining the walk with Kurt’s little lantern lights.

The lights were up within an hour and half, even those around the door and windows. The inflatables were all filled and every tree and bush was lit. Kurt had headed to the garage and pulled out the two small trees that flanked the door on the porch and he was even kind enough to let Mike flip the switch to light the whole house up. Even though it wasn’t dark, you could see it.

“Cookies and hot chocolate will be served in the house. Thank you all for your help.” Kurt said loudly, smiling. “Why don’t you go find a movie to watch or play video games while I get it all together?”

The crowd of boys whooped and hollered as they rushed to the house.

Kurt stood for a few moments smiling at his work.

“I find most the inflatables questionable,” Kurt finally said. “However, I really like the way the guys did the bushes and trees. It doesn’t look too bad all mixed together since we have white or red and green and we kept the house just white and spaced the red and green evenly throughout the multicolored mixtures about the yard. It would be overwhelming with more colors of lights, but this works. Amazing what happens when Men are in charge.”

Burt snorted as Kurt flounced off.

“He might have a point.” Mike said.

Puck and Artie started to laugh. By the time they all were back in the house, Kurt had water warmed enough to start serving hot chocolate and had produced several tins of cookies which he was passing around with strict rules to the number allowed each pass, which all the boys were following. Burt doubted the fear Kurt had installed in the guys would last past the day, but for now they were all behaving. Finn was sitting in the corner of the living room pouting…there was no other word for it. They settled for a movie…Jingle All The Way…and Kurt ran Christmas Trivia for extra cookies until all the cookies were gone. Football Nelson tied with Hockey Nelson for the most extra cookies, leading Puck to complain for a good ten minutes before Kurt promised to deliver some to glee club on Tuesday. When the movie was over, the boys switched to video games. Burt asked Puck when the Hudson Lights Parties usually ended (well, he asked Finn first, but Finn informed him that Finn wasn’t talking to him because he let Kurt be mean and Carole had already holed up their room), and ended up ordering Pizzas to feed everyone for dinner. After another round of video games, Burt sent everyone home. It was well past seven in the evening by then and Burt was tired and annoyed and had a headache. Those boys, even when being calm and nice to each other, were loud.

Carole was in their room…pouting. She went up there after Burt tried to speak to her while Kurt passed out cookies. She took a six pack of wine coolers, a bottle of rum, and a carton of ice cream. She was upset Kurt had ruined the Hudson Lights Party and insisted Burt wasn’t being fair about anything. Burt tried for several minutes to get an understanding on how Kurt ruined it and what he wasn’t being fair about, but received nothing coherent for an answer before giving up on that topic. Then Burt had asked if she and Finn wanted to shop for the families the shop helped Sunday afternoon or Monday evening and she said THEY wouldn’t be doing such a silly thing…if the Hummels wanted to do that then they could but she didn’t see why the Hudsons should join in, it wasn’t something the Hudsons did, after all.

“I thought we were combining traditions?” Burt said after her rant.

“We are,” Carole said. “We do things the Hudson way and you join us in doing so. See combined. By the way, I invited all the girls from work over on Thursday night for the Hudson Christmas Girls Night Out Party. Tell Kurt that I promised them makeovers and that he needs be ready to give make overs to about ten to fifteen ladies. The tree needs to be up and decorated by then. I told the girls we were doing pink and purple Victorian theme this year, tell Kurt to get it right before Tuesday-ish.”

“Purple and Pink? We don’t have pink and purple. And did you ask Kurt if he was available?” Burt asked.

“Pink and purple Victorian, Burt. Roses and lace and ribbons and velvet and lots of frills. You don’t need to own it already; Kurt can go buy it tomorrow. I’ve always wanted a pink and purple Victorian tree. I’d like the little china dolls in pink or purple dresses and the little boots. They need to be leather and white. I’m sure Kurt can find them somewhere…even if he has to go to Dayton or Columbus or whatever. Since he is supposedly working next week he can use his paycheck as reimbursement to the family account for the decorations. That way the household account doesn’t have to cover them and we’ll be sure to have plenty for Finn’s gifts. And No, I didn’t ASK Kurt. Why would I? He is home so he should be fine to do it. We want the good stuff too. Quality polishes and oils and whatever else he uses.”

“I think you should ask him if he can do it.”

“He is a kid. We can just tell him to do it.”

“I’ll have him get you a list of the items he’ll need by Tuesday so you can pick them up.” Burt said. “If he agrees.”

“I’m not buying the stuff; he can buy it or it can come from the household account and you can make him pick it up. I won’t have time between now and Thursday. I work on most those days and the days free I have to get my hair done and go clothing shopping for the party. I don’t have anything that is right for a girls’ night out party. This needs to happen, Burt. I promised the ladies. Also, we are providing dinner but I haven’t decided on what yet, it needs to be elegant and really nice and we need drinks and since Kurt did so well at Thanksgiving I figured he could make those up. We’ll need more alcohol, we used most of what we got at Thanksgiving time then and what was left is nearly out. Oh, and we need to buy like fifteen or twenty gifts for bingo wins, which is what we will be playing after dinner. Maybe we should aim for thirty gifts. That way we can play longer. And Kurt will need to set up the bingo calling station by where he’ll be mixing drinks, so he can do both, if you don’t run the bingo game.”

Burt took note of the half empty Gin bottle on the counter as Carole said she’d told the ladies she’d cover the gifts this year instead of having each lady bring one, so they had to work those in too, and those were not the same as bingo gifts. He started to rub his head to try to ease the headache that was forming, only somewhat listening as she insisted that since they had money from the jars at the shop, they could just use some of that to buy the Girls’ Night gifts and get good things this time around, and Carole could save her money for Finn’s Christmas gifts. Oh…and she gave Finn the night off, so they shouldn’t even think of pulling him in to call the bingo game. And she had promised the ladies that they could have individual goodie bags filled with neat stuff so Burt was surely going to offer up free auto care and she was sure he could convince Kurt to go out and buy them really nice beauty items, she’d get him complexion lists.

Burt looked out to the living room where Kurt was managing the cookie distribution and running trivia. Kurt’s shoulders were slumped and he had dark circles under his eyes. Burt realized Kurt hadn’t eaten lunch; Kurt hadn’t been given a long enough break from hosting Finn’s party…Carole’s party…to find himself anything after he came downstairs. It was then that Burt then said No. He was not offering up free anything. He might have had Carole asked, but since she did not he was not going to do so. Also, she could go buy stuff for goodies bags, Kurt was not. Carole stomped up the stairs after grabbing the ice cream and the box of wine coolers and the rum.

Burt settled in to help Kurt manage and monitor the horde for the rest of the afternoon. It took him and Kurt and Puck and Mike to get the guys to leave when he said things were done. Apparently sometimes the guys just stayed until they had to go home due to school…gaming and eating. Puck and Mike waved as they left, after reminding Kurt to bring cookies to Glee.

Burt was trying to decide when he became the dad to three teens and why he hadn’t noticed Carole’s tendency to pout when things didn’t go her or Finn’s way. He was well aware he ought not to have voiced the three teen opinion as he tried to wrestle control of the TV from Finn after he sent all the boys home, he just hadn’t expected Kurt to hear it. Kurt did hear it and did voice his opinion. (Kurt’s comment of having only been dating her for a year and that she had always put on her best face when he was focused on her hadn’t been helpful. Neither had Kurt’s comment that if Burt would have listened to him better about what things were like when he was in the hospital and when he was first at home but not very with it yet, maybe he would have been more prepared for it all. That just made Burt more upset actually. He had been certain Kurt had been the one exaggerating or telling the fib about that time, except…after the last few weeks he wasn’t so certain Kurt was the one exaggerating anymore. And that irked him. If Kurt hadn’t been cleaning up from the day long infiltration of teen boys, Burt would have sent him to his room. Except Burt was rather reluctant to interrupt Kurt’s cleaning, especially since it hadn’t been ‘Kurt’s’ party and so he shouldn’t have had to be cleaning and Kurt hadn’t reminded him of that yet. But Kurt was cleaning so Burt wouldn’t have to. He knew Kurt was worried about his health and worried even more since he wasn’t there to make sure his diet was being overseen properly and he had the help in the shop he needed and he was doing his exercises (all of which wasn’t being done as well as Burt should have but Carole and Finn needed his attention so maintaining the things he was supposed to be doing was hard.) Finn was sassing at Kurt…again… while he sat on the remote so Burt couldn’t get to it and Kurt was sassing at everyone while he cleaned. The din had lessened but it was still too much.

Frankly, Burt had had enough of it all.


	9. Chapter 9

Burt nodded at Kurt as he put the last of the trash into a big bag and got ready to take it outside.

“You guys can finish the rest tomorrow. I’ll pay weekend chore pay for it if you don’t get help.” Burt told Kurt. “Go get your stuff and get it downstairs. I know you’ll want to unpack and get washing going.”

Kurt nodded and headed out to bring his stuff back into the house…which wasn’t going to be as easy as before since the disaster with it that morning. He took the large trash bag out to the bin as he went.

Finn tossed a huge tantrum when he realized Kurt hadn’t been lying when he said he was home for good. He started it the moment Kurt brought in the first suitcase and headed down the stairs. Finn was shouting and flailing his arms about and threatening all sorts of things. Kurt responded with his usual practice of removing all of Finn’s stuff from the bedroom and setting it on the couch in the basement, before going out to his SUV and moving the rest of his stuff from Dalton in very loudly. There was much stomping, on Kurt’s part, and yelling at each other (granted, mostly Finn yelling at Kurt with Finn refusing to move from the living room couch so he wouldn’t have to give up TV control to Burt and Kurt sassing back loudly so Finn couldn’t miss it as he stomped by).

“And this suitcase is the last of my clothing from Dalton!” Kurt exclaimed as he dragged a large suitcase in. “I’ll be putting it all back into my closet, which you had better not have gotten into. I will know. And tomorrow we will fix this whole nothing decorated in the house situation. And I will find out where my snowmen have gone!”

“No. Mom said I get to decide what we are doing inside and I haven’t decided yet. I am trying to decide between NHL and NFL and Guns.”

“Those are not Christmas themes.” Kurt shouted, stopping in the middle of the hall.

“Sure they are...and besides Mom already decided for most of the house. She said she’d make your dad go buy what was needed for it tomorrow and Monday. But it is way girly and I need a MAN spot. She said I could have it in the bedroom.”

“We aren’t allowed trees in the bedrooms.” Kurt said.

“Burt will let me. YOU might not have been allowed it, but Burt likes me and he’ll let me.”

“My dad has REASONS for not allowing trees in bedrooms. He will not.” Kurt snapped. “And he LOVES me.” Kurt continued onto the basement.

The basement door had slammed shut before Finn shouted “You wish!”

Burt hoped Kurt had not heard it.

All Burt could see was another month or longer of this day or Thanksgiving week repeating itself over and over and over again. He was NOT going to put up with it any longer. He decided first to talk to Kurt, so far that had worked best…if he could get Kurt to ease off then the other two would surely see reason.

“Kurt,” Burt snapped as Kurt stomped towards the basement with the last of his stuff from Dalton, after going out and coming back in again, muttering under his breath as he did. “Could we work a little harder here to co-exist please?”

Kurt turned and looked at Burt. “In what way have I not tried to co-exist, Father?”

Kurt’s use of father in such a cold tone shocked Burt and he seriously couldn’t think of an answer.

Kurt had done all that was asked of him, over and over and over, since the wedding. Heck, since long before the wedding Kurt had done what Burt asked…he was often the only one trying to do so.

“I have done nothing but try my best to ‘co-exist’ since they moved in. I have given up everything that makes the season right for me…and when I manage to eek anything out, well...my snowmen seem to be missing, now don’t they?” Kurt shrugged. “So I ask, why are you asking ME?”

He turned and swept off down the stairs. Burt watched his kids chin tilted in defiance…in his ‘I will not break’ pose.

“Are you seriously going to allow him to speak to you like that?” Finn asked. “I think you should ground him. I don’t think you should allow him to do anything fun until Christmas Break really starts and I think you should make him pay Mom and I for his use of the bedroom and the car…so I can get really good gifts from Mom this year.”

“What?” Burt asked, turning to look at Finn. He could not believe what he’d just heard. “He lives here, Finn. If Kurt pays to use the bedroom, so do you.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Do you really want to go there? I’m still entirely unhappy with this day and your behavior.”

“You can’t be upset still. You’re a guy like me and so you understand how guys act. Kurt just threw a hissy fit because he’s more like a girl…a girly sissy girl, not a strong girl like mom… and just doesn’t understand how real men act. Or something like that…he’s not really like a guy at any rate. Sure, he got the lights up and stuff, but not the way a real man would. When you think about it and mom explains it to you without his girly whiny interference you’ll remember how things really are and how they should be and won’t think I did anything wrong. In fact you’ll be proud of me for making it so I got my way and for not allowing people to tell me to do things in ways I didn’t want to. You’ll be so proud of me that you will buy me stuff. No one really got hurt, so nothing bad happened. Not really. Mom said so. She said tomorrow she’d make you go with her and buy me a truck and she’d show you want I wanted for Christmas. And we’ll look at what I want for the Christmas decorations then…she thinks we can find hunting stuff, but I didn’t want hunting...just guns, so I’ll probably choose one of the sports themes. She said she’d even get all the money in those stupid jars at the shop for my use…either for gifts for me or for me to spend.”

“She did, did she? Has your mother been down?” Burt asked.

“No, I went and talked to her before the pizza got here when you didn’t respond right when I said I wasn’t talking to you. You were supposed to apologize for letting Kurt be mean and beg for me to talk to you so you could find out about the rest of the evening, usually with a promise of a gift and some money. Instead you asked someone else. Why did you do that?”

“You said you weren’t talking to me?” Burt replied.

Finn rolled his eyes. “You don’t do that right. You are not supposed to just let it go. You need to apologize for letting Kurt be mean to me and I would like new basketball shoes and a new Xbox game.”

Burt looked at the basement door where Kurt had retreated and then towards the stairs to where Carole was holed up and then to Finn who was sitting with his feet on the coffee table looking like he was right and being very smug about it.

“No.” Burt said. “I would like my TV. Go downstairs and watch your own, before I send you to bed after making sure you don’t get any allowance this next week and taking away your phone.”

“You can’t do that!” The shocked look on Finn’s face was satisfying.

“Do you want to try me?”

Finn stood up and stomped down the stairs to the basement. Burt heard Finn hit the bedroom door.

Burt Hummel was done. He was done being played. He was done letting others boss him around…and he was pretty much done with watching Kurt being bossed around as well. He was taking back control. He leaned back into his chair and noticed the spilled soda next to where Finn had been sitting since all the guys had left. Which he knew hadn’t been there earlier because he’d helped Artie from that spot and Artie was one of the last to leave.

Burt went down to the basement and informed Kurt and Finn that the next day was family day. All members would be present and anyone who didn’t show up didn’t get Christmas at all. No gifts, no Santa, nothing. They would discuss all household rules and regulations. They would discuss all allowances and curfews. They would discuss all gatherings that took place in the house or on the property. They would discuss all traditions for all holidays. They would discuss Friday Night Dinners. They would discuss money usage. They would discuss chores and school work and grades and everything. They would discuss everyone’s behavior and punishments. They would discuss it all. And they were starting the discussions bright and early. Finn threw the remote at Kurt, who caught it and handed it to Burt. Kurt smiled and offered to make breakfast, without it even counting against or for anything. Burt would have reminded Kurt to ditch the sass, except since Kurt caught the remote it wasn’t broken and nothing else was broken from the remote hitting it. And Finn now had to go to bed. Burt shut off the TV in the basement TV room and took the remote with him as he went back upstairs, after telling both boys to go to bed.

Burt sat in the living room watching the TV, finally turned to something he liked. He pulled out the last Mountain Dew. (They had bought four cases of it, and four of diet Coke, and four of Dr. Pepper and six of Sprite…and the soda in his hand was the last one…and he didn’t see enough cans in the house to account for it all. He tried to decide how much to pay Kurt to go make sure all those outside were picked up...even those buried in the snow and tossed under the bushes.) By the end of Lunch the next day, Burt decided, they would have a working family or he’d be getting divorced. He found that he wasn’t sure at that moment which he hoped for most.


	10. Chapter 10

Breakfast wasn’t pretty. Carole was mad at him, Finn was mad at him and Kurt was just mad. Finn had broken the head of the shower in the bathroom downstairs and hadn’t told anyone. Kurt had had to spend over an hour cleaning up after trying to use the shower. Burt had sent him upstairs to shower before breakfast and told Finn he was buying the new shower head with his own money…Burt would be taking him as soon as they were done and if Finn didn’t produce enough money to pay for it and Burt had to…Finn would be shoveling snow from the shop’s parking lot for the next two months without any compensation for it…in other words without pay. Carole huffed about it but she was holding her head and kept complaining that he was moving the house too much so Burt didn’t really care. She hadn’t appreciated him making her get up and telling her her hang over was her fault, not his, and he had no sympathy for her at all. Kurt had made breakfast, like he said he would, but he made crepes and a frittata, things that Carole and Finn were not used to eating. Finn insisted he should be able to go so he could find real food. Kurt lectured Finn on how what he had made was real food, especially compared to Finn’s sugary dry cereal. Carole snapped at the both and tried to go back up to bed. Burt refused to let anyone leave the table …even after they ate. Well, he let Kurt leave long enough to grab the stack of notebooks and pencil pouch the boy had brought up with him…then he made Kurt sit and stay as well.

“This is the first Hummel-Hudson Family meeting,” Burt said. “We will stay here today until we have come to an agreement on how we are going to do things as a family. I’ve played it everyone else’s way for a bit over a month and come to a conclusion that we should have done this day one, maybe even before day one. I have a list of topics. I am writing everything down. Kurt will write everything down too, I’m sure. If anyone else wants to write things down, go now and get paper and pencils. No one? Good. I have calendars and charts and everything we need. Is there a topic anyone would like to start with?”

Kurt went to say something and snapped his mouth shut, Burt scooted back his chair far enough to see Finn kick him under the table again.

“Finn,” Burt said. “Maybe we’ll start with things like that.”

“I didn’t do anything!” Finn snapped.

“I saw you kick Kurt.” Burt said.

“No,” Carole said. “We’ll start with schedules.”

Burt nodded, but wrote down Finn’s physical picking on Kurt on the side.

Burt pulled out one of the big desktop calendars they had made for the garage every year. Kurt could tell it was the most recent version and one of the promotional ones that they offered customers, along with the checkbook size or the little sticky backed ones that could go in cars.

“This will sit on the island part of the counter that no-one eats at. I want on it work schedules, games and concerts, dates and nights out to the movies, baby sitting, trips, anything that planning must be done for or money must be used for or people should attend. You will put on it school schedules and afterschool practices, and before school practices. I want to see listed places where you will be driving, like to the movies or mall, if they are planned before hand or places where you might need to be driven, as the case may be. Remember, you are to call and get permission to be someplace else other than what is listed on the schedule so people know where you are. Always. I will be assuming that if you have not listed a different destination on the schedule, you are home. IF you are not and have not permission to not be home, you will be punished. Any gathering at the house needs to be listed if it is larger than three and/or it needs food. Does everyone understand? It won’t just be you boys either. Carole and I will have our schedules and whereabouts listed on the calendar as well. It is just as important that you two know where we are as it is that we know where you are. IF we cannot manage this and we are still running into problems because people were not where they were supposed to be when we move into a new house, we will implement Sunday Night Family Planning Meetings. These will be non-negotiable and mandatory.”

Kurt nodded and Carole nodded. It was nothing new for Kurt; they’d always had one on the fridge. Finn just glared at it and had been for so long that Kurt suspected he also hadn’t been listening to anything Burt had said.

“Why are there already things written down? If I didn’t say anything nothing should be written, that’s not fair.” Finn asked, unable to read the entries upside down so tilting his head oddly and leaning sideways till he was almost falling out of his chair. Kurt snorted.

“Calendars list holidays, Finn. Friday Night Dinners are also already listed. Friday Night Dinner is non-negotiable unless you cannot make it due to a school event, then we’d better know and be invited if possible.” Burt said. “You WILL be at the table, not just in the house. IF someone has to work, we will eat either early or late. If something is very important, you can make a case for you to be able to miss Friday Night Dinner and I will decide if it is a good reason. Kurt, try to get things set up so that you have left Dalton by 4pm on Fridays, if you can. This semester’s set up wasn’t too bad, but I am aware you might have latter classes since early ones won’t be an option. I can tell you right now, a date is not a good reason unless it is Valentine’s Day, on your significant other’s actual birthday, or an actual anniversary of a year or more.”

“Mom!” Finn whined. “I can’t eat here every Friday Night. I’ll get teased.”

“You have not missed being in the house at dinner time on Friday night yet,” Burt said. “Even if sometimes you didn’t come to the table and expected to have your dinner brought to you…which will not happen any longer. There have been too many accidents that have not been cleaned up and too much trash left lying around. Dinner time will be marked on the schedule and we will eat together as a family unless you are not home for dinner, which will be known about because it will be marked on the schedule. Everyone will eat at a table, in the kitchen or dining room, unless a large enough gathering is happening that requires people eat elsewhere. If that is the case, whoever invited people over is to make sure everything is picked up and cleaned up within three hours after their guests have left, unless given specific permission for it to wait. Right now I will let people eat chips and popcorn and other snacks of that sort outside of the kitchen and dining room, but nothing else. No more plates or food boxes left on floors for days, no more spills left unattended. IF you eat outside of meal time, you clean-up after yourself. You put your trash in the garbage, you clean your dishes, and you load them into the dishwasher.”

Kurt groaned but nodded.

“But…” Finn started again.

“But nothing. I’m sorry if this will be odd for you Finn, but you will get used to it. Next topic?”

“Money,” Finn shouted.

“Ok. Allowances. Carole what do you give Finn for an allowance and what is it dependent on?”

“He gets 50 bucks a week.” Carole said. “It isn’t dependent on anything; he needs money as a teen so he can do things with his friends. I give him extra money for things like taking his girlfriends out or going to the movies or doing other more expensive activities.”

Burt looked at Carole with wide eyes and Kurt struggled not to laugh.

Carole smiled indulgently at Finn. “I also reward him when he does a good job at something and when he does something I ask and when he asks for money I give it to him if I can.”

Burt wrote notes on the paper in front of him. Kurt kept trying to peek at what he was writing.

“Can I get a ball park on what you just give to Finn when he asks?” Burt asked. 

Carole shrugged and started to answer but Finn interrupted.

“How much do you give Kurt?” Finn asked. “I mean he has his fancy car and fancy clothes and all that fancy shit for his face and all his gadgets, you must be giving him a HUGE allowance and I want in.”

Kurt snorted.

Burt smiled. “You want to change your allowance system to Kurt’s, huh?”

“Yeah.” Finn said.

“Finn, I’m not sure…” Carole started but Finn interrupted her again. She shook her head, groaned and scrunched her eyes tight before placing her head back into her hands.

“He always has money, Mom. I mean he has to have a huge allowance to buy his clothes and crap.”

Carole lifted her head to look at Finn, who was rubbing his hands together and sighed.

“Ok, Finn wants an allowance like Kurt has. We can work with that.” Burt said with a smile and Carole slapped her hand against her forehead and then moaned in pain.

“Kurt gets a base 10 dollars for his weekly allowance and half must be placed in his savings account. Two weeks a year Kurt gets 20 dollars as a base, right now he has chosen the first week of June and the first week of December as those weeks he gets more. On top of that, Kurt gets paid for chores done around the house. When all his household chores are done he gets five more bucks a day. He washes dishes, sets and clears the table, cleans and vacuums the common areas –kitchen, dining room, downstairs rec room, living room and main floor bathroom, he cleans his room and bathroom and I check every day before bed to see if it is done. He makes breakfast. On days he makes dinner he gets another half dollar. In winter he has to shovel the walks. In summer there are gardening chores. He gets another 10 bucks if he completes the weekly chores: shoveling the driveway completely, cleaning the bathrooms- all of them, mowing the lawn or weeding the garden. Then there are the big chores: cleaning out the fridge, doing any deep cleaning of the carpets, heavy gardening, deep cleaning the bathrooms and any other big chore I list. Our deal is one big chore a weekend for free. Any other big chore I’d like for him to do is paid on an individual basis. There is a list in the pantry. He only gets paid for those if he completed the chores every day and all his weekend chores and if I asked him to do it or I OKed it as a paid chore. If he didn’t whatever big chores I ask are just done. No complaints. Grocery shopping is generally gas plus 10 bucks, unless it is just a run to the store and then it is just a flat five. If he has to use his own money for family groceries he is reimbursed, but he has to have the receipt. At the end of the calculations Kurt must put 25 percent of what he earned on top his original 10 in his saving account or his collage fund, and 10 bucks into the grocery jar if he has eaten more than his designated snack allotment for the week, and provide all his gas money past his every other week fill-up. This will change when he is driving to Dalton, I will drive him there once or twice and calculate the mileage and pay for his gas to and from the school. Oh, we will be setting up a fund for Finn to use for further study after high school…it cannot be touched until then. We do have a deal that in October and December Kurt only has to put 10 percent of that above the initial 10 in his savings or college fund. Kurt buys all his gifts for friends and family members. Kurt also gets paid 10 bucks an A and 5 bucks a B when report cards come in. He is docked 15 bucks for a failing grade. In this house that is a D or F. I do pay for school lunches monthly. If Kurt eats something not covered by a meal, anything extra he has to pay.”

“Mom! No way! I don’t want Kurt’s allowance system anymore. Mom!”

“Tough luck, kid.” Burt said. “If you keep your system, you will still be doing chores, you just will not get paid at all for doing them. That is one thing that is changing in this household. I am not a slave, your mother is not a slave and KURT is not a slave.”

“But….I can’t do chores. It’s not manly to do chores.”

“Do you want me to go ask all your buddies if they have to do chores?” Burt asked. “I will and I do not think you will like the answers I get. In fact, let us start with Puck. Or Mike.”

“No!” Finn shouted.

“Now, if we split up the chores, we half the amount each gets…and some will also be done by your mom and I. So should we discuss money more or do chores and then come back?”

“Let’s finish the money discussion, Dad.” Kurt said quietly.

“Ok….so we will start with a base of 15 now, since you boys won’t make as much on chores but neither will anyone have huge burden of chores. So everyday chores will be 2.50 a day and I will still pay a full 10 for weekend chores, even though those will be split as well. Kurt will still get an extra 50 cents when he cooks dinner, and Finn can as well if he cooks and dinner is edible. Grocery shopping will stay the same although I am willing to look closer at that due to the time that adding more members of the family will generate. Grades will stay the same…remember I need the report card to get the money for those. Kurt…I will dock for unfinished supplemental courses, and it will be more than 15 for those. The amount which goes into your savings and college accounts will stay the same. However, I will admit that outings might take more. So, each of you will get 20 extra for movies or taking friends out to lunch on a shopping trip or bowling or such…at the time you need it, not every week, mind you. I think we will start with twice a month and if you abuse that drop it to once a month. So, you’d better remember that and plan accordingly. However…I need to know where you will be and who you will be with and you must prove you went out where you said you were going. “

“But…” Finn spouted. “How am I going to have any life at all? I can’t live on so little! And with so many questions.”

Kurt sighed and rolled his eyes.

“If you do your chores every day you get 17.50. IF you do your weekend chores that is another 10 bucks that you have earned, sometimes more, but will just figure in the least amount right now. We start with 15 dollars. That is 42 dollars and 50 cents that will we earn for the week, without any extras. AND Dad is offering 20 extra bucks for doing things with friends more than once a month. You can earn more if you get things together.” Kurt said.

“You don’t understand, Kurt. Mom gives me money all the time. I just say, Mom I need a ten and she just gives it to me. THAT is how this whole parent thing is supposed to work. She asks me to wash the car and I hesitate and she gets me something, so I wash the car and she rewards me with something else. I ask for a new game and she gets it for me.”

Kurt laughed at Finn.

“You are probably the only kid whose parent works like that. Most parents try to teach their children responsibility and a good sense of work ethic. Oh, and a bit of honor.” Kurt said.

“I am not doing chores and I am not doing anything I don’t want.” Finn said, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Oh, you are.” Burt said. “If you don’t do chores, you don’t get to go out and do things and you lose privileges.”

“What?” Finn shouted. “You can’t not give me money and punish me!”

“You are being asked to do something. In not doing it, you are being disrespectful and defiant and you are not doing your share. Doing chores, doing your share as part of a family is how a family manages to live together. If you don’t care to work as part of a family, well that is your choice, but you don’t just get to ride along for free. You lose your ability to have friends over, you lose your ability to have a cell phone, you lose your ability to play games and watch TV. You will find that all you are able to do is homework and read a book. Oh, you also start losing things when you get bad grades and break rules.” Burt said.

“But…” Finn said.

“And Kurt gets paid if he does your chores…your pay.” Burt said.

“Mom!” Finn shouted.

“I’ve been telling you for years you needed to do some chores, Finn. Now maybe you’ll do them.” Carole said. Then she turned to Burt. “However Burt, Finn needs more money than what is currently being offered. Going out on dates is expensive and the girls want at least two or three dates a week. I think Finn needs to start with at least 25 bucks as a base, maybe 30. And I’ll cover at least one of his dates a week…so I’ll give him at least 50 for that. He’ll need that every week.” Carole said.

“And Kurt?” Burt asked.

“Kurt what?” Carole asked.

“Are you covering all of Finn’s allowance?” Burt asked.

“Well, if we are going to do allowance as a family than I figured it would come out of the family account, so no.” Carole said.

“But you are giving Finn an extra 50 a week anyway? So are you giving Kurt anything?” Burt asked.

“Kurt isn’t MY kid, he’s YOUR kid.” Carole said.

“I thought they were our kids now?” Burt asked. “Well, then I’ll just have to give Kurt an extra 50 as well. After all, he is bound to need it.”

“You can’t do that! What about Finn? How is Finn supposed to understand you care about him like a father if you do that?” Carole snapped.

Burt just looked at her.

“If you give Finn 50 bucks a week, I will give Kurt 50 bucks a week. IF you bribe Finn, I will bribe Kurt. OR we as a family can work as a family and live as a family and not set our kids against each other. Allowances stay as is, unless I can be convinced that the base needs to be raised. I will need facts. Furthermore, Finn does not need to take the girls out two or three times week. Not unless his grades are stellar and he’s done his chores. It is time some things start coming first, and those things are not what has been being put first. Finn will just have to get used to it. If need be I’ll explain it to Rachel, or Quinn…or whoever Finn is dating…and their parents. Now, this holiday season is a bit far into it for us to be changing how Finn gives gifts, so I’m willing to allot each boy 150 bucks for buying gifts for friends and whoever else they need to buy for. Finn, if you don’t think that will cover things get Kurt to help you shop. Anything else on allowances?”

Carole and Finn looked at Burt wide eyed and Kurt just hummed and wrote in the note book…Burt could see the figures off on the edge. He watched as Kurt added different sets of numbers for different scenarios, a half smile on his face while he did so.

“Anyone?” Burt asked again.

Everyone shook their heads. Burt smiled.


	11. Chapter 11

“Good. On to groceries.”

“Huh?” Finn asked. “Why do we need to talk about that? You buy food and we eat it.”

“In this house we had an allotted snack amount each week. It kept people from being wasteful and pigging out on trash. We will be going back to it. I had considered not going back to it, but frankly the eating habits without it have been astoundingly horrid and there have been epic amounts of waste. Now, Finn, I know no one has ever kept you to a snack limit. I can tell by the fact you ate four family sized bags of chips last week…in one day…and then whined until you mom went and bought you more. Number one, that is NOT healthy. Number two, you left the trash all over the floor and you left a good bag or two of spilled chips scattered around the room. That is wasteful. SO…we will be buying containers for in the pantry that will have each person’s snacks in them, as well as containers in the refrigerator. That way MY snacks can be more easily refined to the doctor’s orders and everyone else’s can be filled to their tastes. However, once that week’s snacks are gone, they are gone. YOU have to buy any extras you want. I will require the receipts.”

“You can’t do that! I’m a growing boy. I have to eat all the time. I’ll die if I don’t!” Finn shouted.

Kurt laughed.

“No you won’t. Furthermore you will be healthier with a better meal schedule.” Kurt said. “I took a supplemental health course after the one…supposedly taught but not taught…at McKinley.”

“I will build into your snack allotment an honest to goodness afternoon snack and one other snack option for school days and three between meal snack options for weekends. It is not like I’m not going to allow you to eat except at meal time. Whole family sized bags of chips are not ever an option. It may be that your afternoon snack isn’t in your box but in the freezer or refrigerator if you are interested in your afterschool snack being something like sandwiches. However, they it will be something like A SINGLE reasonable sandwich, A SINGLE burrito, and not a whole loaf of bread worth of sandwiches or half a bag of burritos.” Burt said. “If you snack and then do not eat your dinner at dinner time…you will not be fed later and you may even loose the privilege of snacking.”

“Mom!” Finn yelled.

Carole shrugged. She hadn’t been happy with the wasted food for several years, but hadn’t realized that part of the problem might be Finn’s snacking habits.

“We eat dinner together every night. We eat at the table. Nightly Dinners can be missed without a lot of fuss, unlike Friday Night Dinners, but it had best be known. If there is a reason someone cannot make dinner…work, school activity, pre-arranged outing with your friends…and you didn’t eat while away, either dinner will be saved for you to reheat, or you can eat something like soup and sandwiches, one or two, without it counting against your snack allotment. IF you ate all your dinner and your allotted snacks for the day and are still so hungry after all that that you can’t possibly sleep…you can make one peanut butter sandwich and have with it a glass of milk. Nothing more. I know…I have checked…I will get doctors written proof…that that peanut butter sandwich will be enough for you to survive the night without starving and with it you will be completely fine until morning. For breakfast we can eat TWO bowls of cereal at most, four eggs at most, five or six pancakes, a waffle or two, one breakfast burrito, and no more than four pieces of toast. Not all at the same time, however you can mix and match in reasonable amounts. Lunches are to consist of reasonable amounts of food when you are home on the weekend and are to be eaten at a reasonable time.”

“I’m gonna die.” Finn moaned. “I’m gonna starve to death.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Kurt snapped, rolling his eyes again.

Burt snorted and continued. “As a family we will not eat out more than once a week, unless there is some sort of special reason. If we eat out we will not be ordering in. If we order in, we are not going to be eating out. Saturday will remain date night for Carole and me. Carole, if you and Finn want to still have your weekly mother and son meal out that is fine, I know it is somewhat of a tradition with you guys. It wouldn’t be counted as the family meal out. However, if you plan on using the family account to pay for it, it must be kept reasonable except for the weeks of Finn’s Birthday, your birthday, and Mother’s day. I will inform you now, reasonable is under twenty-five bucks. Your mother and son dinner will be put on the schedule. Kurt, we’ll start up our weekend at the shop lunch again. I am sorry I didn’t realize how long it had been.”

“It’s Ok, Dad.” Kurt said.

“If you have weekend lunches with Kurt what about your weekly dinner with Finn?” Carole demanded.

“Yeah, about that,” Burt said. “I never had a weekly dinner with Finn. I had a ‘take Finn out’ whenever you or he decided he wanted to be taken out somewhere. You wanted these weekly or more often meal outings with Finn and you wanted me to take him to all sorts of events. But you don’t do anything with Kurt, twice in this whole year KURT has taken YOU shopping and paid for it all. You don’t eat out with him or take him places. I know that you feel it is extremely important for Finn to have some male bonding time, for me to be a father to him. However, last night when I was looking at the financing all summer long and writing down who went where and what we did…I was ashamed at what I saw. Do you realize I haven’t done anything with Kurt, no father and son outing or activity, since I started dating you Carole? We aren’t even discussing what happened last spring, but after mapping financially what was up, Kurt’s fears weren’t out of the blue. And it did not get better. We left Kurt home six times this summer when YOU insisted we go see ball games so Finn could feel like I wanted to be a dad and you decided Kurt would hate it and so it should just be the three of us. Ballgames I paid for three tickets for and which you skipped each time because they weren’t teams you were interested in and you didn’t want to be bored. And I didn’t argue, because I like ball games. You insisted I spend bonding time, father-son time, with Finn four more times during the summer…where I took Finn places Kurt would have enjoyed as well, but I was told that bringing Kurt would make Finn feel bad and so would defeat the purpose. And I let you convince me of that. I took Finn out to eat once or twice a week because you insisted Finn needed a father figure to talk with about important stuff…but he never spoke about anything other than sports and his pals and parties and hanging out and video games and you complained when I tried to talk jobs and school and his behavior with the girls or anything else even remotely heavy. I ended up taking YOU to that shopping trip in Columbus the day I was supposed to take Kurt to the Demolition Derby because you decided you didn’t want to drive there on your own; however you also didn’t want to disappoint your friends from when you were married to Finn’s dad. I spent the day sitting in the car waiting for you to finish shopping, or finish lunch, or finish getting your nails done…because these were friends who had also been friends with Finn’s dad and you weren’t sure about adding me to the mix…and you were doing girl stuff. I ended up dropping everything to drive Finn to a last minute football camp, which I paid for and you never reimbursed me even though you said you would, on the day I was supposed to take Kurt to the Hot Air Balloon Festival. And I ended up taking Finn to the monster truck rally I had planned to attend with Kurt after you and he convinced me that Kurt, who had enjoyed every single one I’d taken him to since he was 2, had told you and Finn he didn’t want to go after all. And I just read last night a note from Hank at the shop that asks why Kurt was working on rally day because KURT didn’t know why I assigned him to work that day. You two outright lied to me about that Monster Truck Rally. I yelled at him for an activity we were supposed to do together in September, and I ditched two things we were supposed to do in the last two months…to accommodate you and Finn. Kurt told me last spring that he thought I didn’t want HIM anymore, that I would prefer someone else. I told him I love him just the way he is. But I can now see where he might have thought I didn’t…that I don’t. SO…we are changing our ways. I’m not ditching doing things with Finn all together, just I’m not doing what we have been doing any longer. I will spend one day a month doing something with Finn. Twice a year I will be willing to do an activity that costs over 100 bucks. All other months will be under. I will NOT take Finn out of school for any activity more than once a year. Finn, I suggest you look closely at what ball games you really want to see. If it requires an overnight stay…it is over 100 bucks, keep that in mind. I will do monthly activities with Kurt. His do NOT need to be under 100 bucks, not after this past year. Due to the fact Kurt gets good grades, I will be willing to remove Kurt from school if I need to. We can stay overnight. Tonight, Kurt and I will be going to Diva Academy’s Nutcracker Suite. Kurt, I am sorry it is not the better one at the university’s stage, but you know June, the talkative one who works at the parts store in Findley? Her daughter is dancing. Also, Kurt, pick you out a movie. I’m going to take you to see our lost Thanksgiving weekend show on Wednesday.”

Kurt smiled. “Thanks, Dad.”

“Burt, that is not fair!” Carole shouted. “Finn deserves to go to the movies with you, too. You can’t just go about taking Kurt places.”

“Sure I can. It is called father and son bonding and I forgot for a while that while Kurt and I didn’t do the whole sports games things very often, there were other activities that we enjoyed together. I also forgot that being a part of a family meant sometimes I did things for him that weren’t my cup of tea, but guess what, he also did things with me that he didn’t enjoy without a fuss. We went to ball games, and in the long run we both enjoyed it. Sure I might have heard one or two traditional comments about stirrup pants, but the rest of the game was enjoyable. He didn’t whine or beg or complain. Just like I routinely complained about men in tights somewhere in the first fifteen minutes of the ballet and then watched the rest of the ballet without complaint. It was working fine for a long time until...somehow…I forgot.”

“But Burt…”

“But what, Carole?” Burt asked.

“It is just not fair to Finn.”

“What about it isn’t fair to Finn?” Burt asked.

“Well, how is he going to go to all the good games now?” Carole asked. “If you don’t take him to all the big games, how is he going to be able to get tickets and be able to make a big deal to his friends about being at them. If you don’t take him, it is going to ruin his reputation.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. First and Foremost, I’m sure he had a fine reputation before we started dating and he and I started doing things together last spring…with or without seeing the good games.” Burt said. “Second, if he truly wants to go to them he has choices. We can go as a family, all four of us. But he is still not missing school to attend them except once a year. He can get a job and make his own money and buy his own tickets and you and he can go, or he can take a bus and go, or go with a friend or two. He cannot miss school to do so, but it is an option. And twice a year I will pay over 100 bucks…tickets and meal…I won’t even count gas price if we are just off to Cincinnati or Cleveland. He can choose…big game or amusement park or big race. We can go and sit in less expensive seats. He can just deal with not seeing ‘good games’ all the time. See, tons of options. I was never taking him to those games to improve his reputation; at least I wasn’t aware I was. I thought I was taking him to games to promote opportunities for getting to know each other and bonding and giving him a male figure to help with real life issues. If I was just taking him to give him bragging rights, it definitely needs to stop anyway. I don’t like being used, Carole. I had better have not been being used.”

“Of course you weren’t Burt, but surely you understand how important it is for a kid like Finn to be able to brag to his friends about things. He needs that to keep himself in people’s focus.” Carole insisted.

“Once a month. IF Finn needs a dinner out with me to talk over real issues that he can’t with you; girls, job, school, what he wants to do past high school, drugs, drinking problems, sex …real issues, Carole… then I will take him out for dinner when he needs that. However, we aren’t playing the game we have been. I am done with it.”

“I’m not happy about this, Burt.” Carole said.

“I’m not happy about a lot of things right now. We can come back to this later, but as of right now there isn’t more to say about it. Back to groceries. Since, without a menu, this household has ordered out three to five nights a week since we have been married and wasted loads of food bought because it was NOT used, we will be putting together a menu. IF you don’t want to cook, Carole, fine. I will, or Kurt will. Meals however will start being prepared. Meals will conform to dietary restrictions as well. We will take the next week or so to figure out a budget for groceries. I want everyone to write up a list of meals they would like over the next two weeks. We will discuss Christmas Dinner and Christmas Eve in a few minutes, so you don’t have to worry about those days. Oh, and the cooks’ meal choices get more priority.”

“But that’s not fair!” Finn shouted. “I’ll never get my favorite things to eat!”

“I did not say others would never have a say, Finn. I figure there are four of us. Each of us gets two meals a month that are our choice that no one can complain about, although changes might have to happen to my portion to make it match my diet. The rest of the time…the cook gets to choose. They are the one making the meal; they should have more say on what they make. IF you decide to cook and make meals that are edible, then you get to pick what you cook…and remember, you get 50 cents for cooking dinner. And that is one of those items I’m willing to negotiate on…IF YOU can convince me the pay for making dinner needs to go up. And that can only happen if you have learned to make edible meals and are cooking semi regularly. However, Kurt makes the same pay for cooking meals you do.”

Finn tilted his head to the side and Burt could see him working through the idea. He didn’t think Carole was paying attention, really. She had her head back in her hands and was lightly groaning. Kurt was smiling again. The whole menu thing was going to be new to him and Kurt, as well, but he knew it was something his son could work with. 

“So…I want a list of meals you would like to eat, from each of you, by Tuesday so we can plan out meals and then put them on the schedule. Finn I would also like a list of things you’d like to eat as afterschool snacks and for just your regular snacks. Carole, if you would like snacks bought with you in mind, you need to make a list as well. Kurt, make me a list if anything has changed. We will then make a grocery list and then someone will do the grocery shopping. I will be with whoever does the shopping from the list this first time around because we are using that trip to set an idea of how much groceries should cost for the four of us. Don’t think of padding it anyone. I will also be looking online to see what people think.”

“Would you like me to go through the staples we have and what we need, Dad? Or just price them and make note when we need new staple items so that that price gets added to the shopping fund?”

“The second. It’s time to do inventory anyway. We are actually late on that, but I already KNOW why Kurt, so I don’t want to hear it now. I might just have us just do a shopping trip for those items alone at the end of the month.” Burt answered.

Burt looked at everyone until they nodded before looking at his list. He ignored Carole’s eye roll and Finn’s look of confusion.

“Dad,” Kurt said while Burt was jotting down details of what he’d just said. “What about when we have friends over?”

“Hmm….I think groceries can cover one gathering for each of you if it is on the schedule and known about and you can choose which one. So, if you want a sleepover with your girls and you have it listed if you can make a list of foods you would like for it when whoever is grocery shopping goes shopping, the food can be covered. I am hoping to do grocery shopping every other week. So that would cover two gatherings for each of you a month. Finn, I don’t know if you caught it beforehand, but a gathering is more than three friends over or any time you have less friends over that you want food for or needs to be planned for for whatever reason…like if you want to watch a game up here on the big TV. So…to be clear…even if you invite just Puck over but want to eat food not from your snacks or that you want someone else to make for you, it is a gathering. The groceries will pay for ONE gathering every two weeks. Choose wisely. You will pay for the food for gatherings over that number. Not counted against your gathering number are parties, which have to be scheduled and given permission, but if they are OK’d they might be able to be supplied by the groceries. If you have a party here, everyone here is invited. I don’t care about the reasoning you might not invite someone…everyone is invited.”

“But…” Finn started.

“No buts. Kurt, even a girl’s night should be able to include Finn until curfew. So pajamas will need to be a bit more…more for some of those girls.”

Kurt sighed. “Fine. I’ll tell them if we host at ours they have to be more fully dressed and be prepared for Finn.”


	12. Chapter 12

“Good. Good. We are making great progress! Let’s see…we’ve covered allowances, groceries, school lunches, hmm…clothes!” Burt checked off his list as he went done it. “I think we will go with Kurt’s clothing budget. Finn might like this. I will buy 100 dollars’ worth of pants every other month. That might be one pair of pants or it might be several pairs of pants. If you wear it over your legs it is pants. On months I am not covering pants I will buy 100 dollars’ worth of tops. It could be one top…shirt, sweater, sweatshirt, hoody…or it could be multiple tops. Undershirts are tops. Long johns and thermals generally are considered pants, even if bought in sets. I do not buy Halloween costumes anymore, save up for what you want or make it yourself. I will buy one ‘Christmas’ outfit in November…that is nice pants, button-up shirt, and a nice sweater of MY choice that are fit to wear to fancy dinners or parties that might come with the holiday season. I cover one swimsuit a year, one jacket a year, one winter coat under 250 every other year unless you outgrow yours, one pair of nice shoes…those could be nice boots, and one pair of gym type shoes, of a reasonable price. I don’t buy really expensive gym shoes. If you think you need those, you buy them yourself. I do not completely cover uniforms. I will pay for them, but you will work half of the cost off. I buy 12 pairs of socks at the beginning of school and for Christmas and we check to see if any are needed for summer, if some are I also buy a pack of socks for summer. I buy 8 to 10 pairs of underwear at the beginning of school and 4 to 5 pairs, depending on what comes in a pack, at Christmas and at the start of summer. You want more clothing, you pay for it yourself. IF you don’t use all your clothing money for a month, you can talk me into adding the extra to your post high school account, but only that account. The household will cover half that for me. Carole, if you want to buy clothing from the family account that is the set up for you as well. This will cover plenty of clothing. In fact it can cover way more clothing than anyone really needs.”

“What about work clothes?” Carole asked.

Burt thought for a few moments. “I buy Kurt’s and mine through the shop. Doesn’t your job provide a clothing stipend?”

“Well, yeah, but…” Carole said.

“You bring me a list of what extra you need that isn’t covered by what your job gives you for it and we can work something out.”

“I just don’t see how that is fair…”

“Carole, you add just 50 percent of your income to the family account, after taxes and everything. You have 50 percent to spend on whatever you would like. As a household we cover kids clothing because one of the things parents do is provide clothing for their kids. The household provides some clothing for us. You have money to provide beyond that for yourself.”

“I still think it is unfair.” Carole said.

“And I could go back to the lawyer and bank officials who helped set up this family account and have the official documents drop what I put in the family account to only 50 percent as well and make it more fair.” Burt said. “They said to just come in and change that if I ever decided to since that was our legal agreement and I’m just putting in 70 percent to make family living easier.”

Kurt was taking notes.

“But how does Kurt get all his clothing?” Finn yelled, slamming his fists on the table.

“I work, Finn. I have a job.” Kurt answered. “Actually, more than one.”

“A job?” Finn responded incredulously.

“Yeah, a job. It pays me and I use that money to buy myself stuff. I also plan and shop sensibly and save and shop around. I often can buy six or seven shirts with the hundred bucks my dad gives me for shirts, one wonderfully awesome month I bought seven pairs of pants with Dad. It was glorious. The money dad gives for clothing is not a small amount, and definitely not if you are wise.”

“Moving on, we come back to that topic though, so think through if there is really more you want to say. And the topic of jobs will be coming up!” Burt said before anyone could speak more on jobs. “Money wise we still need to cover outings and other items. We covered father and son outings, once a month for each of you boys…under 100 for Finn except twice a year. No spending limit on Kurt for this next year at least, except Kurt…be reasonable. No big trips. A father son outing may not be a trip to New York or Disneyland or anything like that.”

“Chicago?” Kurt asked.

“Maybe, we’d have to see why.”

“One of the big races?” Kurt asked.

“In Ohio? Yes. I’ll have to think about others.”

Kurt nodded.

“I am willing to fund two large family outings…family vacations. One if out of state. None if the whole family isn’t included. We can discuss smaller family outings. I might be willing to do several of those, it will be a ‘we will see’ deal. It will greatly depend on the circumstances of life when the ideas are brought up.”

“What kind of circumstances?” Finn asked.

“If you had good grades, if you were behaving decently, if you hadn’t broken rules for a while, if you had kept up with your chores, those types of circumstances. Family Vacations are a treat, not a necessity.”

Finn tossed his head back and groaned.

“Ok. Other money items. If you break something around the house, you replace it. If I have to pay for it, you will work off the cost. I don’t cover your cell phone payments. If you want me to cover your cell phone payment, your cell phone will be a one of those inexpensive little phones you buy and then buy cards to put minutes on it or we will do a monitored family plan. Do not rent movies on the TV. If you do you will pay for them. You may ask and IF I agree I will do the renting of it. Do not add channels, do not order pay-per-view games. DO NOT ADD to the TV BILL. If you do, you will be paying the whole of the next month’s TV bill yourself.”

“But..” Finn started.

“No. If you seriously want to watch a game we don’t get, you come and ask. IF you haven’t asked for a while, I might think about it and say yes. IF you make a habit of asking, I will even get rid of the sports channels I have added.”

Finn nodded.

“We cover all school class fees under 30 bucks, over 30 you cover half your fee. So, we cover your class fees if you have them for all classes except…what class was that Kurt?”

“Photography had a 35 dollar fee and a 20 dollar rental if you didn’t have your own digital camera. All the other classes are under 30. Oh, except driver’s ed.”

“We will be discussing driver’s ed. in a little bit.” Burt said. “The family account will pay your basic student fee. You pay your sports fees. I’ll cover your yearbook if you haven’t purchased it already. The family account covers field trips and bus fees for those. You pay your own parking fee. Next year for senior year we will cover your senior portraits, cap and gown, 100 graduation announcements, and 75 bucks worth of other graduation stuff. You cover the rest. You cover dances. The family account covers school pictures, including the spring ones, but only the 30 buck and under packages. Oh, and the family account will cover 100 dollars of hobby purchases every three months, although I can be talked into upping that amount around Christmas if you sell me a good enough reason and around county fair time if you sell me a good enough reason. Anything else? No? If someone thinks about something we can talk about it then.”

“I think we ought to do something the Hudson way.” Carole stated.

“Chores were next on my list,” Burt said. “Did you want to do chores the Hudson way?”

“Yes!” shouted Finn.

“Not really.” Said Carole. “I’ve been trying to get Finn to do chores for years.”

Burt smiled. “I do need suggestions on how to split them up and if we want to rotate chores or stick with chores that are just ours.”

“Rotate.” Kurt said.

“Have chores that are just ours,” said Finn. “I will have ‘take out the garbage’ and I’ll only have to do the kitchen when it is full. That is it.”

“Yeah, no.” Burt said.

“What do you mean, we?” Carole said.

“I mean we. I realized that I have to do more daily chores around the place or I’ll be screwed when Kurt goes off to college. ALL of us will be getting some chores.”

“But Burt, we work.” Carole said.

“So does Kurt.”

“But…”

“Carole, who did chores at the Hudsons?” Burt asked.

“I did.”

“And you did so while working.”

“Yes.”

“So you can do so here. I am serious about this. When Kurt was off at Dalton, no one did anything until it was shameful around here. I was used to it being done. I don’t know what you two’s excuse was. That won’t happen again. We all get chores. So Kurt start making some lists.”

Kurt pulled a sheet out of his notebook he was writing in and started a list.

“I figure who ever cooks wipes down the stove and counters when done cooking. Pots and pans go in with the dishes. Someone needs to set and clear and wash the table. Someone needs to sweep and vacuum the living areas. We need the main floor bathroom kept clean, trash picked up, things dusted. Trash taken out and sidewalks kept clear. Bedrooms and bathrooms kept clean.”

“Hmm….”Kurt said. “When are you checking chores are done, Dad?”

“I always checked at about 10pm before.”

Kurt nodded.

“Should we go back to baskets on the stairwells?”

Burt thought for a moment and nodded.

“Ok. How does this sound? One chore list would be pick-up the living room and TV room down stairs and vacuum. The next would be pick-up and vacuum the dining room and set and clear the table. The third would be keep the bathroom down here tidy and fresh and take out the trash throughout the house except the bedrooms, we take out our own bedroom trash…including taking the bin to the road on pick-up days, this person could also shovel the sidewalk on snowy days or water in summer. The final list is washing the dishes and put them away and sweep and pick-up the kitchen. Everyone keeps their bedroom and the other bathrooms clean and if we can’t manage to do that without one person taking the brunt, Finn and I can switch off bathroom days and you and Carole can switch off bathroom days. Everyone makes their own breakfast or you could pay 50 cents if someone wakes up and makes a full breakfast for everyone. You wash your own breakfast and lunch dishes. We can look at other chores like weeding and such come summer to see if they can become weekend chores and maybe have a different pay for those less heavy weekend chores that I’d been doing daily but didn’t necessarily need done daily.”

Finn looked at Kurt. “Like, that doesn’t seem to have too much on any one list.”

“It doesn’t. IF you keep things picked-up to start with and do things daily it’s not that hard to keep things up. We’ll go back to baskets, too. We’ll get laundry baskets and I’ll put our names on them and when you are cleaning your area and you come across someone’s stuff, you put it in the basket. Then when you go to your room, you pick-up your basket and take it with you, put your stuff away, and then bring back your basket so it can be filled again.”

“You said laundry baskets. What about laundry?” Finn asked.

“We do our own.” Kurt said firmly. “I will NOT do your laundry; in fact I prefer only ever seeing MY unmentionables, thank you very much. I do my laundry on Saturdays. Dad does his on Tuesdays when he had his off hours. You can pick any other day. I will teach you how to do this. This is an important life skill, Finn. Do you want to go around with pink underwear for half your first year of college because you never learned how to do laundry?”

“Pink underwear?” Finn asked.

“Yes. Read any blog out there about guys’ first year living without their mom…PINK UNDERWEAR. Imagine trying to get somewhere with your girlfriend and having to explain that.” Kurt said.

“Is Friday nights good? Like late, so I won’t be having to get home too early? Or would that like be too little time?” Finn asked in a fearful voice.

Kurt looked disdainfully at Finn’s clothing. “I think we can get your wash done in one evening. Friday night sounds great. I’ll buy you a clothing hamper…all your own…for the room. No charge for teaching you to do laundry or the hamper.”

Burt smiled and Carole looked shocked.

“I’ll take Thursdays,” Carole said quietly.

Kurt smiled and made note in his notebook. “Did we decide to rotate chores?” Kurt asked.

“I think we will rotate, how does for a whole week sound?” Burt asked.

Carole nodded and Finn agreed. “I think I can do most of those without it being too hard.”

Kurt smiled condescendingly at Finn. “I’m glad.”

“Wait, like…do we have a dishwasher here?” Finn asked.

Kurt rolled his eyes and wrote more down. 

“Yes, Finn,” Burt said. “We have a dishwasher and I will teach you how to run it.”


	13. Chapter 13

“So, we’ve talked chores. I want you boys to have your chores done by 10 pm. I will check. If you go out, you need to finish your chores before you go if you don’t plan on being home to do them before 10, if you can. Carole, you and I have until 10pm unless we are working late and then we have until two hours after we get home. Let’s see…chores, allowances, money use, dinners, food rules…no eating except at the table, clean up after yourself after lunch and breakfast and snacks, eat only your snacks, buy own snacks if you eat through your snack box…Oh. WE do not live in a zoo. WE never throw food at each other. Except I will allow you to toss popcorn and catch it in your mouth…that is just a rite of passage. However you play that game you clean up after yourself regardless whose chore that room might be. I find popcorn, skittles, or nuts on the floor and that game is no longer allowed. We never throw food at the dinner table. Hmm…we covered Friday Night Dinners. Gatherings…hmm….”

“A gathering goes on the schedule if it has more than three other people over, if it needs food, if it needs something special like the TV up here, and everyone who lives here must be allowed to attend…” Kurt said.

“Hmm. Also, if you plan a gathering and you expect other members of the family to do ANYTHING at the gathering or for the gathering you must ask if they are willing and available to do whatever it is you want done. You cannot just make plans for others without asking. And this rule isn’t just a rule for you kids…all the members in the household need to abide by it.” Burt said, glaring at Carole.

Carole didn’t say anything so Burt continued on. “School work and grades…there is a topic we haven’t discussed much yet. Homework is to be done before you do anything unless permission is granted otherwise. You come home from school and you sit down and do your homework. No TV, no friends over or going out, and no games or computer time, unless the computer time is homework, until your homework is done. Now Kurt also does a supplemental program, but I won’t make Finn do so. Kurt’s been doing so since he started school. However, if Finn isn’t getting good grades at McKinley then he will being dong a supplemental program as well until he can pass the very basics well enough to take his college entrance exams and get an average score on them. Now we touched on grades. I will be at every parent teacher conference the school holds, for both of you from now on. If I find out there was one and I was not told so I could not go, you don’t get to do anything remotely fun for a month and I will call your teachers, each of them, for a weekly report until the semester is over. If I find out you are slacking off in class, you will do double the homework for that class. I will find you assignments if none are given. Good grades get you rewards. 10 bucks an A, 5 bucks a B and if you get a D or F, you lose 15 bucks for each failing grade.”

“That’s not fair,” Finn said. “Kurt is smart and gets good grades.”

“Kurt might be smart, but good grades mostly come from completing homework and studying and doing well on tests. I’ve asked, Finn, and I went to all the parents meet teachers nights and I read the papers the teachers sent home at the start of each class. If you turn in your homework and do not mess around during class time, you can pass easily with a B. Anyone can do that if they try.” Burt said.

‘But he’ll get more money than me.” Finn said.

“And it will be his reward for working hard to maintain his good grades. If you work hard, I’m sure you could pull out As or Bs, as well.” Burt said.

“But he has all those extra classes.” Finn said.

“I can sign you up for some.” Burt said.

“But that’s not fair.” Finn said. 

“I am still not seeing why it isn’t fair, Finn. It isn’t like I’m giving Kurt 20 or 30 bucks per A and you just 10…you get an A, you get 10 for it, Kurt gets an A, Kurt gets 10 for it.”

“But…”

Kurt sighed. “I am taking classes that are more difficult than yours, Finn. Even in McKinley I took AP and Honor classes. You are just as able to get an A in your classes as I am in mine.”

“Or this payout for good grades can be something I just do for Kurt.” Burt said. “However, that would not remove the fact that you will start doing your homework and getting decent grades and doing good in school.”

“No! I should just get more money for an A or B because I’m not as smart as Kurt…and because getting good grades will cost me. It will make me less popular.” Finn said.

“No. You each get the same amount.” Burt said.

“But like…doing my homework is going to ruin my life. I need to be paid for doing my homework, so I have a reason for it that is good enough for people not to get on my case about it.”

“You’ll be fine.” Burt said.

“Finn.” Carole said. “You will do your work and if you need help Kurt will help you. It will work out, you’ll see.”

Kurt glared at Carole. “Do I get paid for tutoring him? Or am I doing it for free?”

“Why would you get paid?” Carole asked.

“I get compensation at Dalton for tutoring; I got compensation at McKinley for tutoring. Why wouldn’t I get paid?”

“Because you help out your family.” Carole said.

“I’m at Dalton and have a long drive to and from school. Time is not in abundance for me. Time helping Finn takes away from my own work and my free time. Time is valuable. I can spare maybe a half hour a day to help Finn for free. If I help Finn with his work I will NOT be giving him answers or doing his work for him. He will do it himself and I’ll just help…like talking him through ideas or giving him a dictionary to look words up in. And he had better have tried to do it himself first.”

“You will help however he wants you to help to get him good grades. If he has to get good grades to get the grade money then you will get him good grades so he can make as much as you.” Carole said.

Kurt looked to his dad, who was rolling his eyes.

“Kurt will help properly; he will not do Finn’s work for him. It is up to Finn to get the grade money. It is not Kurt’s responsibility.” Burt said.

“But that’s not…”

“It is fair. Moving on. School work needs done right as soon as you get home, Kurt doesn’t need to spend any time with Finn helping with homework if he hasn’t even started it yet because he hasn’t followed the school work as soon as one gets home rule, rewards for good grades, Curfew!” Burt said, much more chipper than Kurt thought he needed to be.

“Carole, what is Finn’s curfew?” Burt asked.

“He needs to be home so he can go to school the next morning.” Carole said.

“I am absolutely certain you said Finn had a curfew,” Burt said. “You know…each time you’ve moved into the house.”

“That is a curfew.” Carole said.

“That is not.” Burt said. “It certainly explains a great deal.”

“I vote we use Finn’s curfew.” Kurt said. “I mean, we really haven’t done a whole lot the way Finn is used to doing things in this discussion.”

“Yeah, no. Nice try though, Kurt.” Burt said. “Kurt’s curfew is 10pm on weeknights and midnight on weekends, now that he is a junior. It will remain that way next year as well. He can ask for special permission to be later, if need be.”

“I can’t have a curfew like that!” Finn shouted. “People will think I’m a baby!”

Burt rubbed his forehead. All the shouting, protesting and whining was giving him a headache. He wasn’t sure how Carole was handling it with her head already aching. It would explain why the last few times she’d dropped her head into her hands her hands had gone over her ears, though. “You can and will. We might be able to negotiate for a latter curfew IF you manage to get home on time for a month. So far, when you’ve gone out in the evening, you’ve come home well past midnight and have been late for school nearly every time the next day. And weekends have been worse. It is unfair to us to have to wait up for you.”

“Besides,” Kurt said. “City curfew is 10pm on weekdays, with an hour travel time after the end of movies that end past 10pm, concerts or school activities that end past 10pm, or the closing of the skating rink or bowling alley. And they require proof of attendance. If you are picked up by the cops without it they do keep records. You should go see how long Finn’s record is. They won’t actually bug your folks unless something is wrong though…like that time SOMEONE threw pee balloons at me while walking from the skate rink to the garage a few years ago. It is just 11pm on weekends.”

Finn glared at Kurt and Carole huffed. “Finn’s a good kid. I doubt he has any record at all. Cops would know better than to pick him up. They only go after bad kids and kids who aren’t…normal.”

“Finn hangs out with Puck.” Kurt said. “Not to mention some of the other football and hockey guys. Since you are married now, Dad can check on Finn’s list. It should be enlightening.”

“Finn will be home by 10pm on school nights until Finn hasn’t been late for school for a month….of school days.”

“But…”

“No buts.” Burt said firmly. “While on the topic, there is no skipping class or school. You get to school on time and you get to classes on time. They leave phone messages, Finn. They send emails and texts to your mother and I.”

“Mom!”

“I have told you numerous times that I can’t make the school excuse skipping and tardiness, Finn. As it is you have to do a Saturday school day next month so you can get this semester’s grades. You are scheduled for the first Saturday in January. It would have been next Saturday but you guys don’t have finals until the second week of January so kids can use winter break to write papers and stuff, so I talked them into January.” Carole said.

This was obviously news to Finn, who kicked the chair Kurt was sitting in hard enough to move Kurt away from the table about six inches. Burt wrote on the paper he was reading off of and signaled to Kurt to stay quiet. Kurt glared but complied.

“Hmm…household rules in general…I’ll write them out and post the on the wall, but here is the quick run-down, most of which we have covered. Be where you are supposed to be when you are supposed to be there. Do your homework and work first before you play. Eat at the table for meals and pick up after yourself if you snack elsewhere, if that option is available. You break it, you fix it or buy the replacement or work off the replacement/fix. Report all breaks to me. Roughhousing stays outside and stays relatively safe. If someone gets hurt, it all stops. Roughhousing includes fake sword fights still, Kurt. Keep your curfew. Do your chores. Mind the rules for things like snacks and gatherings. No fighting.”

“But…” Finn started.

“No fighting, Finn. That means of any sort. No picking on people inside this house, not ones who live here or ones who don’t. I will reinstate the sass jar, Kurt, if I find I need to. There will be no more kicking Kurt, pushing Kurt, hitting Kurt, throwing things at Kurt, or that type of physical picking on in the house Finn, and you had better not be doing it outside the house either. Kurt, there will be no more pushing or throwing things at Finn. The name calling needs to stop. The insults need to stop. Although, issues surrounding things like yesterday would be evaluated before I sent you towards the sass jar, as much of yesterday’s name calling was deserved and might even have been needed to sink into people’s thick heads. Of course, there had also better not be repeats of yesterday. We are supposed to be a family and you two will start trying to get along. If I reinstate the sass jar, you will be dropping money into it as well, Finn…and some of yours will come from doing and saying things that common sense says you should not do or say.”

Kurt sighed and nodded. Finn kicked Kurt under the table again, hard enough to push the chair back again.

“Finn, you will start being punished for that type of behavior. Whether you lose allowance money or are stripped of your ability to watch TV or use the computer or play video games or even see or talk to friends, this pushing people and hitting and kicking when you get annoyed will stop.”

“Mom!” Finn yelled to Carole.

“Burt, you know boys act like that, at least real ones. It is how they let their feelings out.” Carole said.

“Huh. Oddly enough every single parenting book I have ever read said to stop that behavior and make kids use their words.” Burt said. “And if I reinstate the sass jar, you and I will contribute when we have over stepped into rude, crude or mean behavior as well…like the real boy comment there.”

“Excuse me?” Carole said. The look of disbelief on Carole’s face for Burt calling her on it was almost humorous if he hadn’t had enough of it already.

“Just because we are adults doesn’t mean we can just say what we want without thinking through how those around us will be affected by what we say. Especially things like that. It served no purpose whatsoever except as a jab.”

“Burt, I don’t think I like the tone you are using towards me and how this conversation is going. You have been unfair to Finn and I all day today, and yesterday, and…just the whole time.” Carole said, pushing her chair back and getting ready to leave.

“I have been unfair to EVERYONE in this house by not having this conversation ages ago and it’s been UNFAIR to me. So sit the fuck down.” Burt yelled.

Carole sat. Her look was a mix between shock and fury, but she sat. Kurt wrote notes in his note book and Finn looked like someone had slammed a door in his face.

“We became a family and we had better start acting like one. So far we have NOT. I will not play father to THREE teens, Carole and I have been doing so since way before Thanksgiving. Enough. Kurt go fetch Carole two pain pills and some water.”

Kurt jumped up and got the pills for Carole. Burt looked at his list. He started to speak again as soon as Kurt sat back down.


	14. Chapter 14

“We have Holiday Traditions and the issues surrounding driving left to discuss…at least for now. We will come back to the job thing after the driving thing, but possibly not today. Are we ready?” Burt asked.

“Let’s do Holiday stuff.” Finn said.

“Kurt, pull out paper for notes.” Burt said. “One sheet for each major holiday.”

“What are major holidays?” Finn asked.

“Well, that is a good start, Finn. What are the main holidays you celebrate?” Burt asked.

“Thanksgiving, Christmas, 4th of July….” Finn said. “Oh, my birthday!”

“Nothing else?” Kurt asked, with a bit of disbelief.

“What else is there?”

“Easter? Memorial Day? Veterans’ day? Labor Day? New Year’s?”

“Oh, I guess we do Easter and New Year’s…oh and Valentine’s day.”

“Mother’s day? Father’s day?”

Finn shrugged.

“Kurt, add Saint Patrick’s day and Halloween.”

“Oh, yeah, I celebrate Halloween.” Finn said.

“Now,” Burt said. “I want you to start listing things you do for each of the holidays Kurt calls out. IF you do not mention it, we won’t know it is important and therefore will not be able to include it in our traditions. Do we all understand?”

“I think this is silly.” Carole said. The empty water glass was sitting at her elbow and she was glaring at Kurt while rubbing her forehead. “I think we should just do things the way the majority of the people want it done, which means we do it how Finn and I want it done. Burt, you will obviously do it our way.”

“No.” Kurt said. “You aren’t the majority and you can’t make dad do things your way…especially when he doesn’t even know what your way is.”

“Remember, your dad said he’d start that sass jar, Kurt.” Carole replied.

“And Kurt’s comment wouldn’t qualify for it but yours might.” Burt said.

“Excuse me?” Carole asked. She turned the glare to Burt.

“I said I want everyone to list off the things they do for each holiday as Kurt calls them out. I wasn’t joking Carole. WE said we were going to be mixing traditions, equally. We haven’t. I haven’t been enjoying missing out on Hummel traditions. I want a mix. So list what you do and we will find a balance and mix of what is important to you and Finn and what is important to me and Kurt. So let’s start at the beginning of the year and move forward. New Year’s.”

“Ok,” Kurt said, writing New Year’s on top of a blank sheet in his notebook. “The first holiday is New Year’s Day.”

“We sleep.” Carole said. “We are generally at a party the night before. Not the same. We haven’t been to the same party in years. Last year I was at Janet’s party…you know, the one from work who likes to go clubbing in Columbus. It was a nice party; she brought in a live DJ. I think Finn was at that Nelson kid’s house.”

Finn shook his head. “Nah, we started off there but then his parents came home and so we went to some friend of Azimio’s who lives by the university somewhere…I can’t remember where…I ended up at Strando’s house…I think it was his house. It is still fuzzy.”

Burt coughed. “I see we need to add under-age drinking to the list to be spoken about still.”

“You can’t really mean that.” Carole said.

“I do.” Burt said.

“But Kurt drank last year and puked on Miss Pillsbury.” Finn said.

“And they both ended up in the ER and Kurt ended up grounded and worked for free for two weeks. Or rather he donated his check to the food bank and woman’s shelter. He also had to do community service hours. I think we settled on 14, and he had to speak with a counselor about the dangers of under-age drinking. And he had to accompany me on two DUI tows and a crash involving a drunk driver.”

Kurt nodded.

“God, you are so lame.” Finn said.

“I am lame?” Burt asked.

“No, Kurt. No wonder he is so weird and…” Finn trained off.

Burt looked at him but Finn refused to meet his face.

“Next time I get a call to come tow a totaled car due to someone driving drunk…I am bringing you with me. If we’re in luck, you won’t have to scrape brain matter off a broken windshield, window or steering wheel to get it onto the truck.” Burt said.

Kurt shivered.

“Well what do you do?” Carole asked.

“We host a New Year’s Eve party at the house for everyone who works at the shop and their families. I invite everyone who worked for me during the year before, including those who had apprenticeships here or who trained here. Kurt runs games and movies in the basement for kids and we play cards and watch games or movies up here. Everyone stays over for breakfast the next morning, so even those who drink won’t be out on the roads.” Burt said. “Remember, I invited you last year.”

“Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Janet’s sounded better because I know those girls and how fun they get.” Carole said.

“So…” Kurt said.

“We will host the Garage Party here.” Burt said. “Is anyone opposed to breakfast?”

“Do I have to cook it?” Carole said.

“No, Kurt generally cooks it.” Burt said.

“I make up breakfast burritos and sticky buns the day before during the day when I’m making the food for the party and then start putting stuff in the oven and making fry ups or breakfast bowls when people start waking up.” Kurt states.

“I guess that can still happen. I don’t promise to go though, not if something else sounds better.” Carole said. “It sounds boring.”

“I personally don’t see how it could be more boring than drinking at Janet’s.” Burt said.

“That’s not all we do…like last year there were like dancers and strippers and stuff.” Carole said.

Burt just looked at her with his eye brows raised.

“Carole, we are both well past our 20s. We have teen sons…not even young teens.”

“So what? You want me to stay home and twiddle my thumbs? Read boring books? Knit maybe?” Carole snapped.

“You could stay here and play cards with us, or we could play bingo like you seem to be fond of and we could dance here.”

Carole huffed.

“Ok…” Kurt said loudly. “I have written for our New Year’s ‘things to do’ so far…the Hummel’s Tires and Lube New Year’s Party complete with breakfast. Naps during the day. Does anyone object to the task oriented part of the Hummel New Year’s Day traditions?”

“What are those?” Finn asked.

“We switch all the batteries in the fire and carbon monoxide detectors and review the safety plans. We can do it in the late afternoon so it doesn’t interfere with naps.” Kurt said.

“You what?” Finn asked.

“The smoke alarm that beeped when you burned your grilled cheese a few weeks ago? The disk thing on the ceiling right outside the kitchen? It needs batteries and I change them on New Year’s Day. Also on Flag day. The ones upstairs and in the basement too.”

“Oh. It does? I thought it was plugged in.” Finn said.

“It needs to work even when the power is out, Finn. It doesn’t plug in.” Kurt said.

“Huh. What’s that other part?”

“The safety plan?” Kurt asked.

“Yeah.”

“You know…how you would evacuate the house in case of fire or in case we had to because the police needed us to. Where we would meet up in case we had to evacuate. Making sure all our contact numbers are correct and intact and still willing to be contacts.” Kurt said.

Carole and Finn looked at him blankly.

“Oh, wait. Like we had to do that one time when I was in cub scouts!” Finn shouted suddenly with a look of comprehension in his eyes.

“Probably.” Kurt said.

“Yes, Kurt, we will do that. We will also serve cabbage of some sort for dinner. I will not risk my great-grandmother coming to haunt me if we ditch that.” Burt said. “Finn’s plans will be discussed later.”

“Not fair.” Finn said.

“We’ll discuss them with the underage drinking.” Burt said. “That will be stopping while you live here.”

“But…”

“I’m not kidding, Finn. You are coming with me the next tow call for a drunken driving tow. You will see why you won’t be drinking like that.” Burt looked at Kurt. “Next Holiday. Do you guys do anything for Martin Luther King, Jr.’s day?”

“Complain about not getting out of school?” Finn asked.

“Nothing. If I work I go to work if not I stay home and do home stuff.” Carole said.

“I listen to his speeches and work at the shop so the two African Americans who work at the shop can have the day off for sure.” Kurt said. “Nothing really family traditional.”

Burt nodded. “Then Valentine’s Day is next.”

“I make waffles for breakfast and give my dad a homemade card.” Kurt said.

“I keep his homemade cards and give him a box of chocolates. I gave one to Finn this last year too.” Burt said.

“You make your dad a card?” Finn asked.

“Yes, don’t you give your mom anything?” Kurt asked.

“No. She gives me stuff.”

Kurt shook his head.

“You make breakfast again?” Carole asked.

“Yes. I make breakfast a lot. Dad and I often celebrate mostly during breakfasts for non-major holidays. That way Dad can take someone out on a date for dinner.” Kurt said. “You know…like he did this last Valentine’s Day…”

“If I don’t go out we make dinner together and watch an action film. I get to choose which one.” Burt said. 

“So any objections?” Kurt said.

“What are you writing down?” Carole demanded.

Kurt sighed. “Date night, waffle breakfast, gifts from parents. Cards to parents.”

“I don’t think you should go around expecting stuff.” Carole said.

Kurt rolled his eyes. ”Ok…how about we change that, then. Chocolates from Dad to Kurt and maybe Finn. Card to Burt from Kurt and maybe Finn.”

“Don’t forget my stuff from mom.” Finn said.

“Finn gets stuff from Carole.” Kurt said as he wrote it down.

“What about a card to me?” Carole asked.

“If I can get Finn to do cards.” Kurt said.

“What about from you?” Carole snapped.

Kurt sighed and closed his eyes.

“Are you getting him something?” Burt asked.

“Huh?” Carole said.

“You want Kurt to make or get you a card, but you told him not to expect stuff, making it pretty clear he wasn’t to expect things from you. Why should he write down making sure you get a card from him?”

“Because he wrote down making sure you get a card.” Carole replied.

“And he’d been making me Valentine’s Cards since he was one years old. It is tradition.”

“But if he makes one for you he should have to get me one, too. He should have to get everyone who lives here one.” Carole said.

“And yet you shouldn’t have to get him anything?” Burt asked.

“He’s not my son. He’s yours.”

Burt clenched his jaw and fisted his hands. “Carole…I thought we went over this. We are trying to be a family here. Not YOU and YOURS and ME and MINE. US all together. STOP!”

“Dad…your heart.” Kurt said softly. “Let’s just move on…I doubt they do anything for President’s Day and ours isn’t really something we have to do so let’s move to St. Patrick’s Day and then Easter.”

“Kurt…” Burt started.

“Dad. Let’s get this done. Ok?” Kurt said.

“Ok. St. Patrick’s Day?”

“We go to Cleveland for the Parade and stay at Finn’s dad’s parent’s house. Finn and his cousins do stuff at the house afterwards and the adults go out drinking at some of the pubs.” Carole said. “They have asked we still do that so Finn can see his cousins and grandparents. Burt can come. Kurt probably shouldn’t miss school. I’m sure we can find some way for him to stay someplace while we go, like at Rachel’s or something. He shouldn’t stay at the house alone now that Finn and I live here. It wouldn’t be good for him to do that anymore, not with all our stuff here now. If it is close enough to the weekend we can make a weekend get-away out of it. Burt, you could take me shopping and out to eat and we could watch some sort of game or movie or show or something. Finn could come with us if it was a game.”

Kurt was writing frantically in his notebook and Burt had to take a few minutes to decide whether or not to comment on the whole leaving Kurt alone at the house bit. He decided not to, but noted it down as something to come back to later if needed.

“Or it could be a family vacation. We could watch the parade and then while Finn hangs with his grandparents and cousins and you go out to pubs with your in-laws, Kurt and I could go do something. The next day we could go do something as a family…like a game or museum. Then while the boys were at the hotel, or Kurt was at the hotel if Finn stayed with relatives, you and I could go out to eat.” Burt said.

“I don’t think Finn’s dad’s family wants Kurt there.” Carole said.

“Kurt wouldn’t have to be near them at any point, except maybe while we watched the parade. It would be a wonderful chance for Kurt and I to do things in Cleveland together and yet us all also be able to do things in Cleveland together.” Burt said.

Carole huffed.

“Maybe you and Kurt should just stay home.” Carole replied.

“If you stay home, you can go to Jake’s St Paddy’s Extravaganza, Dad.” Kurt said. “And I’ll make green pancakes for breakfast and something with corned beef and potatoes for dinner for me.”

Kurt wrote down Carole and Finn spend St Patrick’s Day with Finn’s dad’s family and Kurt and Burt eat green pancakes and Burt will go to Jake’s like usual under March 17th. The next page was started with Easter written across the top.


	15. Chapter 15

“We dye eggs and eat deviled eggs and make each other baskets for Easter.” Kurt said. “And sometimes Dad might hide eggs for me but not always.”

Carole looked at Burt.

“We go to church.” Carole said.

“We haven’t gone to church since I was in fourth grade.” Finn said.

“Finn, stop lying. We go to church.” Carole repeated.

“When did we go last year or the year before or at any time since I was in fourth grade? Was that the place we went to see the Easter bunny and the place you got the bottle of wine from after talking to the curly haired guy that almost looked like Mr. Schue and who you spent time giggling with last year?” Finn asked.

“No, that was the Easter Egg hunt at the court house, Finn.”

“Then we haven’t been to church in ages and ages.” Finn said. “Mom makes a big dinner with Ham and potatoes and invites over other ladies she works with and they bring salads and stuff and everyone brings enough Easter eggs for each person there of some type and then everyone hides their eggs in different sections of the place and when mom shouts go we have to find eggs from each person. Last year Nola brought eggs that had little lipsticks stuffed in them for everyone though. That wasn’t cool. Karen puts dollar bills in her eggs, though, every year.”

“Carole, will you be wanting to do this party with the girls you work with?” Burt asked.

“We decided to move it to Karen’s house since she moved into a nice house over by the Fabrays. I’ll be going there for Easter dinner. Oh, and we all decided no kids. Those of us with little kids will do early Easter hunts and those of us with older kids will not have to worry.”

“So, Finn, what would you like to do for Easter?” Burt asked.

“I think that egg dying stuff sounds good…and can we at least have ham?” Finn asked. “And maybe find some eggs? I liked the egg hunting part, even if mom’s co-workers sometimes put weird stuff in them.”

Burt nodded. “We can…Kurt write down Ham and potatoes and deviled eggs for dinner and egg hunt and dying eggs and baskets of some sort, even we just get them to gather eggs in. Now, Kurt start pages for Mother’s day and Memorial day and Father’s day and Flag day.”

Kurt listed those holidays on the top of pages in the notebook while Finn watched.

“Finn, what do you guys do for Mother’s day?” Burt asked.

Finn shrugged.

“Do you take your mother out to eat?” Burt asked.

“I don’t think so.” Finn said.

“Get her a card?” Burt asked.

“No. I only get mom a card for her Birthday…if I remember.”

“We go out to eat.” Carole said. “And I get flowers.”

“You get flowers?” Finn asked. “From who?”

Carole rolled her eyes. “I buy them for myself.”

“Okaaay,” Burt said. “For Mother’s day we will take Carole out to dinner. Kurt and Finn will pay. Kurt will remind Finn to save up for this. Finn will buy his mom a card…Kurt will help him. And Carole will get flowers that she won’t buy for herself. Got it?”

“Got it, Dad.”

“While on that topic. I don’t want flowers, but I would like to see a card and dinner out for Father’s day. Anything else done for Finn’s dad will be fine. Likewise, Kurt and I will keep our Mother’s day traditions for his mom.”

Kurt nodded. That was written on the page for Father’s Day.

“You boys will put up and take down the flag properly on flag day.” Burt said. “Finn, Kurt will make sure you know how to do this if you don’t remember how from cub scouts. Also write down our half year safety review. That gets us to memorial day.”

“When is that one?” Finn asked.

“The end of May,” Kurt said. “Near my birthday. On Memorial Day we go and put flowers on the gravesite of Dad’s mentor and two of his friends who’d been in Vietnam. We don’t do Mom’s because we just put some out for Mother’s day and then we go the start of June on the day she died and put some out. If we time it right we watch the people do the ceremony at the graveyard. One guy plays Taps on his bugle and the POW motorcycles are there. Then we have a big barbeque with the people who work in the shop in the backyard and fire up the grill for the first time for the season.”

“I think we go swimming.” Finn said. “Or stay home and try to get the work I need done to pass for the year finished.”

“Yeah,” Burt said. “That had better not be a problem this year, because that means you didn’t do your homework right after school like you were supposed to. Where do you go swimming?”

“The big water park…with the slides.” Carole answered. “We generally do that Sunday, though.”

“Nice. We can do all of it then. Do you do anything special for Finn’s dad?” Burt asked.

Carole glared at him.

Burt sighed.

“Fine. For Kurt’s Birthday, I will be taking him out. We will either go to a movie or a play. We may do both. We also go out to dinner, just Kurt and I. If he has a Birthday Party it is always the Saturday or Sunday closest to his birthday. Sometimes his party is combined with the Memorial Day barbeque.”

“What about gifts?” Carole asked.

“What about gifts?” Burt asked back.

“What kind of gifts are you going to get him? How much are you going to spend on him?”

“I’ll decide that closer to his Birthday unless I see something in the after Christmas sales to buy for it.” Burt said. “Furthermore, I don’t see how it matters. Kurt may or may not get something big, he may or may not get a few small things, and he may or may not get things more geared towards experiences. Kurt will tell me what he’d like or need at some point and then I’ll look at what he mentioned and decide if it is something I get him. Last year he got a new laptop after the one he’d had for four years died and four extra new pairs of pants because he’d grown several inches really fast. One year he got an IPod.”

“What about his car?” Finn said. “He said he got his SUV for his birthday.”

“He did but not like you seem to be thinking. We bought it after it had been in a wreck and after being assured that it was safely fixable. Kurt and I did all the repair work and Kurt paid for the inspections to reassure me of its safety. He didn’t just get it.”

“But…”

“Well, Finn expects big items…none of this experience stuff. TVs, Video game systems, a truck.” Carole said. “He needs things like that for holidays and his birthday.”

“We’ll see. I won’t buy new stuff just for kicks and giggles. We don’t play the ‘newest and biggest’ game in this house. If he needs it, or his is so old it isn’t useable, maybe. And until I have been convinced Finn should legally be driving, I’m not buying him a truck, not even the way I bought Kurt his vehicle.”

“Burt, that is not fair. I hope you don’t expect me to follow that. Finn is used to getting good stuff for his birthday. I don’t plan on changing that. You will give him good stuff, too. Nothing silly like an experience. I won’t allow you to treat him like that. You will get him whatever he asks for, even if he just got a new whatever he wants a week before. That is how it works. Stop being so stupid about this.” Carole said.

“ You know what Kurt’s ‘experience’ was last…” Burt started.

“Dad, just don’t. It’s all good.” Kurt said. “I started a page called Birthdays…under Kurt it says things stay the same…find out what is expected for Carole and Finn please.”

“Kurt…”

“Dad, later.” Kurt said. “We need to finish this.”

“Fine. Finn, what do you do for your birthday?”

“I have a huge party and get lots of presents and mom takes me out to eat someplace cool sometime near that day. We eat ice cream and cake and pizza.” Finn said. “This year, Mom paid for a DJ to come and it was awesome and then she headed out to her date with you and she stayed out really late and there was like no real grownups there and Nelson brought some…umm…never mind.”

Burt was looking at Carole and writing down things and Kurt was writing down notes.

“Yeah, that isn’t happening at my house.” Burt said. “However, we can write down Birthday party for Finn with cake and ice cream and pizza. Any specifics?”

“Huh?” Finn asked.

“Do you always have the same kind of cake, Finn? Or Ice cream?” Kurt said.

“Oh…chocolate cake and like ice cream sundaes.”

“Carole?” Burt asked.

“We go out to eat and Finn buys me a card and I get myself a gift from him.”

Kurt turned to Finn with wide eyes. “Your mother has to buy her own Birthday gift to herself from you?”

“Well…gifts cost money, Kurt.” Finn said.

“And she gave you a huge allowance, Finn.” Kurt said.

“But that money was for me and my stuff.”

“Are you kidding me?” Kurt said. “Finn will buy you a gift. Do you want dad to take you out or Finn?”

“Both should take me out...Somewhere real nice on your dad’s and my date and then Finn and I on my actual birthday. Oh, I also want a cake, something nice. Big. With a filling and decorated.”

“On her last birthday her cake was like four layers and had all these flowers on it made of icing that she got from that one expensive bakery that does the fancy wedding cakes in town and mom’s friends came over and ate it and brought so many wine coolers that there were ones left for when Puck came over the next week so we took them to…”

“Finn!” Carole snapped.

Kurt wrote her wishes down and made notes. “Dad, do you want anything different for your birthday? I expect Carole will treat you to dinner for your date night? So anything different on your birthday dinner?”

“No. “

“What does Burt do for his birthday?” Carole asked.

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Dad fires up the grill for the last time of the season and we have a huge barbeque with everyone from the garage and whoever else shows up and we eat cupcakes of all sorts. Everything but the meat is pot luck. Then the nearest weekend after Dad’s birthday we clean the grill and pack it away for the winter. This year we missed it. I cleaned the grill right before Dad asked you to marry him. You didn’t even give him a card or gift or anything.”

“That’s not fair,” Carole said. “I wanted him to take me out for dinner but he couldn’t, so I decided we’d wait.”

“Shouldn’t you take HIM out for dinner for HIS birthday?” Kurt asked. “And that does NOT explain away the lack of gift or card.”

“Women don’t take men out.” Carole said.

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Sure they do. Especially decent and good and kind women who have giving and loving hearts. My mom took my dad out all the time to celebrate things…and she did so with whatever she made giving piano lessons or taking in a seamstress job or even going and cleaning someone’s house for a few bucks. Furthermore in modern couples most share the financial burden of date nights. I can find you multiple articles on that. All the important and beautiful people are doing it that way now-a-days.”

“Kurt…” Burt warned.

Kurt pushed his lips together and just started writing again. “Ok…Fine…I think we are to the 4th of July.”


	16. Chapter 16

“Mom said this coming year, now that you guys got married, that we’d buy fireworks and I could light off our own….good ones, too. You know those that have multiple rounds to them and go way high and are loud and everyone in the neighborhood could see.” Finn said.

“No.” Burt said.

“But we can afford them.” Finn said.

“No.” Burt said. “I don’t know if you are aware of this, Finn, but they are illegal within city limits and 9 times out of 10 are banned outside city limits due to the dryness and heat and fire risk.”

“So?” Finn said.

Burt looked at Carole, who shrugged.

“So, we do not to do illegal things in this household. That is one of the reasons we are having a nice long chat about you driving anything soon and your apparent drinking problems. Now…do you and your mom have any traditions that you do for the Fourth of July?”

Finn shrugged. Burt turned to Carole.

“We’ve been going to Bobby’s but Finn hasn’t been happy with that since he was banned from playing with fireworks there after he set his cousin’s hair on fire a few years ago. None of the kids are allowed near the fireworks anymore, that was a rough year, but really Bobby over reacted. Finn didn’t mean to set Mandy’s hair on fire and Molly did not mean to hit Rex with the sparkler and I am certain Jamie didn’t mean to light his mom’s flower bed on fire either. Granted I do think Gabe and Matty did mean to start something on fire but I don’t think they thought the shed would burn like it did and light all the extra fireworks Bobby had stored away for their Christmas Day fireworks. Luckily Daddy was friends with the fire chief and the mayor and so they didn’t end up having to pay for the fire department response. ”

Burt just stared.

“What?” Carole said. Burt was getting annoyed with the whole ‘don’t you dare think I’ve done something wrong’ face he’d been watching her pull all morning.

“Ok. I think that perhaps we should stay here in Lima and enjoy the festivities here. We can watch the fireworks display and go see the car show and enjoy whatever is playing on the stage.” Burt said.

“Isn’t that hosted by like…rivals?” Carole asked.

Burt rolled his eyes. “It is a community thing and I like supporting the community, Carole.”

“Well, I still think we should just have a big party here and do our own fireworks. Finn wants to set them off so badly.”

“No.”

“I promised him fireworks, Burt.” Carole said.

“No. Not at my house. Not driving anywhere in cars that I cover insurance wise. Not attached to my name.”

“Burt…”

“No. Kurt make a page for back to school and labor day and Halloween.”

“What should I put down on the 4th? Kurt asked.

“Nothing right now.”

“Well, what do you do for the 4th?” Carole said.

“Until this last summer, we had a float in Findley’s parade and then booths at the town celebrations of various places around us. Kurt and I would man one, Jake and his wife another, Wade and someone would take one, and Robbie and several friends would do one. Hank is always in Alaska for the Fourth of July. Then we would come back into town and go to the car show…sometimes we would bring something we were restoring to it. Then we would come here and barbeque something for dinner and then go watch the fireworks. However, this past summer we didn’t get any of it organized and Jake and Robbie couldn’t do anything anyway, so we just didn’t. Kurt and I went to dinner at Wade’s and watched the fireworks.”

“Oh, that doesn’t sound too bad. I’m sure you made a great deal of money at your booths and that is always good.” Carole said. “Maybe we should do that next year too. You and I could do the booth instead.”

“It would be fun, but I didn’t think it would be something you like,” Burt said.

“Why not? What did you sell? I mean, I will not sell cotton candy or baked goods I have to make, but icy treats would be fine I guess…at least if it was just one day. And I don’t like manning a grill but if I had to I guess I could do hotdogs or something.”

“We didn’t sell things, Carole. We ran a children’s games booth. We did a duck pond and a fishing booth, usually.”

“You at least made money off it, right?” Carole asked.

Burt looked to Kurt, who shrugged and made a so-so motion with his hands.

“Look, we buy about a thousand bucks worth of little toys…bouncy balls, bracelets, crayon sets, stickers, hats, stuffed animals, hackie sacks, yoyos, hair ribbons…little things and spend about 600 bucks on candies to be used a prizes and thrown at the parade. We split them between the different booths and games and then we run the booths until it’s time to head out and back here for the car show or we run out. We charge 25 cents to play both games. Sometimes we add a soda toss. We have fun and sometimes we get new customers.”

“Why would you do that?” Carole asked.

“It gives to the communities and we have fun. It gives more options for families at the different July 4th gatherings. Finally, it is great business.”

“People let Kurt around little kids?” Finn asked.

“And that is the type of comment that Finn will have to pay into the sass jar for making, as well as pure sass.” Burt said. “And that also might get him grounded.”

“Mom!”

“By my calculations we end up with about six to ten new loyal customers after each Fourth of July Celebration we sent people to.” Kurt said. “We usually do not make money on that day, though.”

Carole shook her head. “I take it back. I don’t think we should do that next 4th of July. I just don’t understand why you do these things, Burt.”

“What things?”

“Those stupid boxes at the shop, this July 4th thing, that whole charity shopping thing you want us to do…it’s just ridiculous.” Carole said. “I just don’t see the point.”

“To help out those in the community that are less fortunate than we are?” Kurt said.

“But we don’t have the money to do that!” Carole snapped.

Kurt glared at Carole and Burt decided to let Kurt speak.

“Carole, when was the last time you went hungry because you did not have food and had no money to get it?” Kurt asked.

“Umm…” Carole stammered.

“Finn, can you remember a time when you were so poor you did not have food? Not when your mom worked long hours to provide you with it, but where even with that you had none?” Kurt asked.

Finn shook his head.

“Carole, were you ever at any point in time without a job and unable to provide for Finn and yourself?”

“Well, when we first moved here after Finn’s dad died and I hadn’t started my job yet…”

“So, your job moved you here? You had a job?”

“Yeessss.”

“And at no time were you out of it?” Kurt asked.

“I changed jobs since then.” Carole said.

“But were you without a job or did you have the next one lined up?”

“I had it lined up.” Carole said quietly.

“How many did years did Finn qualify for free or reduced lunch?” Kurt asked.

“None. I always made too much and it is just Finn and I.” Carole said.

“How many birthdays did Finn not get anything because you could not afford it?”

“None.”

“Christmases?” Kurt asked.

“None.”

“How many times did he start back to school without new clothing? Or any supplies?”

“Never. Ok! But it was never a lot, it wasn’t what we deserved. We aren’t rich!” Carole snapped.

“Then you have plenty of money to give some to others every once in a while…I never said you were rich.” Kurt said. “Sure, you might not have the best of everything but you never went without, so you have enough to spare every once in a while. We aren’t talking about going out and giving to people every single day of the year. We aren’t talking about always covering everything ourselves. We allow others in the community who would like to help out to do so…even if all they can give is a few coins or a few cans of food or a coat their kid outgrew. It allows us to help in our community, to be a part of it. By the way, we also put together 15 to 20 backpacks worth of school supplies and donate them in August and do Angel Tree gifts as well before Christmas. Dad will call about those on Friday and we’ll go shopping this Saturday. So…nothing written under July Fourth yet, and we are to Back-To-School.”

“That is not a holiday.” Finn said.

“No, but it might involve traditions. What do you do to mark the end of summer and start of the school year?” Burt asked.

“Huh?”

“Do you have an end of summer party? Do you do back to school shopping?” Burt asked.

Kurt sighed. “For example, Finn, my dad buys me one whole new outfit, minus the shoes, which he finds acceptable to be seen in Yearbook photos. It isn’t part of my clothing money. That is all the ‘Back to school’ clothes I get because I have such a nice clothing budget. Well…except those purchases he mention earlier, like underwear and socks. We also go and get all the stuff I need school supply wise…doubled. That way we get it on sale for the next semester as well. Dad usually takes me someplace the week before school starts…his choice, so that generally means camping or fishing or such. And we go to the state fair and the county fair. Oh…and we do the backpacks.”

“Oh…umm…mom puts a pile of clothes on my bed and I’ve held end of summer parties since I was like 11 or 12. The first was before Junior High. It’s just a party party…music, food, whatever…you know. The last few years mom went out so we could have lot of real fun, you know.” Finn said.

“Yeah, again, not happening,” Burt said.

“I usually take him shopping once and we try on stuff…or I get his size from his uniform orders.” Carole explained. “Finn doesn’t like shopping that much.”

“I do…for fun stuff, but clothes are boring.” Finn said. “On the day she makes me try stuff on she also gets me a new game or movie or something like that. This fall I got a new phone, too.”

“So…If you have a party it will be supervised and reasonable,” Burt said. “However it is an option under those conditions. We will buy one school outfit and supplies…no bribes. I think if we are smart Finn won’t need a pile of new clothes set out for him anyway, because we’ll have done that shopping every month so it won’t be a necessity.”

“Yes he will,” Carole answered. “He can’t wear his summer clothes to school. He’ll need new clothing.”

“Kurt always has new school clothes.” Finn said.

“Kurt spends his 100 for August on school clothing and has a job which allows him to buy what he needs. Kurt also shops for clothing year round and saves stuff.” Kurt answered. “He also doesn’t just buy summer clothes with his summer money.”

“Don’t do that, it is disturbing.” Carole said.

“I generally buy his jacket and gym type shoes right before school.” Burt said. “And I listed other things bought at school time. I just don’t see why anyone needs to spend hundreds of bucks on clothing at one time when they could spread it out.”

“He has to spend all that money earlier on summer clothes.” Carole said.

“Carole, you are making it sound like Finn has more clothing than Kurt. If he is spending upwards of two hundred bucks on t-shirts and shorts alone, he needs to shop elsewhere.”

“Well, to be fair he probably does own more summer clothing than I do.” Kurt said. “I only buy a few pairs of shorts and a few t-shirts for summer and one nice outfit in case it is needed. I work so much that I am mostly in uniform.”

“How much does he work, Burt?” Carole asked. “How much goes to paying Kurt?”

Kurt sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Carole, Kurt is an employee, just like the rest. He gets regular hours which depend on the season and he gets a regular paycheck. The only thing that is a bit different from his paycheck versus say… Robbie’s…is that his benefits are a bit different because he is a minor and falls under my healthcare stuff. He gets paid different for his hours towards certifications than his non-certification hours as well.”

“He should just work for free.” Carole said.

“The Union does not think so.”

“Well, Finn had better get twice Kurt’s pay when he starts working there. After all he is bigger and so can do more.”

“Finn gets less than half Kurt’s pay until he is certified and joins the union.” Burt said.

“You can’t do that!”

“Carole, I know we went over this when I hired Finn and Puck so they could pay for the replacement of those tires they slashed. Workers who are not certified are limited in what they can legally do. IF Finn wants to apprentice and learn all he needs to know for certification…the pay changes while he is doing so. It changes again when he is certified. Until then…he gets what he gets and gets to do what he can legally do. Pay is skill level and certification and union based. Of course, Finn stopped coming by as soon as he’d worked the hours needed to pay those tires off…even though he was offered time to work still.”

“Working was cutting into his free time and the time he could spend with his friends.” Carole replied. “He shouldn’t have to work so much as a kid.”

“He was working two hours a week.” Burt said.

“He had to cancel a date!”

“At 10am?” Burt said.

“No, in the evening, but he had to go hang with the guys instead of go out on his date because he missed going off with the guys earlier.”

“Seriously?” Burt asked. “That is ridiculous.”


	17. Chapter 17

“We have a large barbeque for Labor Day,” Kurt said, bringing the conversation back to holidays. It was abrupt and awkward but it was back to Holidays. “I wrote down the back-to-school stuff Dad just listed. Anyway…We provide all the food…well, us and Jake. It is in honor of all our workers. It won’t be changing. Just thought you’d like to know. That was what you were invited to the Monday the week before Dad’s heart attack…you know that thing you said you’d come to but never showed up for.”

“We went boating with some of Mom’s friends. Labor Day is about doing your last big summer fun things anyway…it’s not meant to honor anyone.” Finn said. “That is just stupid.”

“Finn, you should really look up how certain holidays came to be and what they were created for one of these eons.” Kurt answered.

“Kurt…”

“Yes, Dad.”

“Are there any traditions you do for Labor Day?” Burt asked.

“Just go have fun. Sometimes Mom lets me throw a party. Maybe there is a football game.” Finn just shrugged.

Kurt wrote down “normal labor day stuff like Kurt and Burt have had it since Burt became part owner of the shop” and Finn went to complain but Carole shook her head.

“Next is Halloween.” Kurt said.

“I love Halloween. We go trick or treating then head to a Halloween party. This year was kinda lame…I mean Mike and I got stuck taking Puck’s little sister and her friends trick-or-treating and so we went with them and didn’t get much candy. Can you believe people gave more candy to Puck’s sister and her friends than us bigger kids? But we told Puck we’d help and so we did. And by the time I got to the Adams’ house for the party they’d done the fun stuff and sure it was blast drinking and playing games and stuff but I missed out on the fun. We got more candy than we did Freshman year when everyone told us we were too old…of course then we had real fun after that so it didn’t matter…and sophomore year I didn’t even go to anything good because Quinn was still lying the her folks and so she made me help with her church’s harvest festival and that was way stupid. But freshman year was a blast. Puck didn’t come but the Nelsons and the Adams and I took out Azimio’s older brother’s truck and the Nelsons provided eggs and we just drove around town throwing them at places whenever Adams’ stopped. It was a…”

“Finn…” Carole warned him, trying to stop him from talking more.

“What Mom? You’re interrupting. I’m sure Burt is getting kick out of this. He was into sports and stuff when he was young so he was sure to have done stuff like egg cars and buildings and throw pee balloons. I mean all the popular kids do things like that unless they are goody two shoes or pricks who are just popular because they have tons of money but who no one really wants to be friends with.”

“I’d love to hear more Carole.” Burt said sternly. “I have names now that I can inform the police of. I mean, I doubt anything will be done except give them some kids to look into when these things happen again.”

“What?” Finn shouted. “You can’t do that! You said yourself you were like us!”

“When I thought you were being insensitive and thoughtless with your words and maybe possibly some slight bullying, again mostly in the name calling department.” Burt said. “However…I can see that you boys have become menaces not only at school but to the whole community. You egged peoples businesses and homes, Finn. You committed crimes. You committed assaults. That is beyond name calling and using words inappropriately.”

“But you said you were a ball player.”

“And we didn’t do things like that. I, myself, did something that could be considered vandalism once. My momma pulled me by the ear to the neighbors and made me wash the mud off the side of her house and then I had to do her chores for three months….for free. Mama and all the other parents nipped it in the bud while we were still five and six and throwing mud and snow. If we did anything like what you just described and even a whisper made it to our coach, we were benched and some kids found themselves off the team for not straightening out their behavior…usually freshmen, upper classmen weren’t that stupid.”

“You can’t do anything. If you do, I’ll tell. I’ll tell everyone and they’ll make you sorry you did.” Finn said.

Carole moved to place her hand over her son’s mouth.

“He didn’t mean that Burt. But you should probably just let this be….I mean it was ages ago.”

“Was it, Carole? Your son stated he was upset he missed the fun this year and then went on to tell us what the fun was from Freshman year…sounds to me like they were at it again this year, too.”

“Yes, but what’s the big fuss. So someone’s house or business got eggs thrown at it.”

“Goldstein’s butcher’s shop was one that got egged three Halloweens ago. They also broke two windows. It cost Adam two thousand dollars to repair the windows. His family had to rely on donations of food and clothing to make it through the Holiday season because they had already been stretched thin due to illness in the family. It took a week to wash all of the egg of the store fronts. Not every one of those stores has extra people working who could do that. Many of the store owners are not as young as they once were. Time away to wash off egg and such is revenue lost. It is also just plain disrespectful.”

“Well, he wasn’t being disrespectful to you,” Carole said, removing her hand.

“Well actually,” Finn started…but Carole’s hand was back over his mouth.

“The shop was one of those businesses hit…it usually is. Even the house has been a target before. Would you like to clean up the next time Carole? I can make sure that happens.” Burt said.

“I am sure Finn had nothing to do with that…and if he was there…which I’m not saying he was…well it’s only because he was with friends and couldn’t really say no to them.” Carole said. “But…maybe next year he won’t go to a Halloween party like that. I’ll encourage him to like…help Quinn again or go to the Berry’s Halloween bash or something. Or he can stay home and hand out candy here. Unless Kurt does that.”

Burt made a humming noise and wrote down a few more things, then looked at Kurt. “If Finn stayed here then maybe we could have a booth of some sort at Meadows Elementary during their carnival and trunk-or-treat. Ellen Faraday asked this last summer and I had meant to look into for this Halloween, but it wasn’t feasible. We’d be checking and making sure Finn was here, of course. I am sure Carole doesn’t want him arrested, which is apt to happen if he goes out with his usual crowd, since I am turning those names into the cops, like it or not.”

“As long as I get to dress up.” Kurt said.

“Ok...write that down and we’ll see what happens come next October.” Burt said.

Carole was hissing in Finn’s ear as she held her hand over Finn’s mouth until he stopped trying to yell at Burt. Burt and Kurt just looked at them. Finally Finn stopped and Carole removed her hand.

Kurt nodded. “That brings us to everything Thanksgiving and Christmas.” Kurt said quietly.

Burt nodded.


	18. Chapter 18

“Ok…What is normal for your thanksgiving celebrations, Carole?” Burt asked. “Remember I know that the reason you had everyone over this year was supposedly so we could be introduced and get to know everyone without wedding stuff getting in the way.”

Carole glared and crossed her arms.

“I’ll ask Finn.” Burt said.

“Fine. This year’s was for the purpose of introducing everyone. If we hadn’t gotten married Finn and I would have gone to Finn’s father’s parents’ place and Thanksgiving would have been held there. It’s an every three year thing, we rotated between my folks in Toledo, Finn’s other grandparents, and our place. Everything was pretty normal except usually they all have to bring a part of the meal. Finn and I couldn’t afford to feed everyone. Next year should have been at my parent’s and just everyone from my side of the family is there…and Finn might have gone to spend Friday with his cousins on his dad’s side. But as it is Finn’s senior year all the family want it here again so they don’t have a fight over who Finn gets to see. Except it will be even bigger because my parent’s and Finn’s dad’s folks want all the in-laws there as well…so they don’t miss out on seeing anyone just because Finn is a senior. I told them we’d love to host it again. It was so fun and everyone really had a blast.”

Burt just stared.

“Of course they did,” muttered Kurt. “They didn’t have to do anything. They all got drunker than drunk and whined and complained and got to be rude all evening and didn’t have to watch their children at all.”

“Excuse me?” Carole said. “That didn’t sound very complimentary.”

“Yeah, probably not.” Kurt said louder.

“You can’t be mean to my family.” Finn said.

“Not being mean, just calling it as I see it.” Kurt said.

“Ok then…” Burt started. Carole and Finn smiled at Kurt in a smug way and Kurt glared back. “If we have a gathering again for Thanksgiving like that, especially if there is going to be even more people, some things will be changing. First, everyone will be given chores and tasks that they will doing in the weeks before the day to get the house ready for that many people. Not just Kurt. Finn will remember this or Finn will find himself grounded for the whole month of December. Also, we will not be providing all the food…we can make up food assignments and then provide our assigned items. I refuse. We wasted tons of money and tons of food because you guys refused to eat leftovers and so many people were way too picky. If people want specialty items then they will bring them themselves. We can do basics and basics alone. If Kurt hadn’t suggested seeing if people I work with could use leftovers or knew people who could, it would have been even worse. I will take Kurt to his movie on the Saturday after Thanksgiving, Kurt will get to go shopping on Black Friday, and we will follow Hummel tradition of getting up the Christmas lights that haven’t been hung yet and getting them ready to be turned on. We will hang the Christmas wreath on the door Sunday and put up the garlands inside the house.”

“But where is our traditions in all that?” Carole whined.

“That big Thanksgiving meal.” Burt said.

“But…”

“What of your traditions are missing Carole?” Burt asked. “The whole ridiculous day can happen again. We didn’t get rid of it. We just said things we were also going to do…that don’t interfere with your traditions. There will be changes, definitely. We will not be doing the whole drinking until no one can function thing unless all the children are somewhere where they do not have to see that at all and have adequate care until their respective parents aren’t compromised. My child will not be fixing any alcoholic beverages…that activity is NOT happening again. Not for the rest of this nor next year. He doesn’t have the license to do so and he is under age 21 and so cannot get one. Your child will not be fixing drinks either…as he isn’t yet 21. Kids do not mix drinks. Also, the whole making it so people couldn’t go places won’t happen either. Finn and a few others can’t block everyone else from being near them; no one can block people from rooms or activities. Whoever wants to be someplace can be where they want as long as whoever is being respectful and not purposefully causing problems. People purposefully causing problems will find themselves punished somehow. I have no qualms taking your nephews and putting them in a corner.”

“You can’t do that, Burt.”

“Oh, if you want your big party, you will find I can.” Burt said.

“I don’t think this is fair. l think we have to be missing some of our traditions in there somewhere,” Finn said. “It sounds like you and Kurt are getting more of what you guys wants and not us.”

“How do you figure?” Burt asked. “I’ve told you no about only a few things…all illegal. The only one we decided wasn’t being changed at all and kept whole without discussion was Labor Day, which isn’t just a Hummel tradition. It is one that has existed since that shop opened, every set of owners keeping it alive. I didn’t say you couldn’t do your normal activity either.”

“Yeah, but…but Mom said we wouldn’t have to change anything and we’d get to do things bigger and better. I’d be able to have more parties and they could be even louder and have even more people because this house is bigger and I’d never have to have Kurt at them if I didn’t want to or anyone else I didn’t want over and you wouldn’t do things we didn’t want to anymore and…”

“And your mom had no right to tell you those things without consulting me.” Burt said.

Finn seemed to ignore Burt and kept on ranting. “I’d be able to have girls over and no one would say anything and we could do whatever and be wherever in the house and…and she said we aren’t living close enough to anyone who mattered who might tattle that I’m not with Quinn or Rachel when I’m dating them so no one would tell either of them if I was with someone not them. And she promised me a new ride. A truck, with big tires all geared out and raised with tons of chrome and a tricked out stereo system that I will be allowed to blast all through town whenever I drive and with just the right detailing and brand new with top of the line insides and heated seats and better than Kurt’s car. And I would get the biggest and best room and Kurt wouldn’t get to be in it at all if I didn’t want him there…mom said you’d make him go sleep somewhere else and I’d get all his electronics and I’d get control of the TV up here and I’d get to watch all the games and all the movies I wanted and eat whatever I want wherever I want and she’d buy me a new TV and a new Xbox and a new bike and a new computer and all I had to do was cooperate better this time. And she wouldn’t even make me give back the new Wii and the new IPod she bought me last time, even though I tossed the fit and we didn’t have to move after all.”

“Oh for God’s sake, Finn stop saying things like that!” Carole shouted. “He is just kidding, Burt. You know I’d never tell him things like that.”

“You bribed him in springtime? I thought he didn’t know you guys planned on moving in?” Burt said.

“Of course I bribed him. He wasn’t happy we were moving because he didn’t see any benefits for himself in the move.”

“Can we just move onto the rest of the year?” Kurt said quietly. Burt looked at Kurt, who was white as a sheet and looked crushed. Finn smirked at Kurt and then looked like he was going to start saying something. His mother put her hand on his arm, though, and he stopped.

Burt and Carole glared at each other and at Finn glared at them both.


	19. Chapter 19

“What do the Hudsons do for Christmas season?” Kurt said.

“Well, we had the annual Christmas Lights party.” Finn said. “But apparently, the lights will already be up before December even starts.”

“They will.” Burt said. “However, I haven’t banned that annual party yet. We used to finish setting up the lights…adding the ones up the walkway and the small trees by the door…the first weekend of December. Also, there is no safety reason we need to set up your inflatables before December. You could still have your party and use it to set up the inflatables and put out the last of the lights and that could be the day we power them all up. Of course, only if you involve everyone who lives here and nothing like yesterday happens. Any sort of fighting or roughhousing or stupidity that happens, especially if people get hurt, will cause the party to stop and not start up again. By the way…that goes for all parties and gatherings.”

“Oh.” Finn said.

“Yeah, Oh. What else?” Burt said.

“Mom throws a girls night at our place and they have dinner and drinks and desserts and listen to music and play bingo and last year mom had a stripper come by.” Finn said. “He looked a lot like Jesse St. James.”

“It was Gillian’s 21st birthday two days before.” Carole said.

“And I tell mom what I want and she gets it for me and Santa brings me lots of big things I can brag about. And Santa leaves gifts under the tree but my full stocking is always on my Dad’s chair and always so full it spills out. Sometimes Santa even leaves an extra stocking he brought new just for me because I’m such a good boy and deserve such wonderful treats. And Dad’s family brings their presents to the Hudson Christmas Party during the day on the 24th…it is always over by 3pm so everyone can get to their homes for Santa to come. Everyone puts their gifts for each family in each family’s car…we’ll have to do that shopping soon. And all the gifts from Mom’s family are gathered at that Christmas Party…which is always the Saturday before Christmas Eve and it is at night, so we usually just head out early that morning and do fun things before the party and then drive home after the party and get home early Sunday and spend Sunday sleeping. That party has big boxes with each person’s name on it and we put each person’s gift in their box. Last year Uncle Bobby forgot to write out Molly’s fiancé’s and she cried for two hours until her dad fixed it, but then she cried because not everyone brought him gifts. They aren’t engaged anymore, which is good because she probably should finish school before being married. I can’t remember if mom asked if there was anyone new we needed to buy for…we should probably do that before the end of this week too, because I think the party is Saturday.”

“Wasn’t Molly one of the girl’s around Finn’s age?” Kurt asked.

“She’s a year younger.” Finn answered.

“Engaged?” Kurt squeaked.

“What? Uncle Bobby knew it would never last. He was wishy washy. Uncle Bobby figured if he just ignored it as best he could it would go away…and it did.”

“Burt, you can come to both.” Carole said, interrupting Finn. “I told everyone that Kurt would stay home and so not to bother buying him anything. Mom wasn’t sure what to get him.”

“Was he invited?” Burt asked.

“Well…I guess. Mom said for everyone to come but she didn’t know what Kurt would like, but like I said…I told them that Kurt would stay home so not to bother. I think he could probably go stay at Rachel’s or that black girl’s house for those two days. I was expecting him to stay at Dalton those days so it wouldn’t have been a problem.”

“Why would you do that?” Burt asked at the same time as Kurt commented “Does no one look at the calendar? It was marked the first weekend I came home from Dalton when the semester was over and I’d be home.”

“I was just concerned about everyone being comfortable, Burt. I figured Kurt wouldn’t want to be there either. I mean all he did during Thanksgiving was sit on the steps and sulk.” Carole started.

“Well, you didn’t give him any other options…and he asked several times over.” Burt said.

Carole ignored him and continued into her rant. “ And it’s not like you’ll be missing anything important because nothing should be more important that being with your family for holiday things. Oh, and I already called the shop to tell them you won’t be working Saturday. I know… we can use the money in the jars at the shop for buying the gifts for our family parties! I mean it probably won’t cover it all but we can use the family account for the rest. And then no one has to go out shopping for people who don’t belong to us. We should go and buy my mom that new stereo we saw that looked like an old fashioned radio and we should buy my dad a new TV. Their TV is only 72 inches.”

“No.” Burt said.

“What do you mean, no?” Carole asked coldly.

“No. No we will not use the money from the shop. And unless you call your mother and tell her Kurt will be there as well and that he’d better be added to everyone’s lists and he’d love things like art supplies or craft supplies or scarves and gloves and chapstick and such…then NO I will not be joining you at your folks’ on Saturday. You have no right to cancel work for me without even asking, or to tell people I will be somewhere without asking.”

“Burt! You can’t ask that of me. I won’t do it and you will be there and this whole morning will just go away and not have happened and everything will go back to how it was and Kurt will do all the chores and Finn won’t have to maintain better eating habits or grades and stop not doing it my way! You are ruining everything!” Carole screeched before starting to sniff like she’d been crying.

Kurt looked at her with raised eyebrows.

Burt just looked at her. “Are you done? If Kurt had done that he’d be donating his next paycheck to the sass jar. WE are not going back to you walking all over me and everyone else. I’m done with it. Now, pull yourself together and let’s finish this. Kurt, when we are done I’m going to call Wade and I want you to go through the house and garage and remove all the alcohol. No more wine coolers, no more beers, no wine or anything else. We will bring it in for parties but then it is gone. I am hoping that the alcohol is responsible for most of this.”

Kurt nodded and Finn nodded and Carole continued to sniff. Burt ignored her and her sniffing got louder. Burt just glared and turned back to the boys.

“Alright Finn, this time…since you all have left us so little time to do anything with…we will all shop together for your family Christmas parties. Tomorrow night we are taking the money from the shop and buying Christmas for a family or two in need…Hank was calling around today to different places to see who so I don’t have details yet. We will do your shopping then. I am sorry but they won’t be huge gifts, not if we are buying for everyone. If your mother doesn’t have a list for me by the time Kurt and I get home tonight, can you get me one by tomorrow afternoon?”

“Yeah, I think I can do it.” Finn said.

“What do you eat for Christmas Eve and Christmas?” Kurt asked.

“Take out for Christmas eve since we are coming home from Cleveland and we have Ham and Potatoes for Christmas dinner.”

“Are you opposed to other things?” Kurt asked.

“Like what?” Finn asked.

“Like Pork roasts? I was going to do a crown roast this year, with sausage and fall vegetable stuffing.”

“Can we still have potatoes?” Finn asked.

Kurt tilted his head in thought and then nodded. “Do you think you could go with loaded smushed potatoes?”

“I guess. I don’t know what those are.”

“I’ll show you a picture online. If you decided you don’t like them we can do mashed. Anything for breakfast?”

“We open presents in the morning….we eat snacks after we open presents. Usually I eat the Twinkies from mom.” Finn said.

“Your mom gets you Twinkies for Christmas?” Kurt asked.

“What? Twinkies are the best. You have to have Twinkies for Christmas and those Peep things for Easter.”

“Ok, then.” Kurt said. He wrote on his list and went back and wrote on the Easter list.

“Why? What do you guys do for Breakfast?” Finn asked.

“I make cinnamon rolls and fry-ups, although last year we had croissants with like a thick hot chocolate that our French teacher suggested so I could get extra credit. We open our stockings and look at what Santa left, eat breakfast, and then open gifts. Then Dad does whatever Dad does and I start cooking for dinner, which is like Thanksgiving where we eat in the afternoon. Sometimes he watches games, sometimes he watches his new movies. Then we eat chips and vegetables and dips and leftovers if we get hungry and we play a board game in the evening.”

“Don’t you have to open your Santa gifts?” Finn asked.

“Santa doesn’t wrap stuff.” Kurt said.

“Oh, Santa wraps stuff when he drops it at our house in special Santa paper.”

“Well then…if we were to combine traditions for Christmas morning,” Kurt said. “We could wake up and get our stockings and wrapped Santa gifts and open things from Santa, then sit down and eat breakfast, then open gifts and eat a midday dinner and do some sort of game in the evening with snack foods and whatever else.”

Finn sat and thought for a few moments and then nodded. “I like that idea. That is two gift opening times and more fixed food. But what type of games? Could others come over? Puck usually came over after dinner.”

“You’d have to ask dad.” Kurt said. “But as long as Puck or whoever didn’t mind playing games, I wouldn’t care. Usually we play something like Yahtzee or card games. Or whatever new game I got.”

Burt nodded. “I don’t care if people come over during the evening. Sometimes we even have people over during dinner…like if I have an apprentice at the shop that can’t go home for the holiday.”

“Well, I don’t think anyone not one of Finn’s friends should be allowed over on Christmas day, it’s a family holiday.” Carole said.

“What about Kurt’s friends?” Burt said.

“No. Only Finn’s.”

“Yeah, no. Sorry.” Burt said.

“But Burt, Kurt’s friends are bound to make Finn uncomfortable.” Carole said.

Kurt snorted.

“Yeah, somehow I doubt that,” Burt said. “However, I know many of Finn’s friends make Kurt uncomfortable…due to the fact they STILL bully him on a regular basis and yet, you insist they be welcome here.”

“Finn deserves to have his friends over and the bullying issues are just over exaggerated and I swear half of them are made up just to make you feel sorry for him and probably like hand him new things or money to buy stuff.”

Kurt laughed. It wasn’t a nice sweet laugh, either. It made Burt cringe.

“I’ll tell you what, Carole, for every provable act of bullying Kurt encounters…including calls to the shop and acts of vandalism at the shop…you will put an extra 10 bucks into the household bank account.” Burt said.

“No way! I am not going to do that! I’d be broke. I’d have nothing to spend on myself.”

“Ah, so you don’t really believe Kurt or anyone else exaggerates the bullying…otherwise you’d be willing to put your money where your mouth is.” Burt said.

“I didn’t say that.” Carole snapped.

“You didn’t have to, your unwillingness proved it. Anyway…others are allowed over after dinner or if invited to dinner for Christmas dinner, however not our individual family members.” Burt said.

Carole growled.


	20. Chapter 20

“So…is there anything else?” Burt asked. “No? All right then, now we discuss the Christmas season as was done in the Hummel Household. Of special note will be things I Missed. And the most wonderful part? It can all be added without taking anything away from Hudson traditions! Isn’t that great! We start off before December, or early December. I will be taking Kurt to the Festival of Trees and Nutcracker’s Suite at the University. It is the same day…you can ask to be included in either activity or even both activities if you would like. We will be decorating inside this house more. There will be garlands and wreaths and candles and other Christmas things. My singing Elvis Duck will come out and sit on the Mantle. So will the singing Snoopy. They will stay there. The tree will go up before Thursday, when Carole wants her Girls Night Out gathering and we will be discussing that gathering more to come to a fair consensus about the meal and activities at it. The tree will not be pink and purple Victorian. There will not be lots of lace. However, Kurt, I think we are going to have to revisit the whole blown glass ornament tree we had thought about doing last year. Those ornaments are safer left in their box until some other time. See what you can come up with using what we might have and less breakable ornaments. Kurt, your tradition tree can be downstairs and full size. You will be sharing. Not in the bedroom, of course. It will not stay lit over night or while no one is down there, either. Finn, talk to Kurt about Christmas Trees and Christmas decorations you like and we’ll see what we can do. Not a whole theme just for you though, tough luck. Your ornaments would probably be happy on the Tradition tree. Next year we will be doing the advent calendars. As of tomorrow, Christmas music will be played in the house. We will continue our money collections at the garage and sponsoring a family or two in need. Kurt and I will split the buying with several others, like always. Kurt and I will buy angel tree gifts this weekend…even if we go to Carole’s family party. Two days before Christmas I will take Kurt to several rest homes and I will deliver puzzle books and other items like that while Kurt sings and delivers cookies. Finn and Carole, you can join us if you’d like. We will listen to the Night Before Christmas before we go to bed on Christmas Eve, Santa will be left cookies and milk, and Stockings will start out the night on the mantle. Kurt, as of tomorrow the kitchen is open for as much Christmas baking as you’d like. Oh, and we will have a solstice bonfire and do the solstice candles.”

Kurt smiled.

Finn was quiet and had his head tilted and his face scrunched up, like he was thinking hard.

“I guess none of that sounds too bad. I mean, I don’t know what that Tree thing is and I don’t understand the Advent calendar thing…but Kurt’s been doing that Candle thing and it’s not been too weird.”

“That isn’t the solstice candles. I’ve been doing Advent candles. Either might be weird if I did it the whole religious way,” Kurt said. “But I don’t believe so I don’t go all out. Mom never did the whole advent thing either…or the whole solstice thing. She had a friend whose Grandmother modified advent and so we’ve always done it that way. And she learned Solstice through a roommate at college and did a less pagan version…so that is what we do. And Advent Calendars have treats or something for everyday leading to Christmas…the one I did this year even after being told NO has chocolates each day. That is what I have been eating in front of you. I was willing to buy you one too, but your mom said no.”

Finn turned to his mom. “You said no to a chocolate every day?”

“Finn, it isn’t something we do.” Carle said.

“It’s something I wouldn’t have minded trying!”

Carole shook her head. “But if I had said yes to that you might have thought we should do other things their way instead of ours and we were supposed to do it our way and not have to change!”

“But...”Finn started but didn’t finish his thought. He had his thinking face on again.


	21. Chapter 21

Burt leaned back in his chair and watched. Kurt was writing and Burt was sure he’d have everything that was mentioned written down before Finn was back in the conversation. He waited a few minutes, until Kurt had stopped writing and Finn wasn’t looking like he was thinking so hard anymore before continuing on with the family meeting.

“Before we leave holidays behind,” Burt said. “Are there any other big things that are done every year?”

“Like our trip to the Hot Air Balloon Festival?” Kurt asked.

“Yes.” Burt said.

“Well, the last week of July with Aunt Mildred.” Kurt said with a sigh. “On the bright note…two of her boys were supposed to graduate this year…finally. Then there is the Hummel sledding thing that hopefully will be too far away to go to this year.”

“Now Kurt,” Burt said.

“Dad, last year at Aunt Mildred’s Wayne tied me to a tree and threw golf balls at me…which I was somehow supposed to deflect with my mind…because Wally convinced him I had magical powers.”

Finn laughed. “That sounds similar to what Jack and my cousin Amber’s little boy did to Amber’s little girl.”

“And they are how old?” Kurt said.

“I think like five and six? Amber’s kids have that bright red hair…remember? And she has that baby that is freaky because it just stares at you like it is judging you.”

“Ok…Finn, my cousins are all older than me. Granted Trent is just a bit over half a year older, but still. Oh and it is Wayne and Wally who are supposed to graduate this year. Wayne was held back two years and Wally one. Trent was held back too, but he was held back at Kindergarten time, so he is the same grade as we are.”

“Oh.”

Kurt nodded.

“I also want to make hunting season next year.” Burt said. “Lou said he missed us this year and he has a new bow for you. He’ll bring it by during Christmas break.”

Kurt smiled.

“Kurt goes hunting?” Finn said.

Kurt nodded. “I go bow hunting with my dad’s cousin Lou pretty much every year and I go with Dad and Hank with the guns every year. Last year I got grouse and two pheasants…we didn’t try for anything bigger. We didn’t get out this year at all.”

“That’s not fair!” Finn yelled.

“I’ll take you next year if you pass hunter’s ed…including the bow course if you think you want to try the bows.”

“You have to go to school for it?” Finn whined.

“Yes.” Burt said.

“Finn, anyone with a Hunting License in this state had to take Hunter’s Ed…and they passed. I’m sure you could manage.” Kurt said rolling his eyes. “We do the Car Show and Hot Air Balloon Festival and either the Monster trucks or a demolition derby. Oh and we usually manage a race.”

Burt nodded. “Add in Hank’s Birthday bash and super bowl party and Wade’s summer fling BBQ and Winter Rally Night and Jake’s Fall festival.”

“I know you missed Jake’s Festival but I went and helped with the Pumpkin Patch. Oh, and Robbie hosted a pumpkin carving party this year that they plan on making an every year thing.”

“That’s good…that boy has been trying to find a party to host for a while.” Burt said.

“So Finn? Are there any other big things you do?”

“Mom’s family has a summer campout thing?” Finn said. “Uncle Bobby finds us cabins somewhere by a lake and we all swim and play games and stuff. It is usually in July, the week after the fourth. It is all week long but sometimes we don’t stay all week. Last year I went to that football camp instead for more than half of it.”

Burt nodded and pointed at the paper for Kurt to write it down.

“Oh…Puck and I have a weekend gaming marathon the first weekend in August. Most of the time it is just us…even though sometimes that makes people mad.”

Burt nodded again. “If you think of any others come tell me. Carole…do you have anything to add.”

“No. I’m going to go back to bed…my head aches.”

“No, not quite yet,” Burt said smiling. “We need to discuss Finn and driving.”

“No. We don’t. He drives the truck and that is that. We should fill it up more often for him, though.”

“Is he legally driving that truck?” Burt asked.

Carole refused to look at anyone. “I don’t have time to drive him places and he would be teased if he had to ride the bus or ask for rides. His reputation is more important.”

“Did he take driver’s ed?”

“No. Why would he?” Carole said. “I taught him well enough.”

Burt rolled his eyes and looked at Finn.

“Finn, did you hit someone?”

“Yeah, a mailman when Mom was teaching me.” Finn said.

“What happened after that?” Burt asked.

“I wasn’t going real fast…he just kinda rolled up the hood and off the side and then mom was screaming and she pulled the wheel and made us run into a fire hydrant and we switched sides then we got out and no one was there who saw anything to tell anyone different than what she said.” Finn said.

“And what did she say?” Kurt asked.

“Oh…that she swerved to miss hitting him more centered after he walked right out into the street while not looking. She got yelled at and was supposed to see a judge but then came home after talking to a lawyer and said everything was fixed.”

“How old were you?” Burt asked.

“I’ve been driving since I was 15 and a half.” Finn said. “So that was probably when I was like almost 14 and half maybe.”

“And you have never considered you needed a license?”

“We got me a state Id. card; I don’t need one of those.”

“That’s not how it works, Finn.” Kurt said with a sigh.

“Of course it is.”

“No, it’s not.” Burt said. Burt sighed and rubbed his head. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“Are you going to call someone about it?” Kurt asked.

“No. That’s why I can’t believe I’m doing this. Finn stops driving immediately. The truck comes to the garage and stays there and Finn starts the police run drivers education class starting in January. We go about this completely legal from this point forward…and Finn, if you talk about driving illegally at that class, they will fine you and possibly arrest you and your mother. I suggest you play dumb as a rock and say what you know of driving you learned driving in fields at your uncle’s house. Just keep quiet unless asked, answer just what you are asked, and offer no extra information. Because if you let it slip you’ve driving for years with no license, I will not cover your asses on this. Seriously, what you have both been doing is so reckless and stupid I am of half a mind to take you down right now and turn you over myself.”

“But Kurt drives!”

“Kurt is licensed and qualified and has been driving very well for a long time. And Kurt got special permission to drive at the garage starting at 12 which I had to fill out reams of paperwork for. That involved moving cars in and out of the garage and parking them. That was it for a long time. He started officially taking the same drivers course I am signing you up for the day he turned 15 and a half….just like he was LEGALLY able to and drove the required hours with company, just like he was supposed to. He got his license when he was supposed to…his honest to goodness driver’s license. And he generally follows the rules. And when something does happen, his doesn’t get his vehicle back until I allow it.”

“Like when Mercedes threw the brick through my baby’s window!” Kurt said.

“You said you lost use of your car because your dad found your tiara collection.” Finn said.

“I told Mercedes I lost the use of my baby because my dad found my tiara collection. She was feeling stupid and guilty enough as it was, I wasn’t going to be cruel and add to it. Tina and Brittany knew the real reason. No one else actually asked me. Dad’s known about the tiara collection since I started it at two.” Kurt said with and eye roll. “It also had nothing to do with my thigh length sweaters.”

“I’m not driving him, Burt. I just do not have the time.” Carole said.

“That is fine. I will drop him off at school when I head to work. Then he will certainly be on time and maybe he can put that extra time at the school to use working on his grades. I will also have someone watching so he doesn’t get up to mischief and ill behavior being there early like that.”

“You can’t do that!” Finn shouted.

“Can’t do what?” Burt asked.

“Have someone tattle on me!” Finn shouted.

Burt raised an eyebrow. “So, you generally do things that if someone were to see and tell me about it would be tattling?”

“What? I didn’t say that. I mean No. I mean…” Finn trailed off.

“Yeah…so until you pass and complete the requirements for drivers ed…which will not be lowered for you because you are over 17…someone else will be driving you places. I am not kidding Finn. Furthermore, all your driving hours will be with me. No one else.”

“But…”

“But nothing. You were reckless and irresponsible. There will be no more of this.” Burt said.

“Are you done being tyrannical, Burt? I don’t know why you think I’m going to put up with this. I will not. Finn is being treated horribly by you right now, and it is crushing him. I can’t believe all you are putting my sweet boy through today.” Carole said, pushing herself away from the table. She swayed as she stood and put her hand to her head and grimaced.

“Finn is not and he is just fine, I’m sure. Anything he has been put through today is his own fault for doing illegal things so often and getting away with crap.” Burt said.

“It’s Kurt’s fault.” Carole said. “If Kurt would just act normal…”

“Bullshit. Half of what has been discussed has been happening since long before Kurt came into the picture.”

“Nonsense, I still am not seeing problems through the whole thing.”

“Your child lies and cheats and vandalizes and drinks and skips school and is flunking classes and treats others poorly, and you are not seeing a problem?” Burt said.

“No, it’s all just kid stuff that doesn’t matter. And None of that can really be proven. Now, you are going to just stop with all this meeting whatever crap and do everything how it has been done the last few weeks and however Finn and I want it done and you will NOT discuss anything with the cops about things Finn might have been involved with at all and you will not listen to any of those farfetched lying tales your child tells you about anything Finn or anyone else has done to him. Finally you will NOT question me.” Each statement was accompanied by a stomp of her foot as Carole snapped.

“I will not, huh?” Burt asked.

“No, you will not. I am always the one telling you the truth, I haven’t been the one telling lies. Kurt has, Kurt always has been the one lying! Me and Finn are the only ones telling you the right truths!” Carole screamed.

“Good God! How long have you been playing games like this? Do you lie to me often? Or just once in a while to cover your son’s sorry ass? How often have you lied to make yourself look like the one in the right, Carole? To make Finn the one in the right? Is it all lies? Am I going to have to make you show evidence to back up anything you tell me? Was it all a sham? Is it all a sham?” Burt yelled.

“I’m going back to bed; you and I will discuss this travesty of hate towards me when I can talk without it echoing.”

“Fine…go to bed. You are right though, you and I will be discussing this all. And hopefully, we come to some sort of solution that is rational or you will be finding a new home…just the two of you. I refuse to deal with this type of behavior any longer. Either you are this hateful bratty little bitch you’ve been showing me since we got married or you are the grown mature woman I dated….who had issues apparently, but they didn’t completely rule everything and we could probably deal with those in some sane manner. I will remain married to the grown women, not the little bitch.”

Carole screamed and stomped off towards the stairs.

“We will be discussing jobs and Finn before the end of January, Carole. Don’t forget to drink some more water before you take your nap.” Burt called after her.

Burt watched as Carole swayed as she headed back up the stairs. All those times when they were dating and she begged off after evening spent with the girls she worked with made more sense, as did the days she called and canceled citing a hard day at work. He couldn’t see how he had missed it before, but then…he hadn’t been looking, he guessed. They drank very little while out together, even the few times they went to fancy places, and she’d never shown up to the get-togethers Burt hosted that had beers. He wasn’t willing to play this game all the time though, so she was just going to have to get used to less drinking at the house…And several other changes that were going to have to be made.


	22. Chapter 22

“Why should I get a job?” Finn asked after his mom had made it up the stairs.

“One…a job means you get paid. That means more money to spend.” Kurt stated, counting off on his fingers so Finn could follow. Burt snorted but let Kurt continue. “Two. A job teaches you skills you can use throughout life, even if you don’t end up working in that industry. Three. A job makes you more appealing to girls. They like guys who can get them nice things and have prospects. Four. Jobs look good on college applications and five…you can meet lots of new people.”

“You really think a job will make girls more interested?” Finn asked.

“Would you like to start calling and asking? I’ll give you Quinn’s number first and then you can move to Rachel. Or how about Santana?”

“Ok. Ok. I’ve actually heard about the topic from all of them.”

“They aren’t the odd ones out on the topic. They are pretty much normal when it comes to their men having jobs.”

“But, it will just take up so much time…when will I do things I like to do? When will I play my video games or go out to parties or hang out? How can anyone expect me to work and be popular?”

“I think if you ask around other people you know who are also popular have some sort of job,” Burt said.

Finn sighed. “But…they aren’t me. It will be too hard. Are we done?”

“Yes, pretty much. I’ll have Kurt make lunch in about an hour or so.”

Finn nodded and got up from the table and left to the basement.

Kurt looked at Burt. “I’m sorry.” He said.

Burt moved over and sat right next to Kurt and put his arm around his shoulders, pulling him into a hug.

“Oh, kiddo, you have nothing to be sorry about. I’m sorry. I didn’t see things until I went back and started looking again.”

Kurt sighed and tucked his head onto his dad’s shoulder. “For what it is worth, even though I know it is not what Carole and Finn believe… I introduced you to Carole because you were lonely and I was tired of seeing you lonely. Sure, I had hoped we would do things as a family and Finn would bother to see me as something other than ‘that gay kid’ but I never even considered we would be this far at this point in time. I figured since you took so long to date again…and since you and mom dated for years before getting married, that living together and marriage was far in the future. I honestly figured that I would be off to college already when you and Carole got married…if you even did.”

“What was that whole bedroom thing?” Burt asked.

“Dad…I asked the first time you mentioned thinking about it what furniture they were bringing with them. The only thing coming this way was Finn’s dad’s chair and a few things of Carole’s…like end tables. I asked about Finn’s bedroom set. Carole said no, they were getting rid of it. You tried to bribe Finn with 300 bucks, which I took. That was literally all I had to make my bedroom useable for both of us that wasn’t out of my own pocket. I asked his favorite colors…which I tried to incorporate with the cheapest materials possible. I put most the money into bedding and trying to make some sort of a divider and provide light for each area and other basics for each area. Most of what was there was bought on clearance sales and there wasn’t much time between buying and Finn moving in to do any alterations. No one allowed me to say anything.”

Burt closed his eyes and hugged his boy tighter. He’d forgotten that and he was certain Finn and Carole never even thought about it. They just expected everything to be there and fixed just right for them. Somehow Kurt was supposed to turn a queen sized bed into two beds with nothing and magic dressers and desks and other items out of thin air.

“Where did you get the beds and frames?” Burt asked.

“You remember that stupid mattress commercial? I offered up my services to writing and sort of directing two more commercials for him. We used his family and some pets from the rescue shelter that then got rescued. He paid in mattresses, pillows and simple bedframes. The material that draped was supposed to be able to be untied and create a wall type thing for nighttime and the folding screen thing was so we could block out each other during the day but not feel claustrophobic. Oh, and we still use all the bedding…just not the big comforters and the throw pillows. Those were a great deal, mind you…nearly a 250 dollar set that I got for 30 bucks a piece, and they were King sized so Finn would have been able to be completely covered, so I did not toss them. And actually I use mine, because that is a down comforter and a nice one at that…I just bought a new cover for it in less loud colors and Finn has never looked hard. Finn has no clue.”

“I should have asked you many many times over the last year for YOUR explanation of things. Not just listened to what Finn told Carole and then Carole told me.”

Kurt chuckled. “One of the warblers that is less Blaine’s friend and more Jeff and Nick’s calls kids like Finn tellers. He has this whole set of categories, some psychology thing he is thinking up. There are avoiders and straight talkers as well as some others…I got lost a bit when he was trying to explain it all because Blaine was trying out a new song and jumping around trying to get us to pay attention to the song. Anyway, kids like Finn are tellers. They are terrified of tattle tales because that is their way of working. I mean, when Carole asks Finn how his day was he never really answers. He tells her what I did or Puck did or Quinn did or Rachel did…focusing on what annoyed him or he didn’t like because they took focus from him. It’s his way of avoiding getting into trouble and getting his mom to feel sorry for him and give him attention and stuff. I am more of an avoider. I tell you all about what I did in class and what I learned and nothing about who pushed me into a locker or threw a slushie at me or tripped me in the hall and thus avoid the question of how was my day for the most part.”

“Except I know those things also happen.” Burt said.

Kurt shrugged. “Puck once told me this summer that in Carole’s eyes Finn cannot really do anything wrong. Quinn’s pregnancy threw them for a loop…because Finn would never do anything like that. Not because they had ever talked about anything to prevent it…and they didn’t even after really…but because Finn is a good kid and things like that only happen to bad kids. It is never his fault, only everyone else’s. I still don’t think the boy knows how girls get pregnant.”

“And you do?” Burt asked.

“I know that sex causes pregnancy and what sex is between boys and girls. I’ve seen sex on movies. Hello. And not porn ones either…yuck. I don’t need to know more than that…just….no, no, no. Eeewww…Yuck. Ugh. I know McKinley style health class and that health supplement class info. It is all so horrid and nasty that yeah…I can’t even think about it any farther. I know what is taught in Grease 2 and other movies like that.” Kurt said with a shudder.

Burt chuckled.

“I am sorry about all this,” Burt said, waving his hand over the notebook and Kurt’s notes.

Kurt shook his head. “You know what dad…I don’t care if Carole never buys me a gift. I don’t care if she never does anything with me. I’m…okay…without that ‘mother’ figure in that manner. I’ve got you to go to parent teacher conferences and watch my activities. You do fine at making sure I’m fed right and dressed well enough. I am okay. All this…it is okay…I’ll be fine. I just…I want her to treat you right. I want to know when I leave home you aren’t stuck with all the financial burdens and all the chores and all the cooking and everything while she is off playing and partying. I want to know someone is here to do things with you that you enjoy. I want to know someone is treating you for your birthday and at Christmas. That life is Not just you doing things for them. And after today…I just worry that that won’t be so. And I am currently terrified you’ll end up jailed for Finn’s stupidity.”

Burt hugged Kurt close. “I love you, you know. Just as you are. I promise I won’t end up jailed for Finn’s stupidity. It upsets me that Carole does this though. I want us to be a family, not have one member left out all the time.”

“As long as I get my time with you, I’ll be good. I can’t do it like we have though. I came too close to losing you to stand by and have that again. I love you, Dad. I was so scared and all I could think of is how we hadn’t had time together lately and how much I missed you.”

“If you catch me starting to do that again, if you start feeling ignored, tell me. Even if you have to pull out times and dates and prove it, don’t let me do that again, Ok?” Burt said.

“Ok.” Kurt said.

“Shit,” Burt said sitting up fast. “We forgot something!”

“Well, you haven’t called Wade or Hank or Jake yet.” Kurt said.

“Nor did I make Finn stay to be dragged to the hardware store. I doubt he has anything left of his allowance anyway, since Carole gives him it on Monday mornings…another thing we are going to have to change…and we forgot to set up. If you can make it through the rest of the day, I think I’ll have Hank come in and fix your shower tomorrow. He’s good at stuff like that as well and could use an odd job. He wants to take his family to Disneyland this March and has been looking for extra cash here and there. But no, I meant from the very start.”

“What did we forget?” Kurt asked.

“Who is sleeping in the bedroom.” Burt said.

Kurt smiled. “I am. We can either share like we are supposed to or…Wendall’s Home Furnishings has an armchair that folds out into a twin bed…a long twin. I saw them during Black Friday, and no I can’t tell you what I bought at Wendall’s. It’s not anywhere I used your card so you can’t go look either. I hope you got the receipts from Black Friday; I left them in your sock drawer like usual. It’s just that usually you’ve asked about items I bought by now and you haven’t yet. And you probably would have by now if you had looked at them, but really…some of those sales were just too hard to pass up. My December hundred for clothing was in there by the way…as was Novembers. I won’t let anything I bought go to waste…even if I do just use it for eBay sales. Anyway, we could purchase one of those for the basement and Finn can sleep in the TV room down there. I could password block all the channels Carole is worried about or even set a timer so the TV turns itself off and he won’t be able to turn it back on.”

“I’d rather he just buck up and share,” Burt said. “But we’ll look at that. Does that mean your electronics will come out from where ever you had them?”

“The TV and Satellite box will. Maybe my computer, although I have my laptop and I don’t think I have anything that needs to be printed before school starts again.”

“Let me do the calling I need to and you go do what I asked about the liquor. Then I need lists again. We need gift ideas for Finn’s relatives. We need gift idea for angel tree gifts. We need gifts for the families we’re providing Christmas for and…Carole invited her girls over for the ‘Hudson Annual Christmas Girls’ Night Out’ shebang on Thursday. She wants you to do massages and pedicures and manicures and whatever else you do for your girls’ spa time, and fix dinner and she wants to play bingo. She wants goodie bags and bingo prizes and the gift exchange gifts. I think she said fifteen to twenty women?”

Kurt sighed. “If I did this, it would probably go a long way to easing the changes we’re trying to make wouldn’t it?”

Burt shrugged. “Honestly, after the last little while, I have no idea, especially after I nixed the pink and purple Victorian Christmas theme. But it couldn’t hurt, as long as we have regulations in place. Like under no circumstances are you mixing drinks again. If she wants drinks like that she can hire a bartender, out of her own pocket.”

“I’ll do it.” Kurt said. “But the bingo gifts are going to be reasonable, like candles and little gift baskets. Oh….gift baskets. That might work for a lot of things. I wrote down her damn …er…ridiculous orders at Thanksgiving…maybe we can turn some of that into gifts. Oh and I have some stuff for use for things already…I picked up kids’ mittens and gloves and scarves and stuff like that during Black Friday sales. There were some great deals on those. I also picked up several adult sets. I had planned to add them to my girls’ gifts, but the girls have plenty without them and I got them all gloves and scarves last year anyway. Oh, and we need to send out the gifts for our side of the family tomorrow or the next day. I got Aunt Mildred’s family a quesadilla maker and Aunt Mildred a throw blanket for their couch, in very girly colors so I’m sure she’ll be able to keep it as hers this time. I got the guys all baseball hats and key chains in the teams they like best. That was a nice sale…I got part of Finn’s gift there as well. I picked up a lot of little fleece blankets at the same time as Aunt Mildred’s, they were the nice ones that usually run like twenty bucks, but were on sale for 3 dollars and fifty cents a pieces. I put one of the extras in your truck and tucked one in my SUV but there were like nine or ten more above what I bought for myself to use. And about 20 or so less nice ones that I got for a buck a piece. And I picked up make-up samples and make-up sets and finger nail clipper sets and stuff. One of the store had a huge sale on spa type stuff…I bought what I was allowed to. Spent less than 150 dollars on several hundreds worth of goods. I am rather proud of myself for that one. I figured what we didn’t use for our families we are putting together Christmas for we could use for angel tree gifts…but some can go to Finn’s families stuff too. Got stuff from the stationary store and bookstore, we could probably spread some of that around and do more shopping for the old folks home. Give me a fifteen minute warning before Wade gets here for me to gather the poison from the house, I’ll be here. I’ve got ideas.”

Kurt settled down and started listing. Burt watched him for a while. Kurt was smiling and humming, every once in a while singing bits of songs here and there.

Burt had missed that. Kurt had never been quiet at home. He’d always hummed and sang and danced his way through the house. Until high school. Kurt quieted after starting high school. He sang less and hummed less. He kept the loud singing to his room and rarely relaxed into the humming and singing he’d just simply did. It got worse after Burt started bringing Carole by…not better. He was aware it was partly his fault. Too often he’d told Kurt to keep it down. But he’d been missing it…the snippets of songs he didn’t know and the ones he did but that always surprised him because they weren’t ones expected from Kurt. He’d missed those familiar tunes that Kurt had sung since he was tiny and those familiar tunes that were just simply Kurt songs.

Paper was pulled and stacked and Kurt’s pencil was flying. Kurt was in his element with the whole gift lists thing. Maybe the call to Wade could wait until after lunch.

Burt wasn’t sure anyone was entirely happy. Kurt was happier, he would be happier, and Burt was pretty certain Finn and Carole would be happier if they gave everything a fair chance. It wasn’t going to be easy getting things rolling and working. He was hopeful that if they could get a start with at least the chore issue and allowance issue, they could move that into the new house without too much hassle. And he was committed to keeping Kurt involved in life within the household, without him having to sacrifice everything and without him being pushed to the side all the time. Even if it meant sometimes Burt was the mean guy. Because Kurt told him he loved him…and would even without everything working perfectly his way.

Burt could live with that.


End file.
